SIL with metastatic brain cancer - what to expect from here?

[LoveKnowsNoBounds]

Hi, my SIL will be 41 this year. She started off two years ago with breast cancer that they believe had travelled through the lymph nodes and to the lung. So she was a stage 4. She had her breast removed and lymph nodes, had the treatment and we all thought she was cancer free and breathed a sigh of relief. Until Christmas she started behaving very oddly and went downhill in a week. They found a mass in her brain and she had it removed. After the operation, she was like a vegetable and we were terrified. Now she is mobile and talking but has significant problems with her short term memory. We have been told that she can't look after her two kids (8 and 5) and she cannot be left on her own or drive a car.

My in-laws will be looking after her and the kids at the other grandparents house. The father, her husband is useless. My in-laws feel burdened by the 24 hour care they will have to provide. They are in their mid sixties and mid seventies. They miss their normal life. They keep saying this situation could go for 5-10 years. In anyone's experience is this true as I've never heard that with brain cancer? It is incredibly sad, especially for my DH, but working out all the logistics who will look after her and the kids is sad to work out too.

Any experiences of what to expect would be very welcome. Thanks

[MistyFying]

I'm so sorry this is happening to your SIL. I don't know anyone who has brain cancer... But perhaps your in laws may be eligible for some respite care? Or if your SIL needs more medical care perhaps they can look into organizations like Youngcare. It must be so tough on her and on the kids

[LizLemon]

I have no advice or experience but I couldn't read without saying how incredibly sorry I am that this is happening. How heartbreaking. I hope the situation is as easy on your SIL and family as it possibly can be.

[~Kim~]

That poor lady. No mum ever anticipates that. My heart broke for her when you talked about her parents and how they feel and her DH....she might have short term memory loss, but I bet she still understands. Perhaps your DH might remind everyone she didn't choose this for her life.
In my experience with brain cancer it is sadly very quick usually, though there are a myriad of different brain tumors and each one is different. It will also depend on how treatable the tumour is in terms of radiation/chemo. Brain tumors are very hard to treat though.

I hope your journey is peaceful mama.