Reply With QuoteIt's not weird, you're just doing what works for you.
Registered User
Is this weird!?
Thought I'd get some opinions:
Is it weird that DH and I tend to have seperate holidays?
As in, this year, coming up in March, I'm likelt to go to Torquay with DS and DD, and he will go on a motorbike holiday for a week in Tassie?
November 2009 I went to Qld with DS and DH stayed home.
Mind you, QLD weather and DH don't get along, and whilst I love the beach, he hates it.
We had friends have a crack at us about having sperate holidays, but it just seems logical to us.
Why force him to go to the beach and HATE his time off, when he can go zooming around the place on his Motorbike and have some fun!
I dunno, maybe we ARE weird, we just don't see the need in making one of us NOT enjoy a holiday when we can both go where we want, and all come home well rested and happy...
Registered User
It's not weird, you're just doing what works for you.
BellyBelly Member
hey if it works for you go for it.
who cares what otehrs say.
i know id rather be off motorbiking than camping some holidays.
my only concern is do u get a time to recharge YOUR batteries?? thats teh only question lol
and do the kids feel they are missing out with dad not being there?
Registered User
Personally, I would find it a little weird - family holidays bring back so many wonderful memories - all of us together doing something, playing board games if it was raining or cards or whatever...
Not weird at all. Our last holiday.. Andrew went to Snake Valley. I continued onto Melbourne via Bus. The kids stayed home with Mum
Andrew going to Avalon in March and I am staying home with the kids cause they'll be in school and Andrew will be gone for 8 days.
Registered User
I have friends that do this and it works for them. I do sometimes go on breaks alone too, however, we also have family holidays where we do things together which I think is important for the kids.
Having said that, when it comes time to take the kids camping DP will be taking them by himself
Moderator
I wish I could get DH to want more seperate holidays. There are places/events he wants to go to, but I just don't (for various reaons). I an happy for him to go and leave me at home, but he just wont stop bugging me that he wants to do the family thing.
I think family holidays should be something everyone wants to go on and that it is ok for one partner to go off on their own holidays. So no, not weird.
Registered User
I don't think it's weird, I believe that you should do what works for you. Whatever makes you happy.
Registered User
Well... that's not why you're weird..
At first I thought 'mm maybe that would seem a little odd' but then I realised that I've done this too (and would still do this).
I've taken holidays to go up to Queensland to see my Dad and DH has stayed at home - either because we can't afford for us both to go or because the purpose of the trip is for me to see my family and DH didn't see the point in just 'tagging along'.
Also, I would encourage him to go on a trip with some mates to a convention without me if he wanted to go (he hasn't yet, but talks about it all the time). I wouldn't be interested in going and why 'tag along'?? You'd just get in the way of the adventure - and sometimes time apart is well spent! Makes you realise some of the specialness about your partner and why you love them.
Has someone made you feel weird about it??
Registered User
We had family holidays like that when I was younger too, how great are they!!
That said, we do lots of things together all year round as DH can be a little flexible with his hours (unlike when I was little and my Dad couldn't)
I agree, when we have things we all want to do together, thats what we'll do, but it just doesn't seem like a holiday (or any kind of fun) if one of us wishes we were elsewhere (not alone, just not where we are!)
Well... that's not why you're weird..yeah I know Hun...there are SOOOO many more reasons!!
But yeah, we had a couple of sets of friends (sets of friends?! WTF!), a couple of couples (not much better than sets of friends as a description)....
SOME OF OUR FRIENDS (there..that makes more sense), have seemed quite surprised that we would go our seperate ways.
Mind you, these are friends who can't understand it when DH gets home from work and I continue to look after the kids, and cook tea, and do the housework etc....our division of labour in our house seems to be strange to some people
DH works, I don't, I therefore do the housework, cook, and look after the kids....and don't handball the kids and cooking to DH as soon as he walks in the door, unlike some of our friends.
Makes sense to me!
OOH yeah and as for recharging my batteries, I prefer to have the kids around anyway...I actually don't relax or enjoy myself when they are not with me!
Registered User
Hey if it makes sense to you guys and it works for you then whats the problem!! As a PP mentioned, so long as no one feels they are missing out on time with other family members whats the harm
BellyBelly Life Subscriber
Well... that's not why you're weird..
What ever works for you BW. It just sucks that you start questioning your families ways based on others opinions.
It's the same when I go to places that DP doesn't want to go to. I have more fun without having to worrying if he is having a fun time or not.
Registered User
nah not weird IMO. only 'cause we have done it too. well actually it's usually me skivving off lol! i go up to QLD fairly often to visit family. i bring the kid(s) with me though...so mebbe not so much of a holiday lol. that said, 'cause i love holidays so much i would totally crack it if DH got to go on a a holiday without me bahahahaha! (although he does get to travel O/S alot without me...so to me that is a holiday IYKWIM)
but i do recommend family holidays! they are sooo worth it! we have had a fabulous time on the two (yes, only 2 in the last 10 years) that we have done. one was down to tassie for a road trip and the other was a road trip when Marta was 5 weeks old as i "needed" see some sun and surf so we drove to wollongong from melbourne lol.
Registered User
A work colleague of mine has an agreement with his wife whereby they each have a few days holiday with friends on their own to recharge. He goes on a boys holiday skiing and she does a beach holiday with the girls, whilst the other stays at home with the kids. I love this idea! I think its really important that parents get a bit of 'me time' and also for the kids to have quality time with one of the parents.
Is this weird? I think each family has to do what works for them, but I think family holidays are very important as a lot of childhood memories stem from family holidays. How often do you guys do any holidays together? If the answer is never, then I think yes it is weird. From your thread it sounds like your husband is the one that has a 'holiday' whilst you are always looking after the kids.
Registered User
I dont think its weird at all. Im a travel agent and I reckon if I weighed it up, we get just as many people coming in and asking for a holiday with friends etc as we do familys and couples. Im not talking single people either, im talking people that have a DH and 3 kids at home and go on a girls or boys trip every year etc.
Registered User
Nope, not strange, my DP is into moto x and he has his boys weekends. I could go and take DS if I wanted, but really, its his thing and something he does with his mates.
If he has lots of work on and I dont have too much, I will often take DS for a couple of days and go to melbourne to visit the relos. We do lots of stuff together, but a break is good for all.
Moderator
I don't think the question should be is it weird - it is whatever works for you!! It might not be for some people but hey if you guys enjoy it then that's the main thing!
Registered User
I think it's great if it works for you. I think dh and I would miss each other and he'd miss DS like crazy if we took separate holidays. Mind you I think my parents used to take some trips alone, mum would take us camping if dad couldn't come and I know my dad used to take a trip with a few other men every year for a while there. Having said that we took loads of holidays as a family, ohhh the memories
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