So we just saw the lady who was recomended to me by the doula college. she is the only trainee doula in our area and she is so so lovely.
She doesnt have any kids of her own and this would be her first birth.
Dh is a bit worried about having someone who has basically only done 12 weeks of the doula course and has no hands on experience.
We cant really afford to have a qualified doula.
Being a doula isnt a job she has always wanted to do, she kind of stumbled in to it when her cousin was having a baby. but she seems really knowledgable and we talked for three hours, she seems to be on the same page as me with my birth plan and had some good ideas. I rang the college after seeing her and they said she comes highly recomended.
Dh thought she came across as nervous but really nice.
It really depends on what your expectations are. Do you value experience highly, or are you just wanting another person there to be your voice? If experience is crucial for you, then probably not. But if you just want a voice, and to give someone experience... and benefit from the planning process you have with a doula before the birth, then go for it.
thats what i thought, everyone has to start some where and i thought she seems quite confident.
I really just want some one who can suggest things to try during the labour to get me through and give me encouragment, i feel DH is just too emotionally involved and too worried about the whole thing to think of things in the moment and i wanted a doula who could be that voice of reason and clarity.
But also another reason was for DH to have someone there to tell him that everythings going right and this is normal and make him feel more confident and supported, but i dont think she is going to make him feel like that. His words exactly were ''i have more experience with birth than her''. i know hes just nervous but i dont know what to tell him.
Ive tried explaining that she isnt there for anything medical atall, just for support and encouragment for both of us. he says if im happy, hes happy....but i dont know!?
I think it is critical that you are comfortable with her but also that your Dh is - after all she is there for you both and even though you are the one gicing birth it is his experience too iykwim???
maybe you need to meet with her again - she sounds lovely and maybe you would both be more comfortable with her after going thru the planning exp etc, but i fo think you both need to trust her etc.
on what basis iis she 'highly recommended'? (iuf she hasnt attended any yet - who recommends and why?)
the director of the australian doula college said she was great and talked very highly of her. she is the one who said she was 'highly recomended'
its so important to me that DH feels well supported this time. i want him to enjoy this birth and feel confident and able to support me with confidence.
Don't they go to births with other doulas before starting by themselves? I wouldn't want someone who hasn't been to a birth or given birth trying to suggest positions and things. When I'm in labourland I need someone I can 100% trust and that means having experience. Your DH is right - he has more experience than she does.
People have to start somewhere. I'd just feel more comfortable if she was learning with someone first.
On the other hand, she's not there to replace the medicos. I had an IM so no experience with doulas. Just make sure she's sticking to her brief - encouraging, helping you stay focussed and not getting in the way of things.
She probably was nervous, but i think that's expected. What are your reasons for wanting a doula? This will make a big difference to whether she is appropriate or not.
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Should I use this Doula....?
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