2 month old wont sleep anywhere but on me!

[Dragonbub]

Ok I have tried everything to get this little guy down. He falls asleep pretty easily in my arms, although he wont settle for DH. He will also sleep for hours in a sling or carrier, but will NOT sleep on his own.

If I put him in the car I might get more time in before he wakes, or the pram for that matter, but I have tried the swing, my bed (where he sleeps at night) etc etc.

I wrap him and cuddle him and he will fall asleep, but as soon as I try to put him down, he will either wake up or will only sleep for one more sleep cycle, 20 mins max, and will wake up.

I have tried:
Swaddling, soothing music, warmed up heat pack, my clothing draped over him, the swing, dummy, etc. There isn't much I haven't tried to mimic me holding him, but he is just too clever!

So is it now better to teach him to get himself off to sleep so that he wakes in the same place he fell asleep? Is this what he is trying to tell me? I guess that might be my only option unless I just keep holding him for the next few weeks until he learns to do it on his own.

Has anyone else had this? What did you do to finally get him to sleep on his own, and did it involve alot of crying?

Thanks in advance

[Teeki]

Dragonbub, I don't know if I'm in exactly the same situation as you, but most times my three week old DD will only fall asleep if we're holding her. If I put her down too soon she's awake immediately or in a few minutes.

We found one reason seemed to be because the bed was cold compared to us holding her, so we'd hold her wrapped in her blanket, then when we lay her down it was behind her back and warm, and we draped the rest over her.

The other thing is that she wasn't in a deep enough sleep. Now we wait till she's well and truly out of it before putting her down and almost nothing could wake her lol

[Sagres]

Has he been the same consistently over a few weeks or is this something that has changed recently? The reason I ask is that he is about the right age for a wonder week or fussy period when things can get a whole lot harder, but are (thankfully) temporary. But if it has always been the same I would be less inclined to think it was a passing phase. Does it seem like he doesn't like to be laying flat? That can be a sign of reflux? Just trying to think of what other things could be changing when you are laying him down that could be an issue.

I am not really sure what else to suggest you try, I used to get my DD to the very very very drowsy stage then lay her down so she only had to do the last little drop off to sleep on her own, then gradually make that time longer, but TBH if he is aware of going into his bed during light sleep he will probably also be aware of it while just awake.

Personally, I wasn't that concerned about teaching a baby of that age to get to sleep entirely by themselves because it is still really young and it is pretty hard thing for them to master. Also I found that even though 'they' like to say all sorts of things about forming habits I didn't personally find any habits forming until way way older.
I think in the first 12 weeks you are still really in that 'doing what ever you can to get by' zone and it can make it a bit hard if you are trying to teach or enforce something. Things are hard enough as it is so you need to go easy on yourself! Also many babies have quite a period of change at around 12 weeks so what you are faced with today may be quite different to what you are faced with in 3 or 4 weeks time.

Good luck...x

[Jennie13]

my dd used to do that horrible one sleep cycle thing at that age, the one thing i found that helped would be to time the sleep (and she would be 30mins on the dot) and go and start soothing her before she even starts to wake, so say like at 25mins. It worked for us, we had a horrible few months!

Hope he settles soon xo

[~ Mylitta ~]

Sounds very similar to my son. Would fall asleep in my arms or in the sling, but not by himself in bed, and would never sleep longer than one sleep cycle during the day. I even used to have to sit on a fit ball and bounce him to get him to fall asleep.

We tried all the "tricks" but it just seemed to be his personality. I also liked the snuggle time, even when he was in the sling

Without changing anything, over time his sleep patterns changed. He eventually started sleeping for 1 1/2 hours for some of his naps. But he fed 2-3 hourly around the clock until he was about 16 months old. Then the night feeds went down to 2-3 per night. Eventually it was like a switch clicked and he slept through one night and has been doing it since. He was 19 months old when that happened (the month before my daughter was born). It's now very rare for him to wake at night and he sleeps from around 7.30-8pm until 7.30-8.30am.

The reason I think it's a personality thing is because we have done everything exactly the same with our daughter and yet she is a great sleeper! She has very strong tired signs and a very distinct tired cry. As soon as she even seems tired we can pop her down wide awake and she goes off to sleep without a fuss. She still feeds 2-3 hours around the clock though, but she's a nice easy night feeder which helps.

