{Vent} I just want a VBA2C - so cut the negativity OB

[ladybird11]

"Yes, of course you can have a VBAC my dear, you'll have to progress in certain time frames, but I see no issues with that happening"....

Fast forward four weeks:

"Yes dear, you can have a VBAC, first sign of a contraction, call the hospital, tell them you've had two c/sections previously and head straight in - otherwise you could have a dead baby on your hands"

Fast forward another four weeks to yesterdays appointment that left me in tears:

"Dear, each time you come in you keep asking for more when in fact you are lucky I'm allowing you to even attempt a VBA2C. NO, you can't have water - not in the bath or the shower. Reason being we'll need to have you in theatre within 4 minutes and getting you out of the tub will increase that time". (Gee, thanks for the confidence). "But it is an out of the ordinary procedure and everyone, OB's and midwifes, will be worried and scared," (righto, so I suffer for your lack of knowledge?).

I'd had all these visions of a peaceful, calming environment, possibly in a bath tub surrounded by my DH, doula and student midwife. Now I have the horrible thought of a brightly lit room,an ugly hospital gown, with an OB peaking through the door every 5 mins insisting I hurry up 'or else' - and I'm honestly feeling defeated. And I keep being reminded "dear, it depends on the OB on the day, they could override anything I say" - and I hate having things 'up in the air' - I want to know guidelines, things I can and can't do, things I can and can't have - surely its written in black and white somewhere? Yes, I've seen some protocols for my State - but they contradict what my OB is insisting.

Again, I know about the scare tactics OB's use, but I'm not feeling 'up to' the fight. I recall leaving the appointment, my student midwifes arm around me, tears down my face, muttering the words 'no wonder so many go underground and have homebirths' - a few ladies looked toward me mortified as they awaited their appointments.

Even my DH didn't know the risks of another c/section as opposed to a VBA2C - funnily the OB's rarely mention those figures huh?

Thanks for reading.

[beckoes]

that sucks....what a jerk, way to fill you with confidence!! hope you can get back into a posotive mindframe and get the VBA2C you want! hugs

[MrsBexie]

Aww sweets!
Don't let him defeat you!! They can't stop you from getting in the shower unless you are being monitored and you can even refuse that if the heart rate is checked with a Doppler regularily and everything is ok.

You can do this!! You can have the vbac2 you want, it isnt going to be that scary image of hospital gowns, bright lights etc... You are going to have An amazing, vbac2!!! Just don't give up, don't let him Bully you into a birth that you don't want!

If you can't stand strong, get your support people to for you!
Xxx

[*Sparklez*]

What an a**hole!!
I agree if this is something you really want then you tell them
It's your body and baby
Ive never had a c/s but I think you deserve the right to try what ever you like without being looked down on..
Stupid people if your baby was at risk then they should never got your hopes up
Bloody bullies!!!

[Shanti]

Omg he sounds like a pig!

I'm so sorry u have to go through so much stress with it all. When are you due.?

[Arimeh]

And this is what frustrates me most about OB's. They act so bloody supportive and then take that support away and offer useless threats instead. FFS a vba2c is safe. It has risks yes, but less than another section.

Don't worry too much about you birthing with bright lights, I'm sure that your student midwife will make the environment perfect for you. And don't forget, if the midwives are supportive at the hospital, they are the ones that will most likely with you throughout your labour, not the OB. After all, they will be too busy scaring other people or golfing or something hehe.

And if all else fails, fly to tassie, stay with me and go to the birth centre

[Jakabella]

Oh Hun im sorry you are going through this! Do what feels right in your heart and Im keeping my fingers crossed that you will get your VBA2C!

I wish that other mums had supportive Obs like I have been lucky to find (and very lucky in a small town!!) that are giving me the chance to try and giving me the good odds!

I will be thinking of you! xox

[black_rose]

Stay at home as long as you are comfortable especially if you can have the support network there with you. Head in once the contractions have settled in, you will have a better chance of getting your vbac rather than going in once you have your first contraction as then they will likely want to intervene. You should only need to be monitored once an hour, so plenty off opportunity for showers.

Hope it all works out for you.

[~Minny~]

Like the others have suggested stay at home as long as you can. They cant make you do anything you dont want to!

I will have my fingers crossed for you!

You CAN do this!

[Tuesday's Child]

Leesa. Your OB sounds like a *****. Which hospital are you going to? (If you don't mind me asking).

[luna moth]

Does he seriously call you dear? That alone is enough to warrant a kick in the onion bag, let alone all the other BS.

Take waht he says, and use it to add to your birthing power.

[Yeddi]

In black and white, your OB can't do anything to you without YOUR consent. That's black and white. Your body would birth this baby even if he forbid it to, so it's got nothing to do with him ALLOWING you to or not.

I would be pointing out that recent studies have shown that a VBAC2 is no riskier than a VBAC. 74% of women who try for a VBAC are successful, 71% of those who try for a VBAC2 are successful, and these stats are on par with first time mothers. I would also be pointing out that artificial rupture of the membranes has a 2.5% chance of cord prolapse but that doesn't stop them from doing it, so a 0.7% chance of rupture shouldn't stop you from having a VBAC. Also of the main study on rupture, of the 70 women in that study only 25% were VBAC's, the other 75% had never had a c-section, it was induction and ARM when baby was too high that is the biggest risk to rupture not an old scar. Perhaps he needs to catch up on his reading! You do NOT have to be continuously monitored if you don't want to, so should have no issues with getting into the shower if you ask for intermittent monitoring, and there would be no more delay getting you on a gurney from the shower than it would to get you onto a bed from a birthing ball etc, unless he expects you to give birth spending the entire time lying on your back in bed, to which this is all about his convenience and not what is best for you or the baby. You can ask whether the delivery suit as a tellemetric monitor (which are waterproof) so you can move around even if you are being continuously monitored. And you do not HAVE to progress at a certain rate - you are not a battery hen who must adhere to some MAN's idea of dilation (which by the way has been shown as unrealistic by a number of studies).

