Is this child abuse?

[OutbackWoman]

Hi Ladies,

We have a problem with DS at the moment he is constantly escaping from the House and yard.
He can open every door (even the dead bolt when locked) and if barricade the door, he unlocks the windows and climbs out! (we can't key lock the window because they are old ones without keys)

The Yard is fully fenced, but DS climbs over the fence anyway and runs out into the compound/paddock.

It is very unsafe for DS to be outside the house fence, there are trucks driving around, and the gyrocopter is flying at the moment so of course DS is attracted to that!

My question is IF we put up a electric fence would it be construid as Child abuse?

I mean it's not like we are going to put it up and hold his hand on it or anything?! So it would be there for his safety really.
I would imagine he would only touch it 10-20 times before he got the idea!

[~Stoked~]

I don't think so. I think it's alot better than if he was to get himself in front of a truck or car! Yes, being zapped hurts but the pain goes away instantly! Just get one that isn't too strong.
FWIW we used to pay my little sister $1 to touch the electric fence to see if it was working! Haha!

[~ Zarava Flutterby ~]

If you were to do it i'd find out if there is a way of adjusting the voltage, so you can get as little shock as is required to send the message.
Personally it's not something i could do but if it's your last resort and for a matter of overall safety then i would be discussing the options for it and dangers involved.

Is it possible to seek professional advice regarding this behavior before taking such drastic measures?
Do you know WHY he does it, is it curiosity about everything going on outside?
Can you get a latch of some sort for the windows that goes at the top or something for at the very top of the doors?

[Nicambhar]

I think an electric fence to keep a toddler in is a very inapropriate and possibly dangerous way to approach your problem. I understand you're frustrated and rightly so given the dangers around your property. I have no idea what you can do, but electric fence is definately not the solution here.

[Liz]

hmm... I would probably look into some sort of anti climb fencing or something (does it exist? LOL) and agree with a PP about fixing locks etc out of reach. I wouldn't say an electric fence would be child abuse. I mean I'm sure kids growing up on farms soon learn which fences are electric It does sound a little off to get it just for a child tho. I don't really know tbh. Only you can know what's going to keep him safe.. but I think ask around some professionals re locks and fencing first

[skybie]

ur main concern is the saftey of your child so i dont consider it to be child abuse, i do think u should look into alternatives b4 u go ahead with an electric fence, not only that i imagine theyd be quite exxy too

[OutbackWoman]

I should try and explain a bit, due to some of the resonses I am getting...

I'm not Frustrated, I'm exhaused!

I don't sleep, because DS sometimes gets out of be and goes for a wander, he can open the dead lock door (I refuse to take out the key in case we have a fire or something)
I have peed my pants before, because DS was outside and I could NOT run in and go to the loo really quickly.
I cannot answer the phone at all, which makes running the business extremely difficult, because I fear for his life.
We have a 6ft high fence and he still climbs it, I have watched him before... it takes him about 30 seconds to get over it... and he is not even 3 yet!
DS is very strong, I have put those child safety latches on EVERYTHING, and he has them ripped off in about 4-5 days

We live on a station, which for the city people here who have never been on a farm, IT'S DANGEROUS!

From our house- there are 2 deep wells within a 50 metre radius of the house - they are covered over, but I sure as hell wouldn't stand on one!
I killed 4 snakes yesterday... not your garden variety snakes, but 3 Taipans and 1 Brown!
added to that we are 4 hours from the nearest hospital, so if something goes bad, it tend to go really bad out here!

So for me to be asking about putting an electric fence up, I AM REALLY AT THE END!

I DON'T want to wake up one morning and find William floating in the nearest well..
I DON'T want him to be bitten by a snake in an area I CANNOT control, or CANNOT see, so he can be given antivenom.
I DON'T want a DEAD KID.

I know how bad it must sound to ask for peoples opinions on this... but honestly, I don't know what else to do!

[~Hestia~]

What about different fencing? I'm not sure what you have but I would imagine a brick fence would be pretty hard to climb.

