DD is 9yo and is going through puberty so her body is becoming more womanly, the hips, the cute little podge (which she loses when she has a growth spurt anyways) but on Saturday she weighed herself about 20 times she weights 37.5kg and is 137cm tall, so she is within her 'healthy' range anyways. I asked her on Saturday after it had come to my attention how many times she jumped on the scales if she thought she was fat. Her response was no. I left it at that. I dont want to push the weight issue, but little things are kind of starting to concern me.
Today on the drive home she said to me 'I think I've put on alot of weight with all that I ate today' I asked her again - Whats with the weight thing? why are you so concerned with your weight? Do you think your fat? Because you are not fat. As long as you eat healthy and stay active you'll be fine. Her response was 'Hmm, I don't know' I was like what do you mean you dont know? what did you eat today? Apparently she had hot chips for lunch (today she had athletics carnival) and her normal recess which is fruit. Plus she had a fizzy drink rather than a water at lunch (she normally drinks a fair bit of water too)
I have also noticed when we are eating dinner she tends to eat a little bit and then say she's full. DD will put her leftovers in the fridge but you can guarantee they will be given to the dog the next day.
SoooOOooo - Should I be concerned? Should I monitor her a little longer and see what happens? Its a little scary to think I'm even having this thought & convo with my 9yo
I would be concerned and seek professional help. An eating disorder is actually a mental illness, so it needs a doctor's attention. I found this link. HTH.
Thank you both. I will have to address this a little more aggressively with her. This is def one of my fears
It will be the 2 of us tomorrow night, so it will be the perfect opportunity to discuss it with her further into detail and see if i can get more of a response out of her.
I dunno. It sounds like she knows that hot chips and fizzy drinks can make you fat. Which they can. But not one serve each on one particular day so I would explain that to her and say that eating them occasionally will not make her fat but if she ate a lot of them and a lot of other unhealthy food and wasn't getting enough exericse then yes, that could make her put on weight. I'd also explain that you can eat a lot of healthy food and not get fat.
I'm saying "I dunno" because I think it's too early to tell whether she's heading down the eating disorder line or not. The jumping on and off the scales thing could just be to see whether what she'd eaten that day would make her weight go up. That could be a child's natural curiosity (just like I will sometimes weigh myself before and after a poo OR it could be a sign that she's getting overly obsessed. Hard to say.
My dd went through this at the same age. She would even go as far as to read nutritional labels before eating anything and hiding food in fear she would get fat. She would constantly tell me she was fat when in fact she was wearing a size smaller than she should have been at that age. I started talking to her about healthy eating and 'sometimes' foods.
It took quite a while and loads of reassurance but I finally got her out of it.
I do think this is a phase many young girls go through but it really needs to be addressed early before it becomes a habit.
Tinks I'm so glad to hear girls can be talked out of it. I think I am super sensitive about this having just seen a doco on eating disorders. Fee I agree it is too early to tell and it needs to be seen in the context of the whole child.
I know boys develop eating disorders too but since having DD I have discovered a whole new world of things to fret about LOL!
Miss M, good on you for being such a plugged-in mum
Personally, first of all, I'd be getting rid of any scales. A 9 year old simply doesn't understand that she may weigh more than someone else, simply coz someone else is shorter than her.
My DD1 is 9. She is perfect. She's thin, but not skinny. A friend of hers is skinny & lanky. DD is always commenting on how she wishes she was that skinny. But right from the start I was truthful with her about it. I told her to look closer at the friend. Sure she's 'skinny', but look at the way her bones stick out. It doesn't look that nice does it? The friends own mother would love for her to put on a bit of weight, but I can't see it happening. She's like her dad.
I'd do everything to reassure her she's gorgeous the way she is, & keep an eye on her. Don't make a big deal out of it, you might make her think its something she needs to hide from you. Thats something you don't need.
