End of April boy - hold back or send to school?

[LoveKnowsNoBounds]

We had always thought that we would hold DS back as many people we know seem to do that to give their child a better opportunity at school socially and for his education.

Now I'm not so sure. He is my first so I have no idea what to expect. I think he is above average. He talks very well and has a huge vocabulary. He has memorized most of his books. He can't write his name but is starting to trace. He makes friends fairly easily from what i can see.

A relative held her son back using advice given to her and her son is older than all of the kids and doesn't want to play with them because he says they are babyish? I don't want him to fall behind the pack and blame me later. So confused!

[Miss.September]

You could send him to school and see how he goes? If you find him struggling, maybe give him two years in prep?

FWIW - My brother was in the same boat and mum did send him to school. He struggled right through to yr 12. A teacher told mum when B was in year 8, that he would have been greatly benefited by staying back for that extra time. But I don't know where he was at developmentally before mum sent him to school. Good luck

[~Kim~]

I don't have a boy, but DD is 9th May so I can understand your confusion. It took up the better part of last year for me.

We had an interview at a private school, which I didn't realise was a readiness assessment for Darcy as her birthday is late. She had to do a puzzle and some drawing. When we got there they told us a place was not guaranteed. When she did their 'IQ test' puzzle before the principal had even sat back at her desk and then did a drawing that surpassed some of the 2nd grade drawings on the wall outside they offered her a place on the spot. But to me that wasn't testing her. She loves to do those things.
In the end I have held DD back and she will start school next year. She's social and bright (and is as tall as a 7yo lol).

This was for a few reasons;
Some parents are holding their January and February babies back, so potentially Darcy who is still only four could have been starting school with kids who are already 6, and that age gap was far too large for my liking.
I have never heard of a child being disadvantaged by being sent later.
Social skills. Even though DD's are good she is very shy with some activities, I didn't want that to be detrimental at school for her.
12 months more of 'play' cannot be bad for her.

I had a meeting with her preschool teachers who are huge advocates of play based learning (as am I) and we discussed all of the above.
I also spoke to some of the other parents at preschool about their decisions. Apart from one ill informed and rather...hmmm can't think of a PC word to write here....mother there were all positive stories about real social readiness and the difference over the 12months in the child's confidence levels.

At the same time I know another mum who sent her July baby to school at 4 1/2 because according to her all the kids she knew that had been held back were 'precocious'. But that said I take that with a grain of salt as her own two are fairly hard to take.

I went early and excelled at school itself but was extrodinarily shy and I can't bare the thought of that life for my child.

hun. I know that isn't a definitive response but just thought I'd share my experience.

[Reyna]

I think that kids ages are set for school grades for a very good reason, and unless there are good reasons to hold a child back (or advance them, for that matter), then they should be sent to school when they are at the correct age.

But that's just me!

[Lisa]

I was in the same boat as you with my DS1. I really should have held him back but he was begging to start school. He struggled the entire way and ended up repeating Yr 5 where he then started to fit in with the others.
I agree to seeing how he goes. Does the school you're planning to send him to offer introduction days? When my older kids started school they would go for 1/2 a day once a week to get them prepared for school and for the teachers to see where they fit.

[KimB]

With my eldest DD she started school at 4 but turned 5 only a few weeks later. We have had to repeat her in Year 9 and she is now doing heaps better. My boys didn't start until they were turning 6 and they have had no troubles what so ever. My DD2 turns 5 next January and I will be asking her preschool teachers if she is ready. If they decide not then I will hold her back as well. I have no issues with school starting age but I do go on what my child is capable of handling.

[diannescruffy]

It really does depend on the child. My DS#2 is mid April and I ended up putting him in two years of kinda and it was the best thing for him. How did he go at kinda?

Regards,
Dianne

[Taurean]

I'm an end of April baby and coped fine The only downfall, which had nothing to do with schooling, was that most of my friends turned 18 in our final year of high school so I wasn't 'leagally' allowed to join them at the nightclubs...not that it stopped me

PS: one of my close friends was an end of May baby and she got one of the highest scores at our school. She went on to do extremely well at uni and has been working in her dream job since finishing - she's a vet

[Pretty Butterfly]

I agree with everything Kim has said.

If the "age" for kindy is to turn 6 within that year, anything under 5 is too young for my liking. You have 4.3 yr olds with 6 yr olds.

It also means that if your child plays sport, they play in the group yonger than them, not their school friends, and that can be VERY hard for them. (most go by birth year now, not age, around here anyway)

Also if they leave home after high school, they are potentially moving out, fending for themselves and starting work/uni at only 17... not someting i"m too keen on.

