Why wont he sleeeeeepppp?????

[meow]

I'm going insane.

My 5 month old only has tiny catnaps during the day. Generally 20-30mins tops. I really wouldn't care that much but then he's super tired all the time and wants to go back to sleep. He just grizzles and obviously needs sleep. So, fine... but then I have to spend even longer than his sleep will be rocking him to sleep.

Why wont he stay asleep?? I'm spending ALL day dealing with him and sleep. I have another child! And an autistic one no less. He is spending all day by himself watching TV FFS!!!!! I'm supposed to be spending time with him teaching him to interact. Not ignoring him all day.



ETA: Oh, I've started trying to teach him to self settle. But that requires teaching him to sleep unwrapped which isn't going super well. And he either grizzles in his cot for ages then starts crying. Or I rock him almost to sleep and try and put him down and he wakes right back up.

I don't know if I should persist with the self settling idea. Maybe he's too young?? Maybe I should be doing it differently, or doing something else?

[Ginger]

it's horrible when they won't sleep hun, and incredibly frustrating.
a few things i used to do with ds2 (who was a really bad sleeper) was:
carry him around in a hug-a-bub and let him sleep on me- this allowed him to get used to sleeping for longer periods and not be so over-tired.
put both boys in the pram and walk around until ds2 was asleep and then park the pram under a tree and take ds1 to the playground to spend some one on one time with him

[meow]

Thanks for replying. Both great suggestions.

For some reason he hates the sling though. We had a hug a bub but he's too heavy in it now so I use the ergo and he'll sleep in it after resisting just as much as when I'm rocking him, then wake after even less time. Max 20 min sleep in that. I could try carrying him on my back maybe as he gets pretty disturbed on my front when I move around.

I've also done the pram thing but it feels cruel because he has to cry it out in there. Also, we have a P&Ts and his legs barely fit in the lying down mode now so I have to use the sitting up seat for him, but he's too little to sleep sitting up. Ugh. All harder than it should be!

[CrazyLady]

I used to put DD in the sling and start the vacuum cleaner. I think it was around 5 months where she became super alert and overstimulated really easily. The consistant background noise was enough for her to fall asleep. I had the cleanest floors How long has it been going on for? Is it a wonder week? Pixie would also have a period of being unsettled after a massive weight gain because she was feeding up for a growth spurt. To this day if she's going on an eating spree I know she's going to be super tired the following week and it's a lot easier for her to be overtired if I miss the initial tired signs.

Good luck and HTH!

[UsPlus2]

The other girls have given some great suggestions. I was also going to suggest background noise. But if he sleeps in his cot for a little bit, maybe put a cd on of a heartbeat or oceans etc anything to drown out the noise. Also try deep breathing when you are holding him to your chest, will help him slow his breathing and relax him.

The rocking chair was my best friend around the same age with DS, could you perhaps take your other son into the room with you and set him up on the floor with some activies so he is at least away from the tv? It might not be as quiet in the room but it doesnt seem like total quiet is working for you bub anyway.

GL and try to remember one day you get through is another day closer to him growing out of it

[meow]

Thanks for the replies.

I don't always shut my older son out but he has no concept of being quiet and bangs and crashes and keeps the baby awake so he's no help. I end up getting cranky at both of them. He's not always watching TV, he'll play really well by himself reading or something but he's not supposed to be by himself so much.

We have just started playing ocean sounds in the room. Hasn't made any difference yet. I'm wondering if he has sensory issues too and maybe a weighted blanket will help.

This has been going on for a while now, but I guess I'm losing it more at the moment as it seems to be getting worse and I'm also on a new diet to try and help so I'm on carb & chocolate withdrawals. thanks for the reminders that it's normal.

[onthefly]

My DD is the same. Nothing seems to work.
DS was the same. He would sleep longer in the hug-a-bub when he was little, then nothing worked.
So I just gave up and I'm pretty much ready to give up with DD too now. Unlike DS who really didn't want to sleep, she does and is so grizzly and grumpy most of the day. But just can't sleep longer than 40 minutes tops (20-30 is pretty normal too).
Honestly sometimes I think you just have to wrk around it. You can't spend all day trying to get one child to sleep, you know?

