My DD wants to be carried but is getting too heavy for me.

[Moi]

Hi all.

My 2 1/2 year old DD wants to be carried a lot if we're out and about and she's getting too heavy for me to carry for long periods. I have problems with my back and carrying her is making the problems worse. But I don't know if there's any way I can stop her from wanting to be carried.

If I take a stroller with me she wants to get out and walk and after walking for a while she then wants to be carried, so I am then stuck carrying her and pushing a stroller at the same time. I could not let her out of the stroller I guess, but I do want to encourage her to walk on her own. Or I could force her back into the stroller but it's difficult with flailing arms and legs!

If I refuse to pick her up she will either stand in front of me with her arms up crying "I want a cuddle! I want a cuddle!" or drop on the ground crying and won't get up.

I've tried explaining that she needs to walk or go in the stroller because it's harder for me to carry her now, but it doesn't work. I've tried not picking her up but she will stay flopped on the ground. If I start walking off she will get up and grab on to my leg so that I cannot walk.

I just don't know what to do. My back gets so sore from carrying her but she won't walk on her own or get back in her stroller. Any ideas? TIA.

[Beach Mama]

darls, so hard when they turn into an octopus - my iphone will usually get J back into the stroller quick smart if he is fluffing around, or have you thought of a carrier if it is all the time? Maybe a backpack style like an Ergo - will save your back and tanties and there will be a day when she will want to walk for longer! Izzy is 4 and walks all the time now!

[~ Zarava Flutterby ~]

hun, i think it's the age, were having A LOT of trouble with A with the same thing right now.
We get out of the car and i get "i want to walk" so we let her walk, then i get "i want a cuddle" she kicks and screams if we try and put her in the trolley (she stands in the back) but then she's fine.

Some days she will go in the pram without a problem, other days she goes off her head at the thought.

Will be interesting to see responses, at the moment i stick it out, i put her in the trolley or pram whether she likes it or not, she tends to cry a bit and i go bright red with embarrassment but she eventually stops.

[Mak]

Would a skateboard attachment to the stroller be helpful?? So she could stand rather than sit? DD2 here is similiar which I struggled with as DD1 would still sit in the stroller if I let her, lol! DD2 has also taken to standing up in the stroller and chatting to me - prolly not that safe but we only use it around the shops every now and then.

[belfie]

It's a tricky one. Having been in the position where I just could not physically lift or carry X at all, he learned quite quickly that it wasn't going to happen. In our case it was a simple "you walk with mummy or you sit in the stroller. If you don't choose, I'll choose for you (i.e. the stroller)".T This was a phrase I learned from a great early parenting talk I went to, give them a simple choice and be prepared to enforce YOUR choice if they don't choose. I found that having to put him in the stroller & do the straps up, whilst still difficult, was less burden for my hips than carrying him. He did pick up quite quickly that I meant it, and most of the time was pretty good about toeing the line. If he dawdled or tantrumed, he also knew I'd put him in the stroller.

I encouraged him to say if he wanted to get out & walk, and I found if he understood I would let him out of the stroller & walk provided he behaved, that seemed to work well. Often the mere threat of back in the stroller meant he'd smarten up & walk with me rather than being a silly billy. So saying, with all of this, he wasn't yet 2... and I do think the post 2 tantrums are worse (and physically bigger!). But equally I think if you're really consistent with it, she will learn. If you physically were absolutely incapable of it, she would adapt. It's a question of whether you want to stop all carrying on the way? I think it can be tougher if you carry them some days, but then refuse other days. Good luck.

[Moi]

Thanks guys. I am actually glad to know I'm not the only one going through this.

Belfie I have given choices but haven't added the "I'll choose for you" so maybe that's something to try. Give her the two choices and then say I'll choose if she doesn't. I've do that with other choices, so I don't know why I haven't done it with the stroller/walking.

I also like the idea of distraction Tanstar, so I'll give that a go too.

And maybe if they don't work I'll try a skateboard attachment.

[feeb]

DS1 is nearly 3 and does this as well. Will say he wants to walk and then we get out car and 5 mins later "up please mummy" I also gve him option of you walk or sit in pram. If he still carrys on I pick him up and put him in pram, he will carry on for 5 mins or so and then is over it and is happy. Other times when I prefer he is in pram than walk eg train station etc I will sometimes let him have my iphone to keep him quiet.

Good luck you are not alone.

xoxo