20 month old development questions

[Artechim]

I was just wondering what other 20 month olds are doing.

DD seems to be developmentally slow to me and I wanted to see if others though the same or if she is within the realm of normal.
*She does not respond to her name
*She doesn't follow simple instructions
*Despite reading the same books all the time, pointing out the same bits of the same pictures, she can't identify anything when I ask her.
*She will sometimes make animals sounds for animals when she sees them, but if I ask her what sound xyz animal makes, she generally doesn't answer.
*She only has about 5 words
*no reaction at all when DH pulls into the driveway even though DS and I hear his truck from the other end of the house - like she doesn't make the association
*can do ring stacker toy, but won't even attempt shape sorter type

It is frustrating to talk to her because there is just no response. I feel like I am talking to a brick wall. No acknowledgement of what I am saying or that I am even talking to her. Like she just doesn't understand anything. Or if I ask her to do something she will just ignore me for a bit and then cry when I repeat myself.

I know everyone will be thinking it is her hearing, and she has an appointment coming up with a specialist, but she can certainly hear well enough if it is something she wants to hear! Like if I ask if she wants to put on her shoes for a bike ride she is away getting them, but shoes for anything else - no response. Or a mention of a treat, she hears that no troubles.

I know we aren't supposed to compare children but at 20 months old she is doing nothing developmentally that DS wasn't doing at 10-12 months old.

Is this normal for her age? Because I can't help feeling she is just frustratingly stupid.

[kiwimummy]

Oh that's hard eh. I was wondering about her hearing like you say...

My DD is 19 months and she does all the things you are saying yours isnt keen on, responds to her name, follows instructions, points to things in books, makes animal sounds etc.
She also only has about 5 words and will refuse to do things at times! So some things sound pretty normal.

Kids can develop at such different rates and still be normal. My DS was talking in long sentences by now, and DD certainly doesn't, but I still think she's ok.

If your instincts are telling you it doesn't seem right perhaps talk to someone, GP maybe? about whether it needs checking more? Or wait til after her hearing is checked?

[kiwimummy]

Sorry about the crazy title!

Those darn antispam things are so hard to read sometimes, and somehow that made it into the title!

[~Kim~]

It's so hard not to compare isn't it?

DS is 26months but at that age I was seriously thinking all the same things. I had DD before him who did and said so much at 12months and then he was so different. Children place such a different priority on stuff that's important to us, it's hard not to worry about them, but in the end it usually always rolls around how we think it should.

DS has only started understanding that his name is "Nate" since about 2, he didn't do animal sounds or point out stuff unless it was a truck, motorbike or ball, puzzles, sorting was not his thing at all. Only recently has he started showing interest in same and different let alone what shape can be manipulated into where. He was the silent assassin for ages, and grunting and screaming got him by.

[Taurean]

Hugs Arte I'll be brutally honest, DD is doing everything you mentioned plus more. I do get told she's a smart little cookie but she's at the same stage as the other kids in my mums group.

Do you have a paediatrician you can take her to for a thorough check? It may be simply that she's a bit slower than other kids or maybe she's really smart - only doing the things she wants to LOL. I read you were having some sleep issues again, maybe the lack of sleep has something to do with it?

I hope you can get some answers and reassurance soon. Thinking of you

ETA: good luck with the hearing testing. Maybe it is her hearing but she's worked out some of the sounds and gestures that she likes. Just a thought

[Miss E]

You're right, the first thing I thought was is she hearing ok?

I tend to think that all LO's are different and develop at their own pace etc etc... But to answer your question, my DS was doing all of those things at 20 months.

Do you think you might be focussing too much on what she's 'not' doing, rather than what she 'is' doing? Just a thought, but sometimes when you're concerned and looking for all the typical milestones that other LO's are making you can miss other more subtle achievements that they're making...

Mind you, that said, I'm a big believer that if you have a concern it's far better to explore it and get answers than sit and wonder. Particularly if it is a delay of some sort, the sooner it is identified and being worked on, the less impact it will have on the rest of her life iykwim?

[Artechim]

Thanks for the replies.

Kim, so Nate is catching up now? Just a slower start?

Taurean, thanks for the honest answer. DS at this age was talking in 6-8 word sentences, able to have a give and take conversation, reciting pages of his books, counting to 10 by rote, singing the alphabet, knew shapes and colours etc. A doesn't even know her name! It is just frustrating!

I don't know that the GP would be able to do anything at this point considering she has already been referred for hearing and speech pathologist appointments (the health nurse agreed that something doesn't seem right).

[RhiChiChi]

You're right, the first thing I thought was is she hearing ok?

I tend to think that all LO's are different and develop at their own pace etc etc... But to answer your question, my DS was doing all of those things at 20 months.

Do you think you might be focussing too much on what she's 'not' doing, rather than what she 'is' doing? Just a thought, but sometimes when you're concerned and looking for all the typical milestones that other LO's are making you can miss other more subtle achievements that they're making...

Mind you, that said, I'm a big believer that if you have a concern it's far better to explore it and get answers than sit and wonder. Particularly if it is a delay of some sort, the sooner it is identified and being worked on, the less impact it will have on the rest of her life iykwim?

This is a good point - what is she doing? All kids develop differently and yes, it may be a hearing issue or something else but then again it might not & she is developing at a slower pace or developing quickly elsewhere. She might all of a sudden take off chatting and you'll wonder where did that come from. It is difficult not to be concerned and I hope you can get some things rules out / explained.

[[M]umma[M]ia]

Your right... it doesnt seem right at all. Im glad you have appointments coming up for her, i hope they can shed some more light on it for you.

I dont have any advice, sorry. I havent been through this myself.

[MamaPan]

Arte
I think it is prob all ok, and it is just that W was so fast that comparisons feel slow iykwim.
I am glad you are getting it checked out though, you have had concerns for a little while so better to be on the safe side.

J is 22 months now - his speech is good, I dont think it is as AMAZING as N was (though he had caught up heaps, he was slower than N on that stuff to start). He can count to 10 (rote) but sentences are more like 2 word sentences. he can name colours and pick them out, animals names and sounds, sing lots of songs, some books fill in the gaps. thats my honest response - but he is advanced apparently on that stuff! physically boht my bopys have been slower as you know, but J is WAY ahead of where N was - close to running, lots of climbing etc. sleep wise - J sucks!! (on that he in on a par with N at the same age LOL)

best of luck - look fwd to hearing how she goes w the testing.

[kellynz]

Hey Art,
Sorry to hear you're feeling a bit frustrated and upset. Sounds to me like you have 2 very different little personalities on board! So it would be hard not to compare the two, especially as your son might fill the gaps for her a bit?
Miss A has always been a more quiet one, and she did have really good early physical development - so at least you've got that under her belt.
I read something the other day about children having at least 50 words at age 2. There is one boy at T's daycare who only just started really talking at 2...

A bit unrelated... but when T still couldn't crawl when he turned 1 people were starting to ask me if i was concerned - and the next day he got up and walked and has been running ever since - so present behaviour doesn't necessarily determine the future.

Hugs xx

[~Kim~]

Yep Art, he's right up there now only 6months later.