[Ginger]

how about popping him in the car and going for a little drive? we are on a bumpy dirt road and it used to work wonders for getting ds2 to sleep

[trishalishous]

I always find that wearing DD, with my b00b in her mouth, means shell wake and resettle with a few sucks.
We also make sure its noisy all the time, then a loud crash/bang doesnt bother her as much.

[meow]

Honestly sometimes I think you just have to wrk around it. You can't spend all day trying to get one child to sleep, you know?

I agree. I wonder sometimes though if I've let him stay awake too long and that's why he's hard to put down. So then I think I should try and put him down at the first sign of tired to catch him and make for easier sleep time. I dunno. After tears and up & down all afternoon I gave up and he spent about 4.5hours awake (after only having a 20min nap) and finally passed out for about 2 hours once his big brother was in bed. Come to think of it, he sleeps well (ish) in the dark, so maybe I should add block out curtains for the day?

I know the theory of making noise so they are not disturbed but it seriously hasn't worked with either of my boys. This one loves any excuse not to sleep and if he hears his brother- bingo!

[meow]

Thanks again for the ideas everyone. I'm sinking a bit at the moment so it really helps to have some ideas. I pondered them some more last night...

Honestly sometimes I think you just have to wrk around it. You can't spend all day trying to get one child to sleep, you know?

I'm still trying to work out what you mean by this... basically ignore the fact that he's tired and just make him stay up to avoid having to put him back to bed again? I tried that this morning. We all played together and I kept him up for 3 hours till it couldn't be ignored anymore. I settled him in the ergo rather than taking him to the bedroom to go to sleep, which also helped me spend more time with my older son. Took him heaps longer to go to sleep though of course.

how about popping him in the car and going for a little drive? we are on a bumpy dirt road and it used to work wonders for getting ds2 to sleep

Car rides are good. My older son loves them and the little one will go to sleep but once he's asleep I still can't play with my older son because we're stuck in the car.

I always find that wearing DD, with my b00b in her mouth, means shell wake and resettle with a few sucks.
We also make sure its noisy all the time, then a loud crash/bang doesnt bother her as much.

I've been so jealous all night thinking of this, you're very lucky to be able to keep your daughter settled like this If only my son would snooze in the sling and wake up for little feeds. I think I'd freeze having my top open though and it would kill my back- he'd have to be around my waist to keep BFing in the sling

[onthefly]

Meow, I mean you try for a bit, but not forever. If he's still awake after 15-20 minutes, just get him up again, do something else, then try again a bit later. Or if there's something that 'works' at all, just do that (ergo?). I still haven't found the 'thing' that really works with DD so I'm a bit stuck there. I'm trying stuffed toys at the moment - do you think she might start sensing my desperation?
Yeah, try block out curtains. Try anything (within reason)!

[Arcadia]

Urgh! It sounds all very familiar!!! I found it would get worse when dd was dropping one of her sleeps and consolidating them into fewer but for longer. I remember carrying dd all day most days with no difference. She would have 5-7 short catnaps and be super clingy and tired. For us 6 months was better, and she was having 3 clear naps, one of them for 2 hours.

Teaching self settling did help for us...but it's a mission and not necessarily pleasant, and i still have doubts about it tbh

[DANNIIM]

DH ended up foiling DS2's bedroom window and i think that helped him. It was always a huge shock with DS2 i went from having DS1 who was a baby that slept all night from a few months as well as having two x two hours sleeps during the day i now know he was the dream baby sleeper but DS2 certainly showed me what babies are like when they don't sleep.

[Heaven]

Omg I have no idea, I'm in the same situation. At least I could actually keep DD1 asleep in the sling, not DD2!! Lucky if I get 40mins.

[meow]

I should be an old pro. My older son was a shocking sleeper too But I didn't have anything else to worry about so I just went with it. I taught him to self settle at 9 months and it took heaps of work with up & down in the cot to try and avoid crying. I was trying the same technique but I don't think this baby is ready at 5 months.

I get what you mean Mad... with this guy though he would go down in 15mins but then wake up 15mins later. Keeping him up longer and using the ergo to settle to sleep (then moving to the cot) helped as I didn't feel chained to the bedroom. Had a better day thankfully

[onthefly]

good!

[DANNIIM]

I used to also lay down with DS2 and i would get a good hour or two out of him, then when he was into the deeper sleep i would slowly pry the boobie out of the mouth... probably a bad thing to do but you know you do what you have to. I guess it helped that DS1 is that bit older but does your older son still have a day time sleep?