Any advice about Parenting Orders? ( i know nada, zip, about them)

[Gigi]

would appreciate hearing from those who have done them, BTDT.

thanks

[Fleur]

We did them, but it was a long time ago (12 years) so I don't know how things might have changed.

Anything in particular you wanted to know?

[Amity]

Do it for a living.

[nothing2lose]

Have spent much of the past 10 years representing myself.

Happy to help in any way I can.

n2l

[nothing2lose]

Do it for a living.

You must be a glutton for punishment :P

For me it's just a hobby...

[Jennie13]

just subbing, like to see whats written hope that okay?

[Gigi]

i'm just at the start of one. about to find out my options.

[Inanna]

What is it you want to know Gigi?

[Gigi]

just anything to help avoid me making mistakes.

things to look out for, that first timers miss

i seem to learn by doing, and this is one thing i DON"T want to find out afterwards, that i did it all wrong (and how i'd do it better next time). i want to be prepared.

[Fleur]

Ok, so here's my thoughts although as I said mine was a while ago now, someone can set me straight if it's changed since.

My first suggestion would be to work out what really matters to you.
Parenting orders cover any aspect of parenting. So obviously that is contact (visitation), how often etc.
Special days like Mothers day, Fathers day - for eg, if Fathers Day falls on your weekend he gets the day, or a helf day, that kind of thing.
Birthdays & Christmas.
Sharing of information like school reports & doctors visits.

I think that's all we had in ours really.
I *think* you can add more or less what you want although i would be wary of putting too much 'trivial' stuff in. Keep it to what really matters to you.
And on what does matter, be very clear & firm.

If you can both come to an agreement you will hopefully be able to skip all the mediation etc.
Be prepared to give a bit to get a bit -We went through 10 months of mediation before a hearing and they will like you to compromise if possible.

Also keep in mind it's always about what is best for the child, if you disagree on something be prepared to show why that's not the best option for her.

One other thought - wrt contact, it's up to you how rigid the guidelines are that you put in place, the very best separated couples can be flexible with eachother, however this is often not the case - certainly wasn't with us, and it suited us to have very strict orders in place wrt visits, down to how long we had to wait if he was late picking her up (30 min I think, if he hadn't let us know beforehand).
So if you can keep it friendly & flexi that's great but if you suspect you might run into problems, best to head them off early IMO.

Hope that makes sense & is of some help.
Best of luck

[Gigi]

thank you so much Fleur, what you've written has given me alot to think about, i really appreciate hearing your two cents, it has helped alot. thanks again!

[*Sparklez*]

Another whom has been through this more than once and just recently

Fleur gave you some great tips!!
Also you have to work out a plan that will also not disrupt your childrens lifestyle and environment.
Normally a family report is ordered when doing these cases where both parties are not willing to come to the table and this person will assess each and every aspect of you your partner/ex and also your Childs communication, body language etc everything and more this often gives a judge if taken that far more of an inlook into what situation your child is best to thrive and be stable in..
Mediation is also a common fact these days as when you decide on certain things it's done face to face with lawyers and a court appointed mediator to help come to an arrangement you are all happy with in my case in the first occasion nearly ended in a brawl

When going this road you have to be very well equipped with the knowledge of what you want to achieve and be certain you achieve your outcome.. It's a very long process mine in the first instance took 15 months and it is a very straining period emotionally and physically also you must be prepared for anything and everything.
The courts will always look out for the best interest of the child or children and the result isn't taken lightly.
Best thing you can do is get equipped with a lawyer even if not in court they will be your legal go to and also the one to set the notions