Leaving DS for the first time...

[Calluna]

Not sure really where to post this, I guess here will do...

DF was given Gold Class tickets for his birthday last year and since the year his birthday is nearly here again we have to use them really soon or they expire.
So tommorrow morning were going to see "Due Date" and SIL is going to babysit for us. I don't doubt her ability to look after him and they'll be wandering around the same shopping centre were at so it's not like we're far away if she really needs us, but I'm so nervous

What if he cries and wont settle for her?
What if he just wants me?
What if because I leave him for 2 hours he gets scared I'm going to leave him again and wont let me go for days? I wouldn't blame him really how horrible for him to be ditched like that.
What if *I* can't handle being away from him for 2 hours?

I'm having a minor panic attack now, just thinking about it. I feel like I need to appologise to him and hold him tight to say sorry and I haven't even left him yet. I don't think I'm ready for this...

[LaDolceVita]

Oh gosh I am totally with you! Looking forward to reading replies as we too have movie vouchers to use within the next 2 weeks, we have had them for almost a year and I just can't face leaving him like that just yet... I think the whole phone on silent, can't ring to check in, sitting in the dark with nothing to focus on really except a movie (which I daydream the whole way through anyway!) makes it so much worse! Great idea to have him at the same shopping centre though! Looking forward to reading replies and hope he's an angel and you have a wonderful time babe! xox

[*LittleMissSummer*]

i dont really have much advice because i have left DD alone already quite a few times. It was important for me to have her get used to other people at a young age and get used to the idea of being away from her. But it really is just a matter of doing it just to see how he reacts, maybe your SIL can do something really fun with him and he won't get too bothered.

Don't push yourself if you aren't ready, because what is the point of being away if you are too worried you wont have fun.

But it really is nice to see their smiley face after not seeing them for a couple of hours and you get the biggest cuddles

[ss_storm]

Chances are he will be fine, and all your worry will be for nothing! Lol. I can kinda imagine how you must feel, it's the feeling I get when I think about looking for a job and putting DD in daycare...as you know she's very clingy and I'm almost in tears thinking about how she would feel being left for that long without her mum!

Has your SIL spent much time with him? Being in the shopping centre he will have lots of things to distract him, might be a bit harder for you though. Can you put your phone on silent and leave it in your pocket or close to you so you can feel it, that way if your SIL really needs you she can send you a text or give you a ring but hang up and you can meet her outside. I'm sure he'll be fine, but do whatever you need to so that you can feel a bit more comfortable with the situation.

[sloane]

i reckon if you don't feel ready, don't feel like you have to do it. or if you want to leave the movie in the middle & go & get him, do it!

that said, i reckon isaac will be just fine. if he's with someone he knows then he'll be more comfy than with a stranger. is there a part of the centre where he can play or any shops he likes? they could stop for a snack etc? for 2 hours your SIL should be able to keep him fairly busy & preoccupied.

i'm sure you probably have, but maybe you could ask your SIL to sms you if he's really upset (with your phone on silent) & then you know you can go out if you need to?

and maybe plan to do something fun with isaac after the movie - like go to the park etc?

i still get guilty if/when i leave DS but he's been absolutely fine whenever i've done it. it's good too for building trust - make sure you tell him that you're going & what you're doing & that you'll be back.

good luck & enjoy the movie

[boomba]

Oh hun the first time is always scary...I remember leaving DS1 with DH to go get the groceries...I think I sped the whole way which is sooo against all my beliefs cause I was panicking he wanted me...and you know what he slept the whole time!
Its only natural to worry...maybe ask her to text you half an hour in with an update???
Try to enjoy your time together and relax

[Persephone1]

We're going to leave my DS with my sister next weekend so we can see HP7. I could have written your post word for word...so I have no advice but lots of !

