Tandem Feeding Experiences

[Heaven]

Well, DD is still feeding twice a day, before nap and before bed. I never 'planned' to tandem feed. I was just going with the flow and seeing what happened with DD's feeding when I got pregnant. I actually didn't want her to wean, I felt she was too young when I first got pregnant. But I thought she might not like the changes in my milk, etc. Hasn't been a problem though! So it seems I will be tandem feeding! I don't mind. Feeding DD is no hassle with just the two feeds a day that calm her down before bed. It's actually a really nice time for us

I'm just wondering what will happen though. I know about feeding the baby first etc etc, I'm more wondering about how DD will react and looking for others to share what happened with them.

I'm a little worried DD won't like me feeding the baby and get jealous. We have been talking about the baby coming and that the baby will have booby too. When I ask her if she'll share booby with the baby she says 'Yes!' and tells me the baby will drink booby milk, etc. But not sure how it will really go when she sees it happening!

I'd like to keep it at the 2 feeds a day and not increase it. Will she want more when I suddenly have more milk again? Or because she see's the baby feeding all the time? I don't want her to feel rejected that I don't want to feed her more. Any tips?

Umm...now I can't think of my other questions! Baby brain! I guess I'd just like to know what the first days of tandem feeding were like for you and what your toddlers reaction was?? Positive and negative things and how you dealt with the negative stuff.

Thank you!!

[HotI]

No personal experience but this might be helpful Australian Breastfeeding Association - Breastfeeding Through Pregnancy and Beyond

[Arcadia]

Subbing for info too. We're in exactly the same boat, although DD does point to the left boob and say "baby boobie" and then points to the right and says "lou lou boobie!"

I think I will easily be able to distract DD away from having more feeds, but I do worry about how I'll go putting DD to bed if the baby needs a feed...one on each boob I suppose!

Wow! Heaven, you're so close now. Feels like only yesterday I read your P.A.

[Panda74]

I think i have the most boob obsessed toddler ever and I believe we muddled through the first few months of tandem feeding without scarring anyone (I hope).

I found the first couple of weeks a bit tricky and at times stressful. While DS didn't really show signs of jealousy, me bringing a baby home was definitely strange for him, I could see that he was uncertain about things and trying to process what was going on and..for reassurance needed extra booby! And yeah he noticed there was a lot of milk and it was tasty again so there was no saying no to him. So whilst I was trying to get the hang of breastfeeding a newborn again I had my big boy climbing all over us. We did feed at the same time sometimes just to keep the peace but DS2 would often fall off the boob (or maybe 'accidentally on purpose' get pushed off) so it wasn't very practical. DS did stop insisting on feeding at the same time eventually (after a few weeks I think), he realised that it was just easier to wait. Other times I said no - this was hard. DS would get very anxious and I got quite stressed because I was unable to hug him when I wanted to. My husband and Mum helped out in the first few days by distracting DS when I was feeding and by giving him extra love and attention. I was apprehensive about my husband goiing back to work and it being just us 3 all day every day but it worked out ok..DS2 was sleepy for a few weeks so I actually still had a lot of time with DS during that adjustment period.

Gotta go unfortunately but I think your DD will surprise you - just give her lots and lots of cuddles whenever your hands are free!

[Shanti]

No personal experience but this might be helpful Australian Breastfeeding Association - Breastfeeding Through Pregnancy and Beyond

Hi Heaven,
I have that booklet from the ABA that is titled "Breastfeeding Through Pregnancy and Beyond" ....want me to post it your way? You can borrow it
I can't believe how close your due date has come around!!!

[StrawberryMumma]

Hey Heaven!

I've had 2 veerrrrryyy different tandem feeding experiences!

Firstly, I fed my DD and DS who were 19 months apart. My DD loved boobies and sometimes I fed them at the same time, sometimes not. She didn't take that well to waiting for the baby to finish his feed, THEN having her turn so she would get a bit grumpy sometimes. Other times she was ok with everything..watching the baby feed etc and often they'd hold hands or she would stroke him if they were being fed together.
She did increase the amount of feeds she was having (I wouldn't dare tell how often she fed at times!!! haha) mainly because I was always feeding the baby so boobies were always out on display and I think the temptation was just too great!

I then fell pregnant with our third so my other experience was tandem feeding my 2 boys (Who were also 19 months apart..by chance!). This was a very different experience. Our DS has never really increased his feeds and hasn't had any jealously either. He isn't worried by anythng. BUT I have rarely breastfed them at the same time, so I do wonder if this has had an impact and made him more cruisy with sharing (as in, he sees the baby feeding as something completely separate from his breastfeeding relationship with me so he doesn't get get jealous perhaps?). aargghh that probably makes no sense!