[Little Chicken]

What about those magnetic locks that go on cupboards? Would they work on an external door? You could put them right at the top as well.

[OutbackWoman]

What about those magnetic locks that go on cupboards? Would they work on an external door? You could put them right at the top as well.

I had the same thought! lol... but apparently if you are on the other side of the door they won't open because the magnet thing inside it is facing the wrong way! lol
We found this out the hard way too! Had to smash a window to get back in after going shopping and thinking nothing of it! lol

[KimmyF]

If someone was to report this to the Child Protective authorites I am quite sure they would be out for a visit, as even though your intentions are well meant, electric fences are not appropriate tools for disciplining children. is there a way you can put somenthing over the window such as flyscreen screwed in etc that your DS would not be able to climb through even if he opens it? How high is your fence? is it possible to make it higher therefore harder to climb over. Does your DS understand when you talk to him about safety issues in other settings etc.
personally i would not use the electric fence as i think it could be taken the wrong way by others and perhaps it wont actually solve the issues that you sound like you are having with your DS. I would definately be seeking some professional support/advice first.
Good luck

[Sopdet]

I would be considering the electric fence in your situation, maybe one of those ones that looks like orange plastic as opposed to wiring a traditional fence. As ZF says, dial down the voltage.

I can understand your stress, frustration and yes I do know about living on a station, I know how dangerous the place can be and yes you've done as much as you can.

I hope you find a solution to this.

[LimeSlice]

I would put the fence up. He will ultimately learn how to climb under it/through it like we did on the farm, but it will stop him.

Also, I would get some slide bolts for the doors - put them up the top of the door so they ram home to the top of the door jamb.
He won't be able to reach them, even from a chair.

The other thing I am sure you are already doing it talking with him about the dangers of running off - he is old enough now to grasp some of the really basic concepts about hurting himself, losing mummy etc. Keep reinforcing that point, esp now you are UTD - things will only get harder to chase after.

Put the fence up. It is not child abuse, it is simply what will work, keep him safe, and you sane. He will not hurt himself, and no, he is not a cow, but even children need to learn the hard way sometimes.

[OutbackWoman]

What about different fencing? I'm not sure what you have but I would imagine a brick fence would be pretty hard to climb.

Good suggestion thanks!

not sure DP will go for it, because our existing house fence is about 300 metres long, and it would probably cost a fair bit.. but I'll mention it to him! anything is worth a shot at the moment...

P.S Pool fencing doesn't work with him either, he just scales it sideways... so thats out too...

[sarah85]

Can you put a hook for the key for the deadbolt as high as you can reach on the wall next to the door? And move any furniture (i.e. hall tables) that he might use to stand on? Maybe put one of those hooks that keep a door held back (usually on the bottom of a door) at the top as another precaution to keep it closed? Or if your door opens inwards, hammer a piece of wood at the top of the door frame that you can either turn horizontally so you can open the door, or turn it vertically so it extends over the door and DS can't (theoretically) open the door. These may not work, depending on the house, and furniture etc, but I figured anythign is worth a try.
I really feel for you hun - I can only imagine the sheer exhaustion you are feeling - especially now being pregnant again!
If it comes down to it, and it really is your last option, then maybe you need to go ahead with this - at least for a year or so until DS is old enough to understand. The only thing would be if he is that determined, he might find a way around the fence too!
What does your DH think about it? I imagine he's pretty busy running the property too - I really don't envy you at all!

[KimmyF]

i must have been typing my post as you posted before, i agree with some of the other replies in that maybe have a look at what the fence is made from and if you can make it so it;s not scaleable like a pool fence or similar. I don't have any other answers for you but good luck and i hope you can figure something out so you can relax and know that your DS is safe

[widdly]

It sounds as though you have thought of and tried every other option to keep William safe. I'd say, if its your last resort then get the electric fence. Better for William to get a few little shocks than to drown or die from a snake bite xxx

[sarah85]

oh sorry! I forgot about the window!