I know things must seem hard now, but fingers crossed that things will improve without you having to do much. Something that really helped me when I was waking lots during the night with my son and not getting a rest from day naps was remembering that's it's not like I was waking and having to go and shovel snow from my driveway. I was waking to have cuddles and precious breastfeeding time with baby. Sure, there were times when I got frustrated and thinking about that didn't stop me from wishing we were both asleep, lol, but I definitely found that I felt less tired once I stopped worrying about the lack of sleep, and just sort of accepted it as my son's way of life

[~Trish~]

My DS1 was like that, it's so tiring! The miracle that worked for us was an Amby baby hammock . Because he loved to feel snugged up and also motion while sleeping, the hammock mimicked those feelings and he slept wonderfully in it. I'd put him in it awake and then bounce him off to sleep, if he woke up after a minute, I'd bounce him again until he was in a really deep sleep. It was a little frustrating having to work so hard to get him to sleep, but better than holding him all the time! He eventually worked it out for himself and would happily bounce himself off to sleep LOL!

I remember the first time I put him in it, he slept on his own for a full 2 hours, it was an absolute miracle! I felt a bit like a fish out of water and didn't know what to do without him in my arms .

Hope you find something that works for you guys soon .

[Dragonbub]

Thanks to all your awesome responses!

Trish - I might look into a hammock, I will try anything at this point

Mylitta - I too love the cuddle time and as he is my last I particularly enjoy the cuddles. I think that is part of the problem - I dont want to put him down. But really, when he can't sleep anywhere else its just too much even for me. He screams his head off in the car which is the one place I cannot pick him up . It is quite dangerous and heartbreaking. Even if I am in the backseat with him he is not content unless I am holding him. Then I will nurse him back to sleep and we can hit the road again. I am becoming a bit of a hermit as a result .

[Dragonbub]

Sagres - he has mostly been like this for the last month but is particularly clingy around wonder weeks and is pretty much permanently latched to the breast!

[~ Mylitta ~]

It definitely sounds tough. At least my little velcro baby was my first baby, and my second is the nice easy sleeper. I planned that well, yeah?

I guess I don't really have any good advice though. We never did any CIO techniques or anything, we just sort of waited it out. When my son moved to his own room I can't tell you how many times I ended up sleeping on his floor with my arm through his cot patting his back. And this was while I was very pregnant, lol!

[onthefly]

DS was like this. He was very unsettled early on and it was the only way to get some sleep. He settled down a lot by around 3 months, and we started using some tips from the No Cry Sleep Solution to get him sleeping on his own. It worked. But then the next 'thing' came along and we were back to square one. He was over 2 before he was able to go to sleep by himself and sleep all night. It has stuck since then.

[berrme]

It definitely sounds tough. At least my little velcro baby was my first baby, and my second is the nice easy sleeper. I planned that well, yeah?

Lol, I keep saying how glad I am that my terrible sleeper is my 3rd bub because at least I know it isn't me doing something wrong.

DD is 6 weeks and sounds similar. We got the hammock because she screamed as soon as she was put flat in the bassinette. It is better... she at least sleeps in it during the day, but she still wants to sleep with me at night. Went and bought a heater today to see if the cold weather is part of the problem. (I wouldn't mind her being in with me for the next couple of months but DH is a light sleeper and DD is a very noisy sleeper/ feeder. Not a good combination. ) I would love any other suggestions to get her to sleep longer at a time and in her own bed.

[~ Mylitta ~]

Lol, I keep saying how glad I am that my terrible sleeper is my 3rd bub because at least I know it isn't me doing something wrong.

Lol! I love how we can find a silver lining in anything

[NaeNae]

My DD started that at around the same age, she wouldn't sleep ANYWHERE else through the day, nights were a little different for some reason though.

In the end I nursed her until she got too big and I got sick of being sore, I am thinking it was somewhere between 7-9 months? Honestly cannot remember.

ANyway one day I rang the ABA because she was literally attached to my breast for the entire nap (so it wasn't just she wouldn't sleep anywhere else either) and I was begining to go stir crazy and she said whatever it was I did at night do through the day too so I basically did our night routine through the day and it worked ..... I put her down in her cot and she slept 2.5 hours.

Maybe somethign just clicked in her brain who knows, but I CAN tell you started doing that at around the same age your LO is now.

Best of luck hun x x

Nae x

[Dragonbub]

Hello All,
Thanks again for your replies. I have made some adjustments and some progress! I can now put him down in his cot, even if for now it might be one sleep of the day, but he falls asleep in that sucking his dummy and me stroking his head. I have also stopped the "demand" feeding and am sticking to more of a 3 hourly feed schedule. Apparently my little one was topping up so much maybe he was getting too much of the fore milk and not enough of the hind milk, which is much higher in lactose and possibly upsetting his tummy (he had green poos so they said that was too much lactose). I have also dropped down my own lactose consumption (not that I had much anyway).

So here's hoping we've turned a corner!