If access falls on mothers day, I get DS back Saturday afternoon but he goes Friday night till Sunday afternoon every fortnight. The same thing happens if fathers day falls on one of my Sunday's - DS goes there the Saturday night comes home Sunday afternoon...
if it genuinley is the only day he can see Bilby, then i would just celebrate with maybe a special dinner/breakfast the day before.
If he can see her on another day and is just being a stubborn prat then that would be different.
But if its court ordered, then you may have no choice.
However, you will need to make sure you have all of your holiday acessses sorted out, as you may find that you miss out on things like birthdays and xmas if you dont have a "joint care for special days" thing organised
GL hon, I hope you get it sorted and life gets a little less stressful for you. *hugs*
Hi Gigi
Im the same as Berry... When Mother's Day falls on his weekend she goes to him that Friday but comes home on the Saturday and the same with Father's Day if she is at our place she goes to him on the Saturday at 1pm and comes home at 1pm on the Sunday so she can also spend some time with her step dad (my hubby) as he has been in her life since she was around 13 or 14 months old..
It is really hard trying to work out those special days such as birthdays, christmas, your birthday etc but it is important or otherwise you may miss out on those special days.
Goodluck with everything
With mother day/fathers day/parents birthdays Then that parent (with the special day) gets to see them for half the day, if its not their weekend. otherwise buisness as usual
I have the same arrangement as Divvy. Also court ordered.
If it means a lot to you, perhaps you can negotiate with your ex so that he has her another day (eg. public holiday) as "make-up" contact...Maybe even this Easter Monday or Tuesday. Of course, it depends on your relationship.
If you dont have court orders, perhaps she could be sick that day
BellyBelly Life Member - Love all your MCN friends
Jun 2004
The Festival State
3,008
before X got his current job, we could swap as needed. but with this new job, working public holidays, and rostered on every Saturday, working so late that his pickups are more like 7pm (instead of 5pm) - i feel there is no room for leeway anymore.
there are no court orders
we went from working out a compromise (when he was unemployed), making pickups and drop offs child friendly times, to now, which is "these are the ONLY times i don't work, so i HAVE to see bilby then or not at all" and the dropoffs/pickups suit him, not bilby or me.
we had a very uncomfortable time last year, trying to have a combined birthday and xmas day with the three of us (thinking it would be nice for bilby to have both her parents there). i doubt we'll repeat that, did not go well.
i think i should take this issue to our next combined contact mediation counselling session, i just can't get my head around this new way (no leeway, due to his tight work schedule, being on call etc).
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