DS's 2nd birthday...

[Calluna]

So DS's birthday is coming up in a couple of months and I've started thinking (Read: making myself anxious and panicy) about it.

I have a couple of issues

#1:
I am NOT good with social situations, being a host is my idea of a nightmare and I am freaking out. Last year his b'day was ok. Really scary for me, but we pulled it off ok, I was just really stressed - trying to make sure everythjing went ok, people were happy (what are they thinking? Do they wish they hadn't come? etc), add to that my mother , minimal help from DF although now he SWEARS it was equal. I'm so scared it will be the same this year. I feel like crying just thinking about going through it all again. This isn't how I want to feel on my baby's special day (or for the next 2 months!), I wish I could get excited about it. On the other hand I'm kind of excited that I found a dinosaur cake mould and some cutters and things so I'm excited about having found a cool theme, then I remember the rest and I start to feel sick again.

Help?

#2:
MIL +FIL and his GF. FIL has a new GF. MIL has decided she hates her on the basis of.. well nothing. According to MIL she must be either really stupid or there is something seriously wrong with her to want to date him. To the point where we can't mention her NAME in her presence. She wont go to SIL's house because they live in the same building. It's absolutely rediculous. I can understand not wanting to make friends with her but she could at least be polite and keep contact to a minimum rather than flat out refusing.
We like her, more importantly, Isaac likes her - more than he likes FIL actually . We want her to come if we end up having a party, but what do we do about MIL? We live with her so cant really tell her to suck it up or homelife is going to be rather awkward.

Erk! I hate organising stuff

[Beach Mama]

There will be SO many years ahead where our kids will want to invite friends etc and have huge parties. Why don't you make a special cake, invite only close family and friends to join you if they WANT to at the zoo or somewhere else special that you will go and just enjoy a day our instead of organising a party. That way if nobody goes, doens't matter because you will all have a ball and a fun day out and if a few people decide to join you ~ the more the merrier!! (Mmmmmmm off to contemplate something similar for DD's 4th party coming up....)

[Calluna]

We tried the minimal people, cheap as possible thing last year. We ended up with 20 people with only 4 groups of people, bringing thier significant other and children. () we asked each family to bring a plate and had it in a park. So it didn't cost a lot. Maybe 50 all up with the cake.
We're not in any better financial this year. I'd love to take him to the zoo or aquarium but we just cant afford it.

[wysiwyg]

If it causes so much stress - why have a party? We didn't have one last year and won't this year (DD will be 2) I really don't think at 2 they have any comprehension of parties, so unless they are something that you as parents want to do and enjoy doing why put yourself through the stress. We will do a day out/activity with DD instead, she will enjoy that far more, and am sure there must be things to do in Brisbane that would come in less than 50 dollars, certainly are in Melbourne. DD will get a party when she asks for one (I suspect this will be for her 3rd birthday - but maybe she will be like me and not really into them).

[*Sparklez*]

I think, why dont you think about what ds really enjoys doing and do that for the entire day? dont worry about everyone else and if they want to participate tell them they are more then welcome..
Dont stress babe, if people dont like it tough its not their day hun, its your ds's.. party or not, the best gift is love and he loves you for it xox

[*LittleMissSummer*]

Hey hun i just saw your B status. why dont you just do a family thing just you DP and your DS do something special just for him. Watch all his favourite movies, cook his favourite dinner and have cake and celebrate together. Take him to the local park and let him play.

its hard when you dont have very much $$$ and i honestly think something like this is more special and will mean more to him than a room full of people.

hope you are ok with the decision not to do anything

[Calluna]

Lol LMS you beat me to it, was just gathering my thoughts to post.

I think you're right. It's too expensive, stressful, and he has no idea whats going on anyway. I think we'll just have some birthday cake with DF and whoever else happens to be home at morning tea time (early enough to run off the sugar) and a family day and find something cheap to do that's a bit different.
I think I just needed to be told it's ok. I feel mean for not throwing him a party, and dread the guilt trip I'm going to get from some family members
My other concern is that I'll always be this scared, and maybe I should make myself face it each year and hope that I get used to it...

[Frangipani]

I hate organising parties too. We've only done 2 birthday parties- just their 1st ones (and DS2s was a last minute put together one). I figure they can maybe have little parties when they are a little older- maybe when they start school. Last year for DS1's 2nd birthday we went to Australia Zoo. This year (only 6 weeks away actually) for his 3rd birthday we might go to the train museum. We told both sets of grandparents what we are doing- so its up to them to organise and pay for themselves and join us if they want. This way there is minimal stress and my boys will have a fun day doing something i know they'll enjoy (as will DH & I).

If you do want to do something like this start to keep an eye out for vouchers- thats what gave us the zoo idea- got a buy one get one free flyer around this time last year.