Just wondering what people's views on this are. Do you believe you are entitled to an inheritance or would it be a bonus for you to receive anything at all?
I was very, very lucky to be given my parents house after my father passed away but I don't believe children should expect an inheritance from their parents. I am under the belief it is the parents money and they are able to do what they will with their money. What are your thoughts?
I've told my Mum to leave everything to the Lost Dogs' Home, except for a couple of sentimental things. We were discussing this the other day. I believe it's up to parents to provide their kids with the education and skills to make their own living. The idea of inheritance as a finanical plan gives me the heebie jeebies. It's certainly not an "entitlement", but then I have issues with entitlement attitudes in general.
I think if parents want to spend all their hard earned cash on booze and hats, then more power to them (you know, once the kids are off their hands, obviously).
I feel the same as you, it's definately not an entitlement!! My parents worked hard for everything they have. When dad passed earlier this year mum came into some money and my brother & I encourage her to spend up and enjoy her money now holidaying /renovating, basically doing whatever she wants now she has fewer financial worries.
Anything we inherit is a bonus because we've also had to work hard to make sure we are financially secure and are not reliant on anything we might get.
To inherit someone has to die........and having them alive & healthy is worth much more than any amount of money
oh man, my mum is always going on about how she has nothing to leave my sister and i!
to her it is a big deal to be able to have something for us, i cant for the life of me convince her that id rather her be here, even if we dont have the best relationship for the most part of the time, at least i know she is still arround and we always (eventualy) work things out, to me that is more iomportant then any money or object she sees as important. i just cant convince her of that... i just hope i can pass that view onto my kids, there unkle has already gave his demands to my fil, told df that if he wants this and that, hed better be prepared to fight for it df punched him for that, hes like me, would rather have his parents arround, and if they want to "blow it all" and enjoy there life, well thats there choice and good on them!
Yes Santosha, I was absolutely shocked by this woman who insists she is entitled to her fathers inheritance and causing a division within the family. She should be grateful that both her parents are alive, I would give anything to have my parents back.
Is a bonus not an entitlement but if parents really want to leave something and won't go without in their retirement then I think that is fine. I agree that is up to parents to give children the skills to make their own living, but there are some things that are way more expensive now compared to income - than in the past (e.g. purchasing housing in many of Australia's cities) so I can see why parents often want to leave something for their children/grandchildren.
I think inheritance would be a hard thing to rely on given how old people are living these days anyway -- by the time my Mum and Dad have passed on say at 90ish, I'll be pushing 70 myself and hopefully, the live even longer than that
IMO its a bonus. i dont expect anything. other then maybe the dogs if they're still alive mainly due to me and DH having a backyard!
my mum and dad went on a "Ski" before i fell pg with DJ.
I've had dad tell me that "you and your sister will be lucky to get anything more then the house"
which i said "good. i want you to enjoy your retirement you and mum deserve it" and i honestly mean that. they worked hard for their money so why should i get it after they pass?
My mum and dad will be heading out on another "Ski" next year which i cant wait to see what they do. and if mum drives the car with the van in tow!
I believe its a bonus.
FIL's will includes DH, but as he's not DH's real father, it kinda doesn't feel right iykwim. He is his dad & has been for 20 years, we even named DS after him (middle name). We would prefer the kids to not know he's not blood related if we can help it, but we feel that his kids (the 2 youngest) & MIL should have it all. We are adults. While we could put it to good use, we don't need it.
In my family my grand parents stopped giving presents for birthday & christmas's when we were very young (the younger cousins weren't even born yet)
The idea was that they'd put money away for us instead & we'd inherit it at 25.
I'm turning 27 & haven't heard a thing about it, but I feel it'd be rude to ask. I refuse to life my life according to handouts I 'might' recieve.
I know mum & dad won't have much to leave us. Long as they don't leave us debt I'm happy, lol
almost two years ago DH got an inheritence from his mothers passing, wasnt much but he was uncomfortable getting it, we just wanted a few pieces of furniture and bits so we could tell DD that things in our house were nannas and we had things that reminded us of her. his sister on the other hand arranged a sale at the house to sell all her stuff and get as much money as possible. luckily she ****ed off back to the usa before the sale and i managed to take the things that were sentimental to DH out of the sale but half the stuff we thought we would keep got sold.
