I have been having a bit of trouble with DS1 (aged 6) being generally ungrateful for everything at the moment. For example if I serve him up a lovely dinner he complains that there is no desert. If I buy him a couple of new tops he complains that he wanted a third. That sort of thing.
So we have a new rule. Name 3 positive things. Whenever he complains I ask him to name three positives about the situation (and I help him with these). So this afternoon I gave him a big pile of clean laundry to put away and he moaned. We came up with 1) it was great he had lots of clothes 2) it was great that they were clean and warm and 3) he has a lovely room with lots of space to put them away.
It seems to be working so far (only 2 days in). I'm not sure if he is less ungrateful or just doesn't want to make lists with me all the time but it it cutting down on the whinge in this house so I thought I would share.
That is really awesome! I love focusing on positives!
I have found with DD she will be much happier if we have a "positive day" rather then highlighting all the negatives. When she hit a massive tantrum period I made sure I was super praising for good stuff and acknowledged but didn't fuss too much over bad stuff. She soon got bored of doing bad stuff because she got much more attention doing good stuff!
Wow! It must be the age. DSS is almost 7 and I spent Saturday to Sunday with him and I was glad to see him go back to his mothers.. Seriously whinging about EVERYTHING!!! And he got everything he wanted!!! I might try it, but I'm not sure how well it will work considering I don't see him often..
This dosent envolve young children but i thought id share my experience with ungrateful teenagers.
I had 3 spoilt ungrateful teenagers (dont get me wrong well behaved lovely manners ect) they just think everything they have they deserve and my money grows on tree's so when i started to get the sh#ts with them making comments like do i have to eat that! and why do i have to do chores around the house ect my DH decided to take them for a visit to an old next door neighbour of his.
She has 5 kids is single long term unemployed lives in a 3 bedroom run down house screens hanging off windows the grass is above knee length and inside is like those hoarding shows on TV with filth everywhere coackroaches running up the walls and the kids mattresses on the floors dont even look suitable for dogs to sleep on.
So DH made my boys sit in that house for 2 hours why he had coffee and chatted they did not move they were horrified and when they got in the car DH said to them now your mother and i work hard to provide you with the things you have and we all need to live in this house and help each other to have a lovely clean home and all the nice things we have so think twice next time you whinge that you have to make your bed with the lovely warm flannlette sheets and electric blanket because there is kids out there that dont even have sheets on there dirty mattresses on the floor.
So now when i ask for things to be done i dont get the back chat and when i go to work they now know why i work and what a difference it makes to work and provide for your family my 18 year old son works full time and even does overtime and he was my most ungrateful laziest son i never thought he would get a job.
So thankyou my DH it worked.
I did something similar with DD1 a few years ago (around the time she was 8-9). The rule was, if she wanted to say something negative, she had to sandwich it between 2 positives. (which is a handy trick to have in your bag later in life, anyway). Worked really well, we stopped doing it after a while (presumably because she'd stopped complaining all the time).
This is working well with my boys...particularly my 11yr old as he loves to winge about everything...he is whining less as it has made him think about things
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Name 3 things to be thankful for
but it it cutting down on the whinge in this house so I thought I would share.
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