I've decided my current job is well, just that - a job. Pays the bills, work isn't exactly difficult but neither is it mentally stimulating or interesting. I'm bored. Chronically bored.
DH and I have been discussing what the plan is once bub is born - I'm looking at potentially studying part time, looking at something like Environmental Biology. He's happy for me to do this and fortunately for us, we can afford for me to off work for a decent while.
But I'm looking for honest opinions on how hard studying with young children is? And any tips on how to make it work?
DH has been doing 2 units by correspondence the whole time he's been a SAHD.
He can do readings and work on essays while DS is asleep (and this was much easier at the start, when DS slept more!) and at night, after DS has gone to bed.
And I make sure I help out extra with DS and around the house - or take DS out more often - when DH has exams, or the last cruch before essarys are due.
DS is great on a routine, and is a really good sleeper (most of the time!) so DH has found it incredibly do-able.
But if DS wasn't such a good sleeper, it would all probably need to be done in the evenings or on weekends, which might end up meaning DH and I wouldn't get much time alone together.
I have a nearly 3 year old and nearly 18 month old and have found studying hard going this year as DS1 does not nap and DS2 will only sometimes fall asleep on me but cannot be put down and at night does not go to sleep till very late and only with me!!
It is so hard to say definitively as it depends on the child, and the support you have. 'Easy' baby = no problem. Partner who is helpful and hands on = great. Family around to help with babysitting etc = sure. If you don't have those though, it could be a struggle.
I studied with DD1 as a newborn, I was halfway through my course and dropped to part time when she was born which was, thankfully during the uni break so timing was on my side there. She started coming with me to Uni from 8 weeks as she was still fully breast fed and uni was all day so I wasn't able to leave her with anyone. She was a pretty 'easy' baby though and was very quiet and content, happy to just be with me, self settled beautifully from the start and slept reasonable amounts during the day and at night. The first 6 months was a breeze. I found it became difficult if not impossible around the time DD turned 6 months as she began to want to move around more, made a lot more noise and needed more attention. There was no way I could continue taking her with me to class or keep up with her demands during the day as well as get study done so I had to put the study aside. Secondly, at about the 6 month mark DD's sleep began to decline and I don't think I could have managed any study with that added stress.
DD2 was a completely different baby and slept quite poorly from the start. If she had been my first, there is no way I could have managed study.
I did part-time study when DS was 2. OK, it was 5 days a week but it was only 10-3 with an hour for lunch.
Loved it. Homework was done when DS was asleep. DS is a poor sleeper so I would sit with him going to sleep and work on my netbook at the same time.
How to make it work? Pick something you can do in short bursts and love the subject. Make sure you really have support - DH cooking meals, cleaning house and doing bedtime while you study (I didn't have this, but had good nursery provisions.) Family around to "cuddle with baby" for an hour while you get cracking on work. A wilingness to turn textbooks into stories (Phil was a positive ion and Katy was a negative ion...).
If you can take your child to classes, great. I did that once or twice. But you can't take your child to the lab.
Defintely depends on the child. My LO is full on, and never had a sleepy newborn period, and stopped having day sleeps at about 6 months (thankfully she started again at 12 months some days having 45 mins to an hour sleep).
If you have some family close by who can help out to give you study time, this will be huge benefit.
... and I guess it also depends on what you are like, and what kind of study you're planning on doing.
If you're well organised and determined (stubborn?) and you WILL stick to whatever routine/plan you establish, then this will put you in good stead.
And if you thrive on the kind of study you'll be doing, you're likely to succeed.
But if it's quite hard, or there's dry patches etc, are you going to realistically go and hit the books in the 45+ minute window you might have between looking after bubs?
I was able to press on through pretty bad morning sickness to get my most recent study finished wile pg, but I didn't want to do the next step while DS is so little ... because I'd rather play with him. But for me, it's an addition (rather than a pre-requisite) for my job - I can wait for a few years (or never do it) without it being a big deal.
Whereas DH wants to be a teacher - he has to finish his studies, and he can't get a job without them! So he's just keeping on track with 2-3 subjects a semester, and considering his options for summer subjects to get the job done quicker. But he's picking subjects that excite him the most, so that study isn't too big a chore, and he looks forward to it - because it helps it all get done, and done well IYKWIM.
