Three year old behaviour

[Mad Scientist]

I'm having issues with DD1 at the moment. She will be three in a few weeks and her behaviour in the past few weeks has changed dramatically. She isn't naughty. She just wants her way all the time and if she doesn't get it she throws these almighty tantrums where she almost hyperventilates. She screeches, stomps her feet and almost loses control. It's disturbing to watch. If DD2 does something that DD1 doesn't like, she loses it. Nothing will really calm her down. I put her in her room when she gets like that because reasoning with her achieves nothing. She doesn't listen. I realise this is normal behaviour for a toddler but does it coincide with this age? And does it end? How do you deal with it? I guess I'm looking for some other options for how to deal with it and also looking for some hope that it does end or at least improve eventually. I'm at the end of my rope today and luckily she's gone to sleep. Doesn't help that bedtime is a nightmare at the moment with DD2.......thanks in advance ladies xxx

[Beatrix]

Huge hugs hun.. sorry no advice just subbing cause my 2 1/2 yr old is exactly the same and would love some ideas

[skybie]

huuuge hugs babe. DD1 went through something similar. it did tone down as she got older but her behaviour can still be challenging as she develops.
i asked my mum when it stopped and she said at primary school age, but then added that it might have just seemed like it because she wasnt seeingme all day everyday! hehe
3's are definetly worse than 2's i think because they have a grasp of some things but not alot and 4's well they do know alot and they know how to push ur buttons!

[~Kim~]

Well if it isn't normal, my DD it it too around that age, but it did pass.
I did pretty much what you do. I'd just pick her up and put her in her room. Not as punishment, but as a safe place. I didn't shut the door. If we were out we'd just go back to the car. I became quite adept at just stopping what I was doing without a fuss. My DD wasn't one that could be cuddled out of it, she needed to do it herself, so I'd just talk quietly in her ear and say when you are ready to talk to me you can come out OK.
She still to this day says "I'm finished mum, I'm calmed down" before she comes out if she's had a meltdown (far fewer though don't worry).
I think they become truely aware of their own autonomy and their control (or lack of emotional control) over themselves and the meltdown is the only way they can manage.

[Mad Scientist]

Thanks ladies. I appreciate the reassurance. It's hard because you never know if you're doing the right thing by them and having one in the terrible three's and one in the terrible two's at the same time probably compounds the issue. They're both great kids and things could be so much worse but I feel helpless when she's so upset!