Losing contact after a loved ones passing?

[ladybird11]

Just wondering if I'm making something out of nothing here .

Since my mum died last April I've noticed a big decline in 'acknowledgement' from family.

Previously family on both my dad's and mum's side would send birthday cards on each and every one of my birthdays and that of the kids birthdays too....

I just had my birthday last Friday and not one person sent a card - not one person acknowledged my birthday. Its DD's birthday tomorrow, and sure people may have posted a card for her today forgetting of the public holiday, but I checked the letter box today and again, no one has acknowledged her birthday either (yet ).

If it wasn't for BB and FB (and of course DH) it would have been 'just another day'.

The only thing I can relate this too is the passing of my mum.

So did / has anyone else noticed a difference in family relations after the passing of a loved one??

P.S - I don't want this to come across as a poor me thread or looking for sympathy - I'm over the whole birthday card thing , although I do still harbour a bit of disappointment for DD, but I dare say she won't notice the lack of cards!

[RainbowBrite]

I am so sorry for the loss of your mum
Happy birthday for last Friday.
It is sad when things change like that...maybe people don't know what to say, I know they don't want to say the wrong thing so they don't say anything.
Could you ring them and in passing mention your DD birthday?
The opposite happened to us. My XH passed 4 mths ago and our 4 children now have their grandparents and uncle and aunt and cousin back in there life (his side).
It is sad that it took a tragedy to bring every one back together.

[briggsy's girl]

Is it possible mum was everyones "calendar"? I know if I don't remind my brother of birthdays outside his immediate family, they wouldn't be acknowledged at all...

[meow]

Is it possible mum was everyones "calendar"?

Yep- I think this too.

I'm so sorry you lost your mum

My relationships with my grandparents declined a bit after my mum died as they don't call me and I don't call them. Mum kept us in better contact. My mum's mum started off by calling my older sister every sunday like she used to call my mum then that stopped. It was weird anyway though, as though my sister was mum's replacement.

[Queen]

Sorry for the loss of your Mum and Happy Birthday for last week (and for DD tomorrow )

I have noticed a difference in our family relationships, since my grandparents passed, and its sad. We used to all get together for Chrissy etc but now we do our own thing, which is nice, but sad.
Its not nothing, I hope something changes hun xo

[ladybird11]

Is it possible mum was everyones "calendar"? I know if I don't remind my brother of birthdays outside his immediate family, they wouldn't be acknowledged at all...

I can't rule out that she wasn't the calendar of the family, I know she certainly was for my dad and brother, but the aunts and uncles she never really spoke to too much - she was always shy on the phone, or rather, too busy to stop and chat to most people...

[briggsy's girl]

it's crap when all you want when someone passes is to actually reconnect and reinforce relationships with others, to support (and be supported) - and they don't feel the same.

[~Lashes~]

Happy birthday to you and your DD!
that happened to my mums side of the family when grandma died, everyone kind of just went there own way, and her relationship with her sisters and dad went pear shaped to say the least. df's family use to have big family do's untill his grampa passed, now they barely see or speak to each other, in the 6 years we have been together he has seen one uncle and his dad was one of 13. i guess some family dont see it as a big thing to keep contact up after a death, as sad as it is.