Anyway, I think tandem feeding has been one of the most enjoyable/special things that I have ever done TBH! The kids do have this special/unique little bond outside of their normal bro and sis bond! It makes me feel great that I have been able to nurture them in such a special way!

I think (and I know this is going to sounds soooo obvious) but do keep remembering that baby is number one and make a big effort to make sure they are getting even more than what they want. It can be very difficult to say no to a very demanding toddler sometimes!! Anything the toddler gets is just a bonus!

All the best! x

[feeb]

DS1 is now over 2 and 1/2 and DS2 is just over 1 and they are both still feeding.

At the start I always fed DS2 first on 1st side and then sometimes would feed DS1 on that side after DS2 finished and feed both at same time or feed DS1 after DS2 had finished both sides.

Once a bit older I would feed either when ever they wanted and still do.

DS1 is the boobie obsessed monster he will say "bubby floor" and want me to put DS2 down so he can sit on me and feed LOL.

DS1 regularly asks for boobie LOL.

Before DS2 was born I thought DS1 was weaning as would have short feeds but once DS2 was born and milk changed he loved it and got more obsessed!!

Good luck its very rewarding and the most beautiful thing is feeding them both together and have them touching each other ohh so cute.

[Heaven]

Thanks guys!! Big help! It sounds so special! I'm looking forward to it now. I definitely think it's a way that will help them bond aswell and give DD comfort through this big change.

Shanti- That would be good! Do you have my address on the back of what I just sent you the other day?

[Shanti]

Shanti- That would be good! Do you have my address on the back of what I just sent you the other day?

Sure do! It's in my address book! Will post it tomorrow when we're out so you can hopefully read it before bub arrives. It's a good read! You've probably gotten lots out of that tandem feeding book you read too.

I squeezed out LOTS of colostrum today (never had any with DD's pg at all!) and DD had a few feeds on it!! Wondering if she's going to take up BF again.....

[Heaven]

Now I can update with my experience so far.

DD1 hasn't been jealous. I talked to her a lot before DD2 came along about how she would have booby too so she knew what was going on. She understands DD2 needs booby and is usually happy to wait. Only a few times she has got a bit impatient but she is pretty easy to distract. I can't feed them both together, tried it once but was too awkward and I didn't like the feeling.

DD1 did increase her feeds for a few days. I didn't want her too but I let her at the start because I thought it's such a big adjustment and maybe she just wanted to be sure nothing had changed and she needed comfort. So I let her but since then I have been distracting her if she wants it a bit much. With my boobs out all the time the temptation is always there! lol. But now I'm back to only doing 1 feed a day, sometimes 2.

She is very pleased that I have milk again I think, lol. The other night we were lying in bed and she points to my boobs and says 'These big boobies, wow, big boobies. Mummy's boobies, no, DD1's boobies. This one DD1's booby, this one DD2's booby. DD1 LOVES BOOBY!!!' and then kissed my chest, pmsl. So I guess there'll be no weaning soon.

[Shanti]

That's good to hear it's all going well!!! I would imagine feeding both girls at the same time could be a bit awkward or uncomfortable..... and seeing as your DD1 only feeds 1-2 times a day you don't really need to feed them together hey? I think talking to your DD1 alot before DD2 arrived definitely helped her to understand it all so no need for jealousy.

I wish I still had milk for DD! She has been asking for it again lately and having a little suck now and then and saying "baby will have booby yeah?" as we talk about the baby alot etc..... so I dunno maybe she'll start feeding again when my milk arrives?
who knows?! in the meantime she has some colostrum and says "I just had some colostrum mum" so cute.

[Panda74]

Lol! Thats so lovely! Congratulations!

[feeb]

Now I can update with my experience so far.

DD1 hasn't been jealous. I talked to her a lot before DD2 came along about how she would have booby too so she knew what was going on. She understands DD2 needs booby and is usually happy to wait. Only a few times she has got a bit impatient but she is pretty easy to distract. I can't feed them both together, tried it once but was too awkward and I didn't like the feeling.

DD1 did increase her feeds for a few days. I didn't want her too but I let her at the start because I thought it's such a big adjustment and maybe she just wanted to be sure nothing had changed and she needed comfort. So I let her but since then I have been distracting her if she wants it a bit much. With my boobs out all the time the temptation is always there! lol. But now I'm back to only doing 1 feed a day, sometimes 2.

She is very pleased that I have milk again I think, lol. The other night we were lying in bed and she points to my boobs and says 'These big boobies, wow, big boobies. Mummy's boobies, no, DD1's boobies. This one DD1's booby, this one DD2's booby. DD1 LOVES BOOBY!!!' and then kissed my chest, pmsl. So I guess there'll be no weaning soon.

Awesome!!! Very cute of your DD1