I had a school teacher direct me to a massive study done at a university once... it showed over 80% of teachers would support NEVER letting too young kids start school... they find it way too demanding when they aren't socially/smart ready, and very rarley are younger kids both.

My kids preschool teacher said they are telling parents to try and use this question....... What would your child do if it came to lunch time and they had no lunch?? (bearing in mind new school, kids and teachers)

Would your child cry, go without, or go tell a teacher??.. If your child would do one of the first 2, (mine would!) they are not ready to be that resposible or mature.

I find another year of 4 days of preschool is perfect for my "close to start of year" babies....

But like they say, everyone is different!!!!

[Olive]

DD2 is a mid feb baby and wont go to school until she 5 going on 6

[sangie]

DD is mid May and she will be starting school when she is 5 (turning 6 in May). She is a bright kid with amazing vocabulary but socially I think the extra year will benefit her confidence. And I want her home longer lol!

[RhiChiChi]

You could send him to school and see how he goes? If you find him struggling, maybe give him two years in prep?

FWIW - My brother was in the same boat and mum did send him to school. He struggled right through to yr 12. A teacher told mum when B was in year 8, that he would have been greatly benefited by staying back for that extra time. But I don't know where he was at developmentally before mum sent him to school. Good luck

I was sent to school at 4.5 yo & IMO it was too young - socially immature and struggled throughout school. Sounds like your son however would cope well? Don't worry about him not being able to write his name yet - my sister is a primary school teacher and some can, some can't but she says that is what they are there for

[ubba82]

Personally i would hold him back. While he may be socially ready now, in a couple of years he may struggle. Its easier and much more fun to do 2 years of kinder than repeat a year at school. All your friends go up and you have to make new friends with the younger kids kwim?

[alioops]

DD1 is an end of April baby. She starts school in the mid year intake so will do 6 terms of reception (prep, kinder). She starts preschool next week.

[Phteven]

If he's school ready and he wants to go I would send him. IMO there's no point in holding back a child unless they are demonstrably not ready.
Dino starts school this year at 4 going on 5. I asked his pre-school teachers if I should hold him back and they pretty much laughed at the idea - he's bright and he's emotionally and socially ready so holding him back wouldn't benefit him in any way.
I kind of feel sorry for the old kids in the class, it must be a bit of a blow to the ego to be in a room with children over a year younger who are at the same level as you and at the other end of school to be pretty much an adult and stuck in a routine designed for children seems a little unfair too.

[Beach Mama]

It's a really tough one hun, has he been going to kinder/child care? How does he cope with those? The jump to school is quite a bit one and the expectations teachers place on Preps depending on the school are quite big (sitting still, hands up, listening, writing etc, conforming etc) and I am a teacher so I know how concerning it is. I'm kind of glad Iz missed the cut off by being a May baby actually but it's hard to say without knowing your child who you know best. Maybe talk to the school - ask them what sorts of things they are specifically looking for in school readiness, and do a bit of reading yourself, there are some wonderful blog posts about school readiness around, will hunt them down for you if I can find them, I had a few on my FB page. Good luck hun it's a tough one.

[Pretty Butterfly]

I kind of feel sorry for the old kids in the class, it must be a bit of a blow to the ego to be in a room with children over a year younger who are at the same level as you and at the other end of school to be pretty much an adult and stuck in a routine designed for children seems a little unfair too.

Can I ask if your in NSW babe??
Up here, the "young" ones are the odd ones out, you would be lucky to find 3-4 young ones in a kindy year here.. they have been discouraging young starters for years.
And have cracked down on repeating them before high school too... the diffence in age once at high school can be very obvious. You can have 11 yr olds in with the 13/14 yr olds.

In my town, or the school my kids go to, they should be able to recognise their name and write it. Our preschool have that as part of their before school program, because the school expect it.
They certainly dont dumb down the classes for littlies. They are to turn 6 here in kindy, and are treated as such. My 4.5 yr old would def not cope!! He is very bright, but all the kids, and 5 full days, would do him in...

But that could just be our school and town??
I know its different state to state, and school to school.
You would be hard pressed to get a young one into the kids catholic school here, although I know the public schools dont have a problem with it.

One has just started "testing" for anyone under 5, its a private school my sis was thinking of using. Its the first up here to do it I believe? But I hear its quite common??

OP, maybe ask the school what they think? It may not even be an option? Or they may have a large number of young ones, and he might be able to start now, no worries!!

[diannescruffy]

Just saw on your sig that your DS is turning 4 this year so is he going to kindy? He could always do 2yrs if he is not ready for school next year.

Regards,
Dianne