19 month old with seperation anxiety

[lyra stardust]

Have just got back from the gym and had a horrible morning! My son who is nearly 19 months has decided that he does NOT want me to leave and screamed the entire time, I lasted 10 minutes last time and then I gave up and left, and then today lasted about 30 minutes. He was settling for a few seconds but then crying again. The creche is fantastic- 1 carer for 2 children most of the time and he's been going on and off since he was 6 months or so, and knows this carer really well. But.. I hadn't taken him for 2 weeks before last week so maybe he just got out of the habit or something. After last week, which I thought was just him teething, I went early to settle him in, and took his lovey, but again as soon as I left he became really upset. He's also getting upset at bedtime and calling out in the night for about a week which is totally new. I think it's separation anxiety.

Not sure what to do... should I persist with the gym (I really need to go and have paid for 6 months up front!) and hope he gets used to it again, or just leave it?? I was thinking i could go tomorrow just for 30 minutes and see how he goes, but after today I know he'll probably lose it again. It is SO hard hearing him cry, but I know if he just gets that I'm coming back and starts playing, he'll have loads of fun like before, but the only way I can show him that is to keep trying.

What should I do???

[Nai]

My DD2 has just come out the other side of this. She would cry and carry on for a few minutes after I left but was fine. I cut my workouts down to 45min and would make sure she knew I was coming back etc. Now she runs off saying "bye mummy, you go to gym ok!"

So I would persist but cut back the time until he styarts to come out of it and gradually build up the time again.

[lyra stardust]

Thanks Nai, I hope he does settle down soon! I think I'll try tomorrow and just do 20 minutes or so. How long did it take for her to get used to it?

[Nai]

It was a good month or more but she was only going there 1 day a week.

[sloane]

i would persist as well. i go to a class at the gym once a week where there's a creche. at the start DS would cry when i left but i was close enough to be able to hear that he'd stop crying fairly quickly as long as he was getting a cuddle from the carer! i did notice that if i went past the window & made eye contact, he'd start up again but if he didn't see me he'd be playing away/joining in activities.

now when i leave i get a wave & he does his thing. it took about a month here too for him to get over it. i'm lucky as well that i go to the class with 2 people from my mum's group so there are 2 other kids he's ' known' since he was about 10 weeks old & we see 2 or 3 times a week.

[lyra stardust]

Thanks Sloane. He was doing that as well previously - crying for a bit but then settling down, but the last 2 times he just hasn't settled at all and got pretty hysterical so I don't know what's changed. It just seems that the separation anxiety has got MUCH worse. Hope it gets better soon!