Just wondering what happens when one child hurts another in most cases? Ovi both sets of parents are informed, but is the child who is being naughty, kicked(sorry for lack of a better word!!) out of care?
My DD is just plain mean. Im at my wits end as to what to try. Shes notso much bitting anymore (thank god!) but she just goes up to my friends kids and pushes them in the face and screeches at them, or she hits them or grabs at them. For no reason, or none that I am able to find out! I want her to have friends! or atleast I want to be able to see my friends without her embarressing me! I have seen the MCHN and she thinks there has to be a reason shes doing it, shes told me how to try and tackle it, but nothing works! I think I will have to go in there again and take another child with me so she can see exactly how DD behaves! I just dont know what to do shes been so terrible these last few weeks Im starting to feel like I dont even want to be around her, and I feel so mean and guilty saying that! She gets my undevided attention all day, we do so many things and still she has to be like this! let alone whinge allll day! I feel like im failing so bad!
Anyways back to my original question, What happens if she acts like this at Daycare? I need to start working part time, mabey 2 days a week. I can ask mum to watch her 1 day but she will have to go into care for the other, but im so reluctent atm! So what usually happens? Ovi I tell them that shes pretty mean to other kids before she even starts, but will they even let her in?
Hopefully if she is around kids more often she will learn it's not the way to behave.
At our daycare there is one boy who hits, he is from a big family (8 kids and another on the way) and he started acting out when he was no longer the youngest. The other kids stopped playing with him for about 6 months, and would ask him to stop if he did play up, he has finally improved.
My DS doesn't quite act the way your DD does but he can get into moods where nothing a playmate does is right. He is also a bit of a hitter and used to bite. But…at kindy he is a perfect little angel. I mentioned this in another thread as well but in that situation he acts totally different. I think it is to do with the fact that all rules apply to all of the kids, maybe a bit of group mentality as well. Maybe that he doesn't have someone there who will love him unconditionally. The teachers are very nice, and teach similar to the way we parent but he is just different there. I picked him up from school last week and the day before we had a monster of a day together. The teacher just raved about him and how awesome he was and such a sweetheart. I know he has that side too, but I get to see both. I just smiled and nodded though, who am I to change their good opinion on him? At kindy, they will probably have a bit of time out from the other kids if they hurt. If she bites it is a big deal at kindy. If you want to mention something so they are prepared, don't make a huge deal out of it as you don't want to set up in their minds that she is a mean kind of kid. She may very well act differently when she is there. Hope this helps somehow. I know it is hard when your kid is the one acting like that to other kids. It is embarrassing and other parents don't always understand that it probably doesn't have anything to do with your personality.
In the childcare centres I ahve worked in, no your child will not be excluded from the centre, they actually have no right to unless there are serious (and I mean SERIOUS) grounds for behavioural reasons. She is a baby and this is what babies do. She is testing her boundaries and learning about being social, trying to express herself since she likely can't talk enough to say what she wants and lacks the self control to be able to stop herself from doing things which we as adults see as being mean and nasty.
Childcare might be what she needs and might teach her about the social aspects of things. The childcarers will be able to give you some behavious management tools to use. She might even be an angel at day care! The centre will have a behaviour management policy, it might be a good idea to read it before she starts and become familiar with it, also read their philosophy and see if it 'feels' good for youa nd it's what you want for your child. Let the staff know how you deal with things at home too. Try to make it consistent and day care and at home. The centre should not do things like time out, or any other sort of exclusion from play techniques of behaviour management (they may move her from a situation/particular child, but not away from the area of play or the other children), they can't do any physical types of things like smacking (it's illegal!). It should be managed with words, talking, explaining and modeling the desired behaviours.
You are not being a bad mum, nor is your DD doing what she does on purpose. It is very normal at her age to act like she is. I know it is utterly frustrating and makes you feel bad for the other children, but don't blame yourself. Just be consistent with her, give her boundaries, give her simple words to say when she hurts another, and show her how you want her to act. It is totally an age thing.
HTH
Last edited by MrsFabuloso; July 25th, 2011 at 08:11 AM.
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Kids hurting kids in daycare?
shes been so terrible these last few weeks Im starting to feel like I dont even want to be around her, and I feel so mean and guilty saying that! She gets my undevided attention all day, we do so many things and still she has to be like this! let alone whinge allll day! I feel like im failing so bad!
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