My 9 year old does stuff like this too. Well, as much as she can, the scales are in my bedroom under the bed gathering dust cause I hardly ever use them and she doesn't know they're there, but she will do things like say she's getting fat, or trying to avoid eating much for dinner etc. She is also starting to show signs of the onset of puberty.
Best way I've found of handling it is to not make a big deal out of it, keep talking to her about healthy food choices and making sure she's taking part in a range of activities (dancing, sports etc). As well as constantly reassuring her that she's fine just the way she is, and that it's natural as she gets older and starts growing into a woman that she will get a little curvier and so on.
I wouldnt be worrying too much. My niece went through the same thing (i think the thread is on here somewhere). Shes 14 now and still watches what she eats but not to the extreme it was. You are doing a great job by leaving the communication about it, open with her. I think its the best you can do. Because she is so interested in the things shes eating, now is probably a good time to get her in the kitchen with you, cooking and preparing food. Also helping her understand the good and bad food... essential oils, that sort of thing.
Has anyone said anything to her? My dh's aunt said to his cousin (whose 12) 'you better start watching what you eat your almost a teenager'. Shes a tall slender girl as it was.
Maybe have a positive attitude towards all body shapes and have a chat about it with her.
My eldest DD was diagnosed with anorexia at 9 so I would really be keeping a watch on her. There is so much pressure on girls to look good and it is starting younger then what we ever had to put up with it. My DD is still battling weight issues so don't leave it to long to do something about it. Maybe a trip to your GP, and a talking to by them, would help her realise that she is just fine but maybe not. So giving your GP a heads up would be beneficial. hun this is a hard road
I plan on hiding the scales tonight when DD goes to bed. I did have a conversation with her this afternoon about weighing herself all the time. Its not acceptable. DD's BFF is a thin tiny framed petite girl who was barely 5lb born (premmie twin) so she *might* be comparing herself to her BFF. Which we have discussed previously as well.
I think it might be a phase, but dont want it to get anymore serious. DH does say things to her about her eating, but he only says something about her 'boredom' eating (most weekends) or not finishing her dinner then wanting dessert (for example)
kimb that is so young! There is alot of pressure on them (including us too) to look perfect. We are quite open with each other and she talks to DH or I about everything and anything.
I have always told DD that as long as you eat everything in moderation and are active there is no need to worry, especially when you're still growing. She needs to know she can eat junk food occasionally. and she is by no means fat/chubby. I did ask if anyone had said anything to her at school about her weight or called her fat and she said no. She does have a puberty book she has read that tells them to eat healthy (has a food pyramid to show good and bad foods etc) but does repeatedly say 'God loves you just the way you are' and 'God made you just the way you are because you're perfect' and things along the lines of that.
thank you to everyone again - I will keep on with the 'healthy options' and make sure she understands she can have a treat every now and again too I will mention it to the GP next time we are down there and see if he has some advice on what to do.
Just wanted to update everyone to say DD has gone back to her normal eating :-) it was probably just some phase but im gld shes gone back to eating normally and not 2nd guessing her choices
yay MissM I am very happy to read this. Having a child with an eating disorder is very hard work. We have battled anorexia (and still do) and bulimia. She thought if we saw her eating we wouldn't worry but then we noticed she was rushing to the bathroom after every meal. She now has issues with her teeth as she wore the enamel off them with all the throwing up. Watch what she does after meals and if you notice her going to the bathroom you'll need to step in. Weight control is insidious in some girls/boys so still be vigilant. I really hope it was just a stage for you and her xxx
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9 year old obsessing over her weight WWYD?
she weights 37.5kg and is 137cm tall, so she is within her 'healthy' range anyways. I asked her on Saturday after it had come to my attention how many times she jumped on the scales if she thought she was fat. Her response was no. I left it at that. I dont want to push the weight issue, but little things are kind of starting to concern me.
OR it could be a sign that she's getting overly obsessed. Hard to say.
hun this is a hard road
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