A few months ago I bit the bullet and decided I would start my own home based business, within weeks that went out the window after we got a call from the realestate saying the rent was going on $30 a week which we refused to pay and took that as the opportunity to get out of a old cold house before another winter hit.
The new place is just too small, we can hardly keep all the stuff we already have so I can't really go adding more things to store, there isn't even any room to work! So no business. I guess thats the price we paid for an awesome location.
DH and I are getting along better than ever and things are great. My only issue (other than not being able to get a sticky BFP) is working out what on earth I'm going to do for the next few years.
My own business at some stage is still a goal but I want something for now. It's a long time since I was in year 11 and doing my pre tertiary subjects to get into medicine at uni.
I really had no idea what I want to do, I didn't want babies, I didn't want to get married and thats what I ended up doing. The clear plan for my life has gone, long ago.
DH is happy to support me in whatever I want to do, uni, tafe, work, anything. I just don't know what to do!!!
I feel so guilt stretching our family for me to go off and study something for 4 or so years, I feel like it's not the right thing to do and I should just get a 9-5 job that pays bills. But I know that wont be fulfilling.
I know I'm very lucky that DH is willing to support whatever I want to do so why do I feel so guilty? Every time I look into something I think no, it isn't fair on him and the kids and look for "just a job" again.
How do I work out what I want to do and stop feeling guilty about it?
I have a list of things I wanted to do or interested me while I was in high school but I know it will take a long time to get any where in those fields and I start feeling guilty about the sacrifices the kids and DH will have to make for me.
I feel so nervous as well, its been a long time since I've been "out there". Pretty much been living in a little cave the last 11 years and the thought of having to get out there scares the poo outta me!
Have you looked at Open Universities Australia (OUA), that way you can study and work (perhaps just part-time). I don't think it has to be an either/or.
I have and it is another option but again, if I'm working during the day and then studying at night I still feel like I wont have enough hours to give everyone the attention that get now.
I know I just have to get over it and do something but I feel so guilty doing something for me, that is about me and going to change things for the kids and DH...does that make sense?
^^ I think you said it perfectly - you have to do this for yourself. In the long run it will benefit all of your family, but in the short term there will be adjustments for everyone. Once they are used to them, it wil be like the 'norm'.
do it! I studied for 4 years straight with a newborn in my last year, we were very poor but we did it, now number 2 is on the way and I'll be doing my masters in jan for another 2 years with 2 kids under 3 but in the long run it means more money and a happier life for ME! so don't be scared time will fly and you will be done before u know it!
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work or study? I feel so guilty!
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