It's amazing......

[mummydreamer]

how some people are just really clueless and insensitive

[Tinks]

It must be so hard for you.

I think she's either selfish or she just doesn't know what to say. Could you perhaps bring it up in conversation when you go dress shopping?

[mummydreamer]

It must be so hard for you.

I think she's either selfish or she just doesn't know what to say. Could you perhaps bring it up in conversation when you go dress shopping?

yeh i kind of want to, but given that she's pregnant as well, i just don't know how to broach the subject without it sounding bad. and then i feel like she would get distant and not say anything to me about her baby, i don't know......seriously she's such a brainy girl i don't understand how she can be so clueless and just not willing to 'go there' when it's obviously hugely significant to me.....

[Yas]

Im so sorry for your loss Mummydreamer. It's so hard for you right now, you only lost J a sort time ago hun. I would ask her whats going on? Tell her you feel like she doesn't care etc.
Thinking of you and sending lots of love your way xxxx

[Tinks]

yeh i kind of want to, but given that she's pregnant as well, i just don't know how to broach the subject without it sounding bad. and then i feel like she would get distant and not say anything to me about her baby, i don't know......seriously she's such a brainy girl i don't understand how she can be so clueless and just not willing to 'go there' when it's obviously hugely significant to me.....

Maybe you could just talk about him in general converstation and gauge her reaction. If she looks uncomfortable you could ask her why she's so uncomfortable talking about your baby and go from there. I really do think it's because she doesn't know what to say to you. Maybe she doesn't want to make you upset or uncomfortable if she talks about her pregnancy

[Tegam]

vent as much as you want! Im sorry people in IRL are putting their feelings before yours.

[Miss.B]

Sweetie, I'm sorry your friend is behaving this way My guess is that she avoids talking about your son Josiah as she doesn't know how to deal with the loss/grief you're going through. Especially now that she's preggo AND expecting a boy, she probably thinks that you might get upset. My own brother (I only have one and he's my only sibling) never acknowledged Joshua's passing. EVER. Not a 'sorry', or 'I don't know what to say' or whatever. I couldn't look at him for months and then forgave him as I guessed he didn't know how to deal with it. My SIL later told me that he told her that he didn't say anything because he didn't know what to say.

[~mamaspice~]

Sweetie, I'm sorry your friend is behaving this way My guess is that she avoids talking about your son Josiah as she doesn't know how to deal with the loss/grief you're going through. Especially now that she's preggo AND expecting a boy, she probably thinks that you might get upset. My own brother (I only have one and he's my only sibling) never acknowledged Joshua's passing. EVER. Not a 'sorry', or 'I don't know what to say' or whatever. I couldn't look at him for months and then forgave him as I guessed he didn't know how to deal with it. My SIL later told me that he told her that he didn't say anything because he didn't know what to say.

Vent away Mummydreamer But I do agree with Beata. I think that maybe she honestly just does not know how to act or what to say.

[*Sparklez*]

massive hun, its not easy trying to deal with the emotional rollercoaster of everything, plus keep that brave face for all the passer by'ers who have no idea what you hold behind that face and smile.,.
i think that a=maybe she is trying to share the excitement with you , but i dont think she really knows how to do it itms??
Ive lost my little one yrs ago, 10 yrs ago just 3 weeks ago.. and my Bestie lost her full term little girl november 2009, i feel preg early 2010 and i couldnt tell her i was pregnant. I hid everytime i seen her car at her sisters (next door), i would always tip toe around anything to deal with her, simple because i couldnt tell her my joy while i knew her pain, it became even worse when i found out dd was a girl, until one day we ran into eachother and we automatically just started crying the both of us, we had shared the same pain of loss and the same happiness of our live babies.. Both our ds's are the same age.
i think what im trying to say is, ive been in both shoes many times, maybe too many times, but i know the feeling of trying to be happy and trying to watch my p's and q's while trying to retain my excitement and alot of the time you dont realise what you do that upsets the other itms?
I totally get why your upset , and i do think maybe softly approach her and let her know that for someone whom is your bestfriend she isnt showing you the compassion and lovingness that you are trying to show her..
again huge you deserve these x1000000000000000....

[*Efjay*]

gah I know who your talking about & honestly. Let it go. she has made comments before that rubbed me up the wrong way. I don't think the friendship is really worth it. You are 2 different people with different values & morals & I think you are just growing apart.

Think of my "friend" that you always knew would end the way it did. Maybe this "friend" of yours is my turn to warn you before you get really hurt.

eta - that sounds really harsh online but Im sure you know what I mean & will take it the way I mean xox

[damprye]

I havn't had a late loss but I do feel really insensitive when I forget to set my status about how much I'm enjoying being pg so that those that have had a recent loss don't see it so much Sadly I done that a few times today. I still post on their posts and pics because it needs to be talked about, not just sweeped under the carpet like nothing ever happened. Would they like it if noone ever talked about their kids? It is horrible, especially when it is supposed to be someone close to you