Moving countries with a toddler in tow: advice needed

[tanyaya]

Hi all


Greetings from Sweden, where we moved 2 weeks ago. It's a beautiful summer here but I'm having some behavioral issues with DS1 Archie, who is born march 21 2009, so I thought I'd write up about it here. Ever since we got here, we've been having some massive tantrums from him and I feel so sorry that we've uprooted him from his familiar world in oz and my parents, to a new country with a new language. He has been hitting other kids, and is generally very rowdy and then got bitten by a tick and is covered in mozzie bites. I feel so bad for my little man, then there are times I can't stand to be around him as he is driving me out of my mind. (you can award me crap mother of the year now )

We just got back from lunch at my MIL's. It was quite tiring, gambas played up heaps (as he has been doing lately, today was even worse as he missed his afternoon nap). My MIL's partner at one stage got frustrated with him and shoved him, I was absolutely stunned (but can also understand an old guy who isn't used to kids). We went home straight away but now I regret not saying anything. I felt really bad for Archie (who was being a pain, but still). I discipline my kids (and not physically), not someone else! In a way it could have been worse as we were thinking of going away with my MIL and her partner for 1-2 weeks, so we have cancelled that- thankfully we weren't on holidays with another 1-2 weeks ahead of us!

Anyway, just needed to vent. Moving countries is hard. With a toddler even harder.

Has anyone got any advice or tips? TIA

[YoYo]

Yes you're right, moving countries with a toddler (or two) is hard... I've done it twice.

It is a big thing for your ds.... All his familiarity has gone, he has to start over.

It makes you sure feel bad doesn't it!? But trust me, it will calm down, over time.

Just try your best to create a new 'normal' and show your ds and tell him that even though you aren't in aus, things will be 'like this'.....

The best thing is show him that you don't change the way you treat him or discipline him, regardless of what country you live in.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk so sorry for mistakes!!

[wysiwyg]

No advice from me, just hugs. CJ had a naughty week triggered by arrival of my mum I think, so can imagine moving somewhere new being a whole lot worse. Amazes me how much they remember and like to be the same, we have been to Read gardens hundreds of times, and only a handful with you guys but last time we went CJ looked up at me and said "Archie? - baby Barney sleeping?". Hang in there am sure he will settle soon, is prob still adjusting to having little brother too.

Hugs

[kiwimummy]

We have just done this (but thankfully to Australia, so no new language at least!). I am just working hard on me and DH being the kids constants. The things that are always there in their lives. I talk up all the good things about being here, the new things to do and our new home (which we haven't moved into yet). For DD (20months) I try not to have her out and about all day, everyday, so some quiet days to potter and be a toddler (we are staying with DH's family so in a house where she can play around, I brought some favourite toys), try really hard to keep her usual pattern in place with sleeps and familar mealtimes and foods.
DS (4yrs) is a lot more aware, so able to discuss it, but most of the same ideas for him too.

Hang in there, kids are adaptable, they just need time and loving support while they adapt. And it's hard when you feel frustrated and sick of them, but probably he'll feel better if you can spend more time with him, extra cuddles and understanding etc. And you could tell him you feel frustrated and it's all new for you too, and you'll get there together - I think they understand so much, and letting him know his feelings aren't wrong or unusual might help him?

Good luck!