Write everything you want down, so it's there in black and white so you don't have to find the words when your busy having a baby. If this is something you really want you will need to find the strength to fight for it because if you don't you wont get it - it's really that simple. Decide what you want and what you can live with. Better being tired from fighting than being depressed because of regret.

[Fleur]

Oh Leesa what an knOB.

You know better than that rubbish he is giving you.
It's a shame, because wouldn't it be nice if you could go to these 'professionals' who are supposed to know everything & be able to help you, inform you & empower you - and actually GET all that from them (yeah, right ) - instead of being given a load of BS negativity & doubt.
Be nice if you could get ALL the info, factual stuff, and a nice unbiased discussion to help you make a decision.
I am constantly amazed, the more I read, the more I hear, how often things are said which is just plain wrong, how often one Ob's opinion is different to another's - they can't all be right in their scaremongering. How often the risks of repeat CS aren't put on the table along with the risks of VBAC.

Build your support team with your DH & student midwife, do your own research, decide for yourself how you will do it and be strong.


ETA sorry for the rant

[Heaven]

leesa, how frustrating and upsetting.

[*Infinity*]

Does he seriously call you dear? That alone is enough to warrant a kick in the onion bag, let alone all the other BS.

Agreed. I needed a bucket reading all those 'dears' in there.

Hun, you know its all crapola. You know you don't have to do anything you don't want and they cannot do things without your consent.

As for guidelines......honey, write your own. Ask for the hospital policy on VBAC and work out what you want to negotiate on or just flat out refuse. Stay at home as long as you can. Make sure your support people are on the same page and prepare them to kick people out of the room if they are not abiding by YOUR birth plan.

This should not be a fight. That's why I chose to plan a homebirth for #2 (which of course never eventuated as you know) but I wanted my support people to listen to ME. To respect ME and MY wishes. Not bully me, place doubts in my mind and pull out the dead baby card.

I can't recall which hossy you're going to, have you contacted the CARES girls for some more support?

Hugs.

[Trillian]

Patriarchal asshat! Leesa, what do you want to do? That's the most important thing to remember. Don't let that bull**** get to you because what it comes down to is that they can do nothing to you without your consent. You are well read and you are informed - you know what you are doing and what the 'risks' are and this is just them not being bothered to treat you as a human being. And truthfully, the other obs that you could probably get are going to spend very little time with you during your labour anyway so its up to you and the midwives and both you and they are smart enough to know when to call it quits if you need to.

Good luck and don't let it bother you for another moment

[ladybird11]

Tuesdays Child - the WCH. They were brilliant when I had DD, but I got less 'love' at the LMH when I asked for a VBA2C.

Trill - I guess the main thing is that I only would opt for a c/s in the event it is needed, not just because an OB is anxious / unsure etc. I wish I could get a midwifes perspective on this, but I can't get past seeing the OB. I agree, as does DH, that the m/w will be there assisting us the majority of the time, but they are under the OB's guidance, aren't they?

Yeah, he does use the word 'dear' often, I don't mind it usually, but when he 'clash' I find use of the word quite condescending.

Infinity - have you ever requested a hossy's policy on something? Is it just a matter of calling someone, or emailing or submitting a freedom of information request? I will be calling them tomorrow!! And yep, I've had a little bit to do with CARES too.

Yeddi - thank you so much for the stats, just what I was seeking clarification of (in my mind). Thanks hun!!!

Arimehs Eden - I recall even muttering about flying down to Tassie to your birth centre too as I walked out of the appt - truly, I did!!!

Thank you all so so much for your advice and support. Each and every one of you have given me hints and tips and a few things to follow up too!

xoxox

[*Infinity*]

I asked a few different people at the hossy about their VBAC policy prior to my decision to plan for a homebirth and got various responses but it was all fairly consistent. I asked an OB that I saw in their clinics. I asked to speak to the CNC (Clinical Nurse Coordinator) of the antenatal/women's health clinic and also the CNC of their birthing/labour ward. I also had a chat to the middies in the group practice program that I was able to go through with DS who had a good insight into things.

If I were you I would ring and ask to speak to the midwifery group practice coordinator where you plan to birth and specifically ask them the conditions that are placed on VBAC. They may let you see a copy of a policy but probably not. Although if you wanted to pursue it enough I don't see why they should deny a consumer of their service key information. You'll be able to get their perspective on things like you want & in my experience the group practice midwives are geared more to support these things. Can't hurt to have a chat.

Specifically ask them about continous monitoring, availability of water/shower/bath etc., IV insertion (i.e. when they want it in), any time limits placed on your labour and each stage etc. Typically those are the things that they'll push with a VBAC.

Have you considered hiring an independent midwife who will come to hospital with you? Some of them are happy to support you in the hospital enviroment. Just a thought?

Good luck hun.