[~Hestia~]

We were in this situation not too long ago, gold class tickets were about to expire and I'd never left him! I felt guilty, excited, nervous and happy all at once lol.
In our case my friend actually texted me once or twice to say what he was doing. But mostly I sat back and enjoyed eating something without having to share it! I think I was simply ready.
Funny thing is, my friend thought Moo looked tired so popped him into their cot and he slept for a couple of hours! My velcro Moo, who has never fallen asleep anywhere but his own bed without a fight or without his mummy! So he must've been ready too.
I hope all goes well!

[Calluna]

Thanks Ladies, I knew you'd understand

Apparently SIL wants o bring him back here (home) rather than stay at the shops as she really doesn't like that shopping centre and Isaac will have his toys and stuff at home. Not sure what I think, but your probably right he'll be fine... :S

The update is a good idea, I'll do that.

She hasn't spent *alot* of time with him, but he does know who she is and will let her hold him and stuff so hopefully he'll be ok.

Don't want to ruin DF's birthday pressie though, I suggested he take someone else but he wanted to go with me...

[Fleur]

Chances are he will be fine, and all your worry will be for nothing!

:yeahthat: I'm sure he'll be fine. You'll probably suffer more than him

like Sloane said, if you're not ready, you don't have to leave him yet. But a 2 hour movie, and only 5 minutes away from him if he does need you, is a good place to start.

Good luck & enjoy your movie (what are you going to see?)

ETA - just re-read, your SIL wants to take him back home - you don't have to agree to that. Only if you're comfortable with it... 2 hours around a shopping centre, should be plenty to amuse him

[Calluna]

Seeing Due date Fleur. Looks good, wonder how much I'll actually watch....

[Frangipani]

Yeah...first time leaving DS will be the scary one, but your situation is probably the best tester to see how he will go. Have your phone on silent, but so that you can see it if it rings/get messages. If it doesn't work out and your SIL needs you to go home, you can walk out of the movie.

And being at home, he'll have his favourite toys and your SIL can relax (not be stressed- i know i wouldn't feel comfortable walking around for 2hrs or so with a toddler that wasn't my own...even with my toddler it can get scary). So at least at home she will be relaxed, have all the things she needs, toys, tv/dvd's, treats etc

I'm sure he will be fine though and hopefully if it all goes well you can some more quality time with your DP.

Goodluck and enjoy yourself!

[Calluna]

That's what I thought RE being at home, but at the same time that's 20 mins away and if he hurts himself he'll want me, at least if he's in the pram he cant hurt himself...

listen to me - I better not get outta bed tomorrow, might get hit by a bus.

[~Hestia~]

LOL, I always think the worst too! I'm sure he'll be fine though. Let us know how it all goes!

[sloane]

how are you feeling this morning?

cheezel monster reminded me - we've left DS quite a few times & the thing that drives me completely crazy is that he will ALWAYS sleep for DP's mum & she can just put him in his sleeping bag & then in her porta cot & he goes off to sleep without a fuss. and it's usually for longer than he does at home

your SIL will probably be super careful with him too & will almost have him wrapped in cotton wool so he can't hurt himself!

hope you enjoy the movie

[~ Zarava Flutterby ~]

hun, hope today goes well.

I left DD2 with MIL for the first time the other day, my psycho, mummy can't leave the room little girl and she was fine, didn't even care i was gone.

The first time i left DD1 was to go to a movie, i felt horrible and she was at home with HER DAD!
After a while i did enjoy the movie but we got home quickly and the cuddles were just gorgeous, she was still awake as her cousin was there (same age) and he wasn't a happy boy... but she was fine.. fed her to sleep and all was good.

[Shanti]

I know it's hard the first time you leave them out of your sight but I think if you're leaving him with someone you trust, then it's fine and I bet you will have a GREAT time with your DH!!! Eventually there will come a time when he needs to be left with someone and it sounds like you could do with the small break anyway
Enjoy that movie! It's only a couple of hours and I think your DS will have a BALL!!! Sometimes our little people need a small break from us too, it's good for them

[Calluna]

less than an hour til we go.

I'm scared, nervous, worried. He's still asleep having cuddles with me in bed, I dont want to let him go...