Is my boy going to be a biter?

[Dr. Tal]

How do you know if your child is going to be a biter? I’m worried that DS might be one/become one.

I have all these questions flying around my head, I don’t know if I’m making a mountain out of a mole hill….

Is it something he’s learned? From where? What can I do to stop him? Is it just a phase he’ll grow out of or is it something I am going to struggle with always worrying about taking him places and who and when he’s going to bite?

My boy is 12 months…nearly 13. He bit me for the first time on July 10th. Well maybe that’s not true. Before he got his teeth, when he was about 8 or so months old he bit my nipple a couple of times, I figured it was because I’d gotten lazy with proper latching. He only did it a handful of times and then stopped, I figured I’d gotten things under control, that I’d worked through it so to speak.

He has 4 teeth now. We had a few close friend over to the house the other day, and we were all having lunch. He wasn’t being ignored by any stretch of the imagination. Everyone was playing with him. We were all sitting on the floor with, I was interacting, we were singing and he was slapping his knees in time to the music. He up and sat on my lap, and grabbed my arm. I thought he wanted a cuddle so I went to cuddle him when he latched on. AND I MEAN LATCHED ON!!! OMG DID IT HURT. He sunk his four teeth in and bit. I’ve done a lot of training with puppies and dogs that bite, so was able to control myself enough not to rip my arm out because I think he’d have taken a chunk of flesh. I told him we don’t bite, biting hurts. Then suck my finger gently into the side of his mouth (where he has no teeth) and pried him off (rather like I would have a dog). Told him again that biting isn’t nice, it hurts, then we went on like usual. No more incidences.

But he keeps doing it He bit DH the other day. Pretended like he wanted DH to kiss him, then latched on to his eyebrow when he got close enough…drew blood. I had to pry him off DH he just wouldn’t let go. He’s bit me on three other occasions, only once did I not have to pry him loose. He’s bit my mum as well. Thankfully I don’t think he’s bit anyone else. But what if he does? What if he bites one of the kids from daycare? He doesn’t let go he could really hurt them

I just don’t know what to do, any help or advice from anyone else that’s had a biting baby/toddler would be really helpful.

[Arimeh]

DS was a biter, he grew out of it pretty quick.

Dd2 is also a biter, we just keep an eye on her and grab her before it happens. Usually it's when one of her siblings had made her cranky so she lashes out.
We're all kind of cautious when she wants a kiss too lol

They do grow out of it, I promise. And it's nothing you have done, some kids are just biters

[~Kaz~]

Oh many hun. I can feel the stress in your words.

Biting is really difficult because it stirs up so many emotions. I am not an expert at all but from my experience (with DS) and reading I think biting is a stage that all kids (or nearly all of them) go through at one point or another. It's usually just a new sensation for a while and can get an interesting reaction from others. From memory, DS was biting at around the same age too. It didn't last long, from memory, a few months maybe?. We reacted the same way as you - tried to stay calm, tell him it's not ok/hurts etc and then moved on. At that age distraction is good. He also bit me while feeding, and did some horrible damage, but I put that down to teething and me not paying enough attention.

In the majority of cases it does pass. At his age, I think you handled it really well. Biting can happen for a number of reasons. I think you keep doing what you are - taking note of each time he does it, what the circumstances are etc and you may be able to identify the 'trigger'. Hopefully, by the time you work it out, he's stopped the behaviour but if he hasn't, then you'll be able to work out some strategies or predict which situations are likely to trigger him and be extra observant. From what you've written, it seems like he could see it as play/fun/game type behaviour - to express his delight or enjoyment or he just gets over-excited?? Just thinking aloud now. Try not to stress too much. He's way to young to be "that" kid yet since it's pretty normal at his developmental stage.

[Cranky Kitten]

Yep, completely normal - as distressing as it is for us, it's generally just a stage they go through and grow out of as they start to become more physically capable and less frustrated. DD went through a phase of biting, and yes it was pretty embarrassing to have it written on her day sheet from childcare that she'd been channelling "Jaws" and biting the other kids.

The way you dealt with it was pretty well the same as what we'd do with DD, though I would usually also remove my direct attention from her for a little while (move away, not play with her etc) until she'd settled down a bit - just gave her a chance to calm down and re-focus plus gave the message that biting wasn't acceptable.