A due date anniversary Q

[blessedatlast]

Over the last week I have been extremely irritable/emotional I put it down to being stressed over the millions of assessments we have at TAFE, tired due to work & AF is due. I have also been feeling my grief for the twins a bit more than normal, and I had an upsetting dream which I posted about the other day. Also, I had a bit of a trigger reliving the NICU journey with the twins and our decision to turn off their life support..

Anyway today I realised it is coming up to what WOULD HAVE been the twins due date.. BUT 2 YEARS AGO!! Could this still be a possible trigger do you think or is it just coincidence and it's the other stuff going on? Worst part is, now that I realised that this morning, now I am thinking about it and it's making me sad.

[Mum2Romone]

it's amazing what the mind and body remember... every year around the date we had our first miscarriage I get really emotional and upset.... And then I realise what the date is and it's usually feb 16 or 17..... ( the m/c was 7 yrs ago too)

[Miss.B]

Oh hun, huge huge hugs to you my darling friend. I get so emotional when Josh's due date (12 Feb) or his angelversary rolles around. Worse still, no one but me remembers, You have a lot going on but I really think your boys' due date is really the true trigger. It will always be in some way, sometimes smaller, sometimes bigger. All I can say hun, go with the flow, cry the sad tears for your boys, feel your pain, let out your grief. You will always feel the grief as you very well know. Just some days it's a bit harder than others. You've lost two loves of your life. Deep in your heart you know that kind of love will never be equal to another. You are allowed to grieve and cry and feel the pain hun. It is good to let it all out. Huge hugs sweetie, I'm thinking of you, just wish I could give you a big hug in person .

[Ozziehoffy]

hun.. I think that it's all a combination hun.

[diannescruffy]

darl, definately could be a trigger. I was only thinking this morning that in April will be 5yrs that I gave birth to Emmanuel but it feels like yesterday. I find when things in life are going well I am able to keep strong but there are sometimes little triggers that may set you off and it makes you feel like you are grieving all over again and that's ok too. Your boys are part of you and always will be, sometimes the pain is hidden in your heart and sometimes the pain spills through the scars. Thinking of you xxx.

Regards,
Dianne
Emmanuel born sleeping @24wks
Trisomy 13

[Lilliansmummy]

hunni i guess im a bit in the same boat, im also doing my diploma of nursing and doing things with paeds etc is a bit upsetting but my school has been fantastic and allow me to leave the class if needed. My friend just had her twins a week ago and it makes these last few weeks crap as i should have our twins here as beautiful 1 month olds.
Im assuming it does get a little easier but not so in the same way IYGWIM.

No advice, just keep you chin up, well done in almost finishing (i finish in september ) and your boys will always be with u as will my 2 angels
xx

[blessedatlast]

Thanks everyone, AF arrived today so, I'm thinking that played a part lol.. Just learning to take a few deep breaths when I feel the anger lol..

[dory]

Blessed - I know I am a bit late catching up on your post.... but just to answer your question..... thinking of you for your EDD... sweetie I expect them to be hard for the rest of my life.... it's a point in time that takes you back to a time that you never expected to experience, and when you go back you relieve your journey - different aspects of it, but it's all brought forward again..... the other stuff? It doesn't help.

Remembering Seth and Tait, and celebrating their short but meaningful time here with their Mummy, and remembering their eternal journey, to show their mummy the way through.