That's pretty well all the stuff I'm looking at at the moment - I've found a course that follows something I've been toying with for years, dealing mainly with environmental rehabilitation particularly of areas affected by heavy industry and mining (really big in WA, and only going to get bigger). So the subject matter I find interesting already, but it has been a long time since I've done much formal study.
I'd possibly look at some part time care for bub as the course isn't offered externally, semester starts end of Feb and I'm due in November, so the very early newborn stage will be out of the way before I get started. I may consider mid-year intake instead which is July/August just to give both of us a bit more time to settle in before adding study into the mix.
Thanks for all the suggestions, I've got a lot to think about over the next few months I think!
I started writing my psych thesis when DS was 6 weeks. It was scary as all get out, but I coped. In the beginning I'd read articles and make notes while DS slept on me (he didn't sleep on his own til about 3 months), DH took care of dinner and I'd rush around like a mad woman when DS was happy playing on his mat. It's hard, and there were tears and late nights (still are!). We got a cleaner, and now DS and I are in a really good routine. Honestly, I doubt very much I'm going to get as high a grade as I usually get, but P's get degrees and I have a very happy baby boy. I wouldn't be surprised if DS's first word is ''hypothesis''.
The really good part is that I'm never bored, and I get enough adult interaction, some women in my mother's group complain about needing to get out of the house and keep busy, I've never had that problem I still get scared about it, worried that I'll never finish or that it's not good enough, worried that DS is somehow missing out, worried that I brought a cake for DH's birthday instead of making one; but those moments pass and for the most part I'm really happy with the decision to keep studying. It's a wonderful investment for our future and personally, I'd feel like I'd missed out on a dream if I didn't finish this, and I want my son to be proud of me and have the happiest Mummy he can. Happy Mummy = Happy Family
Ok, I'm going to agree that the right and real support is coming from your partner. My DP said he supported me, but there was no real picking up my slack around the house, so that's what I would do when DS was asleep, then DD when she came along. I still did the shopping, the cleaning, DP washed a lot of clothes (in disgust that I couldn't 'cope' with that either ) but I still folded them and put them away, bill paying etc. Cos, ya know, the poor love was also working and coming home to work. And I tells ya what, at 1am, when you're still plugging away at an essay and your child wakes and you have to stop your momentum to breastfeed and resettle, you just wish it were YOU who got to go out and work hard and come home to 'rest'!!
I like to think that if I had known we'd start a family I wouldn't have started studying. But I've come to realise that my brain is too restless and I probably would have studied something, I just kinda have the wrong partner for that caper!
I have to finish by year's end, because I've maxed out my years of this course, and once this is done I won't be doing a fourth year or Masters (contemplating a M Social Work, esp after a really inspiring week last week, courtesy of Monash!) until the last child is in school (and that last child is still in the planning stages, not even the TTC stages - I SOOOOOO don't want to be pregnant for this last semester of make or break!).
So, there, the honest account of a compulsive student!
I'm nearly finished, though - lots of fails and withdrawns and I've racked up a huge bill, but it's just the way it had to be.
Good luck!
KitFaeire - no such luck for me. Despite me studying Chemistry and then Teaching Science (which is very hard with no home support: I had to aim for a pass rather than being constantly excellent) DS still has no idea what density is, which pre-school had been teaching them. Then again, him and DH both switch off when I get excited about something.
Part-time Study with a Newborn
Reply With Quote
I still get scared about it, worried that I'll never finish or that it's not good enough, worried that DS is somehow missing out, worried that I brought a cake for DH's birthday instead of making one; but those moments pass and for the most part I'm really happy with the decision to keep studying. It's a wonderful investment for our future and personally, I'd feel like I'd missed out on a dream if I didn't finish this, and I want my son to be proud of me and have the happiest Mummy he can. Happy Mummy = Happy Family 
) but I still folded them and put them away, bill paying etc. Cos, ya know, the poor love was also working and coming home to work. And I tells ya what, at 1am, when you're still plugging away at an essay and your child wakes and you have to stop your momentum to breastfeed and resettle, you just wish it were YOU who got to go out and work hard and come home to 'rest'!!
Bookmarks