Leaving kids for 2 weeks with a Nanny?

[Freya]

I have a dilemma. Dh and I desperately need a holiday. We're kind of pinned down to a specific time frame to do so without missing out on Ds1 starting school/working in with Dh's work holidays. He is currently overseas with his job til the end of the year so we decided we would bite the bullet and book a trip to Europe for 2wks. Dh for once is actually excited at the idea and we have had no time alone since the kids were born.

The dilemma is the inlaws are balking at coming over end of Dec to watch the kids. Even though I said we'd pay for MILs flight. And that they just said to me recently they hated that they couldnt give us a break on a regular basis from the kids. And the kids godmother isnt keen to do it. My parents are a no go for a multitude of reasons and my sister/his sister arent suitable either.

So now we're left being bitterly disappointed at not having the holiday we deserve or we hire a nanny to watch them while we go.

Has anyone left their kids with a professional nanny?

[[M]umma[M]ia]

So you wouldnt be taking up your MIL's offer?

I havent left DD with a Nanny and I wouldnt, not for 2 weeks. Though I couldnt leave DD for 2 weeks with anyone at all.

[Danielle_NZ]

I'd be wanting the live in nanny around 24/7 for a few weeks before you leave so you can ensure it's a positive match.

[MamaPan]

yep I think you would need it to be someone you and the family had been around for a considerable length of time... 2 weeks is a long time so you would want to know how the nanny would cope and also how the kids would be with her/him.
Maybe you could start with a weekend soon and see how that goes?

I think having all the kids there would help - they would get comfort etc from each other

To be honest, at this stage I couldnt do it for 2 weeks (the mosyt i have left the boys so far is 2 nights w DH and one with my mum) - but MAYBE it could work for you.

[minniemouse]

I used to be a nanny and often looked after the kids while the parents went away, that was with kids i had been looking after for a while. I would go for it if i was you and between now and then approach a nanny agency and tell them what you want and try a few of the nannies out to make sure you are comfortable before you go.

if you are planning on leaving your car for the nanny to use it might be a good idea to go for a drive in it with the nanny driving, i did that for a family that had a brand new expensive 4wd. if possible get them to live in with you for a week and do all the normal things you would do with the kids so they can see your routine, get them to make the kids dinner, do the kids washing etc

[~ Mylitta ~]

My bestie has just started having a nanny come around to their house for dinner and play for a few hours a couple of times a night so her kids can get used to her. My friend's hubby is in the Navy and will be going to sea in a few weeks, and my friend will be out of the house two nights a week. She'll be there when they go to bed, but imagine how scared the kids would have gotten if they had awoken to a total stranger, eep. I think it's a great idea to have the potential nanny come and spend a considerable amount of time with the kids first to make sure they are comfortable with them.

I get major separation anxiety and only left my kids with their grandparents for the first time a couple of weeks ago. My son is 2 and it was his first time, lol! I was rather anxious for the 4 hours. I even get nervous when hubby takes the kids to his parents for an hour or two to let me sleep in. I very much appreciate him doing it, but I still hate the feeling when they are away from me. They on the other hand, are totally fine, lol!

[Tinks]

I wouldn't have a problem with it but I'd want the kids to know the nanny first.

As an alternative, could you fly the kids down to your inlaws?

[Lenny]

You need to have a straight talk to your ILs. Explain what you want and then ask if or how they can help. Can they come to yours? Can they have the kids at theirs? Tell them they are the only option that you really want, but that you would have to consider a Nanny otherwise. Offer to pay the flights (it'd be less than a nanny) and maybe see if a friend can have one of the kids just for a night or two to help them out.
Have you booked your trip yet? Maybe it needs to be done as soon as you get the thumbs up from the ILs - then they can't back out etc (I have a history of someone backing out on me - drives me silly).

Nanny would be ok, but you would need to start the intro process asap.

[nothing2lose]

Honestly? I wouldn't do it. Especially as you are going to be thousands and thousands of kilometres away. But then if I went to Europe I would take DD with us. We have never been on a holiday without her and I don't think we would... I would persist with the in laws.

Good luck!

[nothing2lose]

I just noticed you have a child with Aspergers. Wouldn't that pose a problem with a nanny?? (forgive me if I am wrong. I don't know your background!)

[Phteven]

If you knew the nanny well before hand I don't see a problem.
Can you send them to your ILs instead? Missing a couple of weeks of school is ok and the school might provide work if you wish.
Or could you split it - a week with the ILs and a week with the nanny?
Club med resorts have great children's programs so you could take the kids and leave them in the creche all day and hire a baby sitter so you can have date nights too.
Some of the cruise ships might have children's programs too. A cruise in Canada and Alaska would be awesome.

[Tinks]

P&O cruises have brilliant kids clubs. Friends of mine have been on them and raved about it. They also have a babysitting service for the evenings, you'd never have to see the kids! Sounds like my kind of holiday

[luna moth]

I have been the nanny, and only ever had positive experiences. In general, the kids seem to love having someone different.

Once it was for two kids that both had Aspergers. I had met one once before, but not the other. It wasn't really a big issue, I just got into their routine, gave them lots of flexible space to do their thing.

If it feels right, go for it.

[Phteven]

They also have a babysitting service for the evenings, you'd never have to see the kids! Sounds like my kind of holiday

Mine too lol.

[Freya]

Dh gets really seasick so a cruise is out. The point of the holiday is to have alone time after 5 years of not one second without the kids because we never live near family with Dhs work. We never even had a honeymoon because we just couldnt work it in around his job.

I might wait and see what I can rustle up before I go the nanny route. Im really po'ed that the inlaws are being painful about it. We arent asking too much, esp when they know we a) dont have alot of option and b) really need this holiday.

[Tinks]

Freya, you don't have to justify why you need a holiday without kids. It's a great idea and you two will have a ball!

[LoveKnowsNoBounds]

Could you take the kids to your in-laws and then leave from there? It would be odd staying at someone else's house for two weeks. Maybe they would feel better about it if they were in there own home.

We wouldn't feel comfortable with someone we didn't know. The nanny would have to be someone who had been around for a ling time. I'd persevere with family. Though saying that none of my family would look after my DS for that long unless there was a medical emergency.

[Freya]

Its a remote possibility except MIL works either mornings or arvo's and I dont know if FIL could cope with the kids for a few hours on his own. Plus they have no kid-friendly backyard and only 2 bedrooms.

My only other option is asking my parents. Their divorced and my mother is an alcoholic (not completely useless and she loves the kids so I dont doubt she'd be fine to watch them) BUT if they both came together atleast my Dad can drive and be the sane person in the house. But I dont think DH would go for that idea *sigh*

ETA - not to mention it would be cheaper for us to fly the inlaws over rather than pay for 3 kids to fly if that makes sense? I suppose though I could look at getting kids into daycare over there for some of the days we are gone.