I think SIL felt it was HER stuff to have and HER money to claim.
ETA: i thought of a few more stories....a friend i used to know in the uk and her mother are waiting for the grandmother to die and have been waiting for about 20 years....and have told me this many many times....so they can get the big inheritance....she just turned 100!
My mums brother had to leave his country due to the political state there and had to start all over again with his family, its been really hard for them, my grandma made a comment that she was thinking about leaving all the inheritnace to him, and my mum got really angry about it! i dont know the full story but i think she is wrong to demand anything!!!!
I keep telling my parents to spend their money I don't want it! They aren't though! I definitely don't expect to receive anything, however will definitely appreciate it if I do. To me this would mean being able to pay it foward to others as well.
Definitely a bonus. My dad doesn't have much to do with us to keep the peace with his wife (cos she hates the lot of us) and said that he would rather not get divorced so he can keep his money and leave it to us when he dies.
I told him "**** the money dad, I'd rather have a relationship with you NOW than tell my kids that they did have a poppy that they didn't see much but hey, here's $20 from his grave"
As far as I'm concerned, we get by on our own means, whether they be limited or not. We shouldn't rely on our parents to provide us anything when they die, because I'd rather them live it up while they can.
I think there are some things that are an entitlement like property has been handed down through generations. But otherwise I guess it would be a 'bonus' although I wouldn't use that word either because I hate the thought of my parents ever not being there. Maybe 'compensation for loss' is a better word
I once had to sit through a conversation with a friend who was complaining that her dad had spent his life savings doing up an old Rolls Royce and that was her inheritance! I found it distasteful to say the least.
I see it as a bonus, but my mum brags about what we are getting which I find totally morbid!! And dh's dad keeps talking about it too lately We tell them to enjoy themselves, but I think it's their generation, being war babies and the struggle their parents had they want to make sure we don't do the same?
I don't expect anything from my parents, but I will be making sure my sisters and I do get something from my father (who we have no relationship with due to his serious abuse of us). He has no other children. I very much doubt his mother (still alive) will leave him much/anything, but don't expect to receive an inheritance from her. We may, because I do believe she will probably feel she wants to. That's a bonus if it eventuates. I'd rather she lived to 100 and got to see DD (her great-granddaughter) grow up.
My Mum probably won't have much and I'd rather she spent it all on herself. DP and I are living a better lifestyle than her and I would feel very guilty if she left me anything. She should be making her own life better.
DP's mother likes to brag about how much she's going to leave him, but then peppers every meltdown with how she's cutting him out of her will. DP sees it now as his right, but only because she's such a PITA and has made this a big issue. Also DP's father, who likes to tell him all the time what he's leaving his sons. I don't think DP would consider it anything but a bonus except that his parents won't shut up about it... With what we've had to put up with from MIL I don't think any inheritance would compensate the pain and suffering!
DP and I believe in making our own way, but our reaction to our parents discussion of this is down to their issues, not ours.
Last edited by Jennifer13; December 29th, 2010 at 02:40 PM.
I'm an only child, and my parents do "joke" that they are leaving everything to me. But for me, I'm happy they are having fun. It's the personal items that mean more - a photo of my great-great-grandfather and his 4-in-hand and Queen Victoria with a written account of the history. My grandmothers' rings and grandfathers' war medals.
If property was handed down from previous generations, I would expect that to continue to be handed down, otherwise I reckon it's all for the enjoyment now.
Inheritance - Entitlement or a bonus?
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df punched him for that, hes like me, would rather have his parents arround, and if they want to "blow it all" and enjoy there life, well thats there choice and good on them!
DP sees it now as his right, but only because she's such a PITA and has made this a big issue. Also DP's father, who likes to tell him all the time what he's leaving his sons. I don't think DP would consider it anything but a bonus except that his parents won't shut up about it... With what we've had to put up with from MIL I don't think any inheritance would compensate the pain and suffering!
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