I need to stop this emotional rollercoaster!

[C~Q]

I hate it and I need it to stop. When i'm up at the Coast and with DP then everything is great, we have such a good time and it's just so easy

But when I go home and we're apart it's like everything changes...I get needy, and jealous and I look for things to pick fights about. He's not the most communicative person and lets face it, often he's out of his mind in pain or whacked out on painkillers, and even though I know that I still take him not texting as him not caring about me.

It's insane...I KNOW that he loves me, he shows me and tells me and I know it, but it's like as soon as I hit home I become this person that isn't me. Today was so uncool, I was a pathetic mess because we've been talking about moving in together and when I said I was scared because its a big step, he said "just go with what your feelings tell you" instead of what I wanted him to say which was something like "don't be scared, I love you I want you to blah blah blah". Thing is he HAS said that...I just wanted him to say it again...WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME??? It's exhausting!

Has anyone got any advice? This is not me, i'm not this person and I hate it...i'm going to dig out my Heart of Love by Demartini and read that again, I also need some thing to say to myself when I feel like this I think. Something like an affirmation that might push it all away...does that make sense?

TIA guys, feels better already to have spurted it all out lol x

[Beautiful Disaster]

No advice just hugs feel free to come for bubba hugs anytime

[C~Q]

Thanks hun...I'll take you up on that, keeping busy makes me feel better x

[Catastrophic]

no advice - But plenty of "ahuh i get thats" and xoxox Will keep you busy in a weeks time :P

[BellyBelly]

Hey hun, I have some relationship programs for women from Christian Carter and Rori Raye - they have totally changed the way I date and how I feel about being in a relationship. I think you'll really relate. If you subscribe to their mailing lists they always send out regular newsletters with free info. Of course there is also Anthony Robbins Ultimate Relationship Program which is more exxy but worth every cent and more. Those will sort you out as they have me

[C~Q]

Thanks Kel, checking them out now. He's great and reassuring most of the time but I don't want him to think i'm this needy person...I hate needy people!! And I hate the fact that a "x" or lack of can make or break my day...it's pathetic

Which program would you recommend if you had to pick one Kel? I've found my Demartini book I just won't start reading it again tonight or i'll never go to sleep!

Thanks MN, I thought you might...i'm sorry you can relate

[BellyBelly]

They both have a great deal of programs each depending on your situation. Christian Carter has a free eBook definitely worth it. Email me and I will send you some stuff I have.

[Beautiful Disaster]

Thanks hun...I'll take you up on that, keeping busy makes me feel better x

Well u know where I am

[meow]

I'm not much help but what with regards to the something to say to yourself I ask "how would I say this to my friend?" If I would behave like less of a mindgames psycho (I'm prone to that) with a "regular" friend then I try to tell myself not to behave like that with my H. I remind myself he is my BEST friend and doesn't deserve it. By pulling myself in like that it helps me reframe and get it together.

[C~Q]

Thanks Meow thats true! And I should remember that sometimes he is short in messages because he is in pain...not because all of a sudden he doesn't love me. Then loves me again the next day!! When I look at it rationally without the emotion it's just so crazy!! But at the time it's the end of the world...

[~StarBright~]

You could try a physical cue for yourself...

There is a proper name for it that has escaped my mind, but its along the lines of when your feeling or thinking of something that you dont want to be, you have a physical trigger, something you do.. like a rubber band on your wrist that you flick, or a certain part of your body that you touch...

But the other part of it is that you actually spend time "loading" this physical thing with what you DO want to feel. So spend a few minutes a day say holding your left wrist feeling loved, feeling wanted, feeling secure. Really feel it... and send that energy into your body. And then when you find your self feeling needy, you grab your left wrist, and those good feeling should burst out of you and you will feel them.

It takes time though.. you need to get your anchor (the part of your body your going to hold or touch) fully fuelled before it will become reliable, and you also need to "re fuel" it with the good energy!

Good luck!!!

[Miss.B]

Hun, I used to be like that with my DF. I now know that I was acting out of insecurity. He's got 3 kids from a previous r'ship, and I constantly used to ask if he loved me (like I was worried that he loved the kids more than me and I was the fourth in line, lol). If he didn't txt, he didn't care. If he sounded grumpy or just flat on the phone, he didn't love me anymore, etc. Even if he was giving me a kiss goodbye and it was a quick kiss, I would say to him, 'do it like you mean it'!! Half the time he did the 'quick' kisses when we were in front of the kids and he was all embarrassed. These days I don't ask anymore because he's proven to me time and time again that he loves me as much as a person CAN be loved. It only took about 4 years of me asking if he loved me though!

[C~Q]

Thanks MissB...yep, insecuritites...the stupid thing is i'm not an insecure person! Really happy with myself and know 100% i'm loveable lol. And when we;re together it's not there at all...just pops up in the car as soon as I leave, seriously

Starbright thats an awesome idea...I used to do that with a gratitude rock. So as soon as I held it I felt gratitude, i'll start doing it with this...thansk that is exactly what I need

[~StarBright~]

YAY!! Good luck with it!!!

[forshelby]

Hmmmm... I've been here before.

Instead of asking yourself 'does he still love me' how about 'am I being loveable?' If the answer is 'no, I'm acting crazy' then that should be enough of a trigger to snap you out of that mode. I guess if all else fails you have two choices. To love freely and without fear of rejection, with the possibility of it all going down in flames - OR - to freak yourself out on a daily basis entertaining thoughts of him disassociating himself with you. Either way, it could all go down in flames so I say enjoy it while it lasts.

I hope that made sense and wasn't out of line.

[C~Q]

It totally did thank you...I was thinking more along the lines of coming in here and getting someone to say "Rach, you're being a ****@r" but your idea is better lol.

And you're right, you have to love freely, it makes so much sense when i'm feeling "normal" i'll just have to make sure "Crazy Rach" comes in here and talks to you guys if i'm feeling like that again!

[forshelby]

lol, it's a deal.