Over the last few months, DD's sleeps have been getting progressively worse. She fights (literally) going to sleep during the day and also at bedtime. She won't go down at day time until 1pm or later... but she definitely does need a day sleep still.
Nights are the worst... she just doesn't go to sleep until we have had a massive battle, usually ending up in me or DH or both of us getting extremely frustrated and yelling at her to just go to sleep. Another proud parenting moment... This is after our bedtime routine (which is the same as it always has been since she was born, at the same time...), after telling her the rule is to stay in bed and stay quiet... We have tried a few things to try and get her to stay in bed, rewards/punishments/leaving the door open/lying with her... nothing seems to work until I don't even know what happens... sometimes she exhausts herself and goes to sleep, sometimes she just stays in bed on her own.
And then she wakes overnight. Generally wakes up crying, screaming out for mummy or daddy, if I get in there quick enough I can calm her down with a cup of milk and she may or may not go back to sleep. She wants more cuddles, more milk, anything... can take up to an hour or so to get her back to sleep and more often than not she will wake again.
Last night she was awake at 2am, 3am and 4am. After having DS awake and feeding til after 10pm, then helping DH with some work until midnight, I'm pretty exhausted. DS is sleeping well, which is great, but DD just seems to be getting worse.
I can't pin it on anything either - previously I'd been able to say "She's sick", "she must be teething", "its really hot in her room" or some other excuse, but last night I have no reason for... and after being up with her that often, I'm beginning to think we need some help. Its really starting to stress both me and DH out to the max and we're both exhausted.
So have you been to a sleep school? How did you decide it was time to go? Did it help?
I'm thinking about making an appt with my GP and having a chat with her...
Hi there.
For us I was starting to get too frustrated what I deemed irrationally angry. Dd was only 6 months old, but the only way she could get to sleep was if we sat next to the cot holding hers arms and legs still. That may take 10 mins or 90, and it might not last more than 20 mins before we (I) would have to start over.
I would say if it's a problem for you, it's a problem.
Good luck, I hope you can find a solution that works for you and dd.
I agree with Lara, if it feels like a problem to you and your DH, then it is a problem. Definitely have a chat to your GP or MCHN. I haven't been to sleep school, but I've had to use some methods used in sleep schools. It changed everything for the better .
When I started hallucinating regularly through lack of sleep. For me, sleep school represented an extreme measure for an extreme situation. DD was waking every 45 mins overnight, an adult sleep cycle takes 90. Co-sleeping wasn't an option for me for several reasons. We had already tried implementing the methods taught by the MACHs (and every other method including no-cry) to no avail and we needed help.
I was going through something similar, but was only pg with DS, he wasn't here yet.. And we went to sleep school and things got worse. DD lost all her trust in us. and we had to build her trust up again.
Sleep school works for some, not for others, and although I am not against CC in some situations (and have used it myself), I just couldn't handle the sleep school way of doing things. Maybe your DH could take leave (am just assuming that your DH works, sorry if not the case), and have a week, where you work on her sleep, and if your DH is home, you and him can take naps in a tag team so that you are both a bit better rested to accept the battle.
If you want some more details on my sleep school experience, I am happy to PM you with it..
OP- I went when DD was around 7 mths and we had had about 3 mths of her waking 2 hourly and I just couldn't do it anymore. She was a feed to sleep bub and I din't mind doing it early on, or when she slept for 4-5 hours at a time but once it got that bad I just didn't know what else to do. I went to QEC in Noble Park and they have some info sheets on their website as well. I know some people who have been to O'Connell house in Canterbury who also got alot from it and there is also the MBU at Mitcham Private if you have health insurance.
Basically they teach to comfort without picking them up, so patting, leaving them at times (particularly as she was crying more with me there). I found it great - I didn't do it exactly as they said but it worked for us. I think the thing is you could put your name down (they can take months and months to get into) you can then see how you go, as it is better to cancel later on, than to get desperate and be told you have to wait 6 weeks.
With DS we went through a similar experience but for 4 mths and he was waking 1-2 hourly. I used methods from the sleep school with him and for both of my kids it only took one night before they clicked and are now wonderful, happy sleepers. Good luck.
Tan, that's a good idea about putting our names down and seeing how we go. She woke a couple of times overnight and we were able to get her to go back to sleep, in her own bed, without getting her milk.
I wonder if we would actually do anything different if we went? Would they be able to help us stop her from waking, or is she just supposed to learn that herself??
Definitely get your name down - it took us about 6 weeks to get in. We had tried doing exactly what we were taught beforehard at home, but it hadn't worked. Somehow, having someone else there reinforcing that I was doing everything right helped keep me calm and kept her calm too during it all. We were there 4 nights and although our situation wasn't nearly as bad as yours, by the last night she was on track.
They won't be able to stop her waking up, but she will learn that she can go back to sleep all by herself with Mummy and Daddy coming in.
We went to sleep school when DD was about 9/10 mo. I was returning to work & DH was going to be the main carer. DD would not re-settle herself and sometimes not even settle when we tried to help her using various methods and alot of the time we were co-sleeping, which was ok as long as DD went back to sleep straight away (not usually the case though). There were some things I didn't like at sleep school, but I tried alot of their methods - introducing a sleeping bag, sleep toy, putting music on and chose what worked best, implemented it at sleep school then kept it up at home. The first two nights were the worst/hardest emotionally (I did a five night stay with DH too). I went to South Eastern Hospital.
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How did you decide it was time for sleep school?
This is after our bedtime routine (which is the same as it always has been since she was born, at the same time...), after telling her the rule is to stay in bed and stay quiet... We have tried a few things to try and get her to stay in bed, rewards/punishments/leaving the door open/lying with her... nothing seems to work until I don't even know what happens... sometimes she exhausts herself and goes to sleep, sometimes she just stays in bed on her own.
. That sounds so exhausting for you.
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