I'm so sick of my house looking like a dump heap!!!

[appletree]

Gah, I'm sooo frustrated! Just a petty whinge really as I would never actually say anything to him...

Df is home with the kids on parental leave while I work full time and I am just so over my house looking like crap all the time!!! There is constantly 3 wire frames hung with washing in the lounge, plus piles of half folded clothes everywhere, dirty clothes strewn across bedroom and bathroom floors, every single surface is cluttered with 'stuff', the kitchen is never clean, he stacks dirty dishes in the sink despite the dishwasher being empty right beside it! Outside is a wreck, inside is a wreck, the only time the kids get a bath is when I do it. I don't even remember the last time there was anything that resembled a meal! I'm so over it, I work long hours at the moment and the whole point of him taking parental leave was so that things didn't fall apart.

Ok, so I admit that when I was home the place wasn't immaculate, but at least I tried and i definitely didn't expect him to come home and do everything. Am I asking too much?? Should I just be grateful that my kids are generally happy and are cared for?

[Marley&Me]

No, you are not asking too much!
He should be able to do everything you did when you were at home. Maybe you should start asking him to do more things? But start with specific things like asking him to fold and put the clean clothes away. Then you can gradually work your way up to asking for more things to be done so he doesn't feel you are bombarding him with chores.

[OceanPrincess]

Peanutter started a thread on a similar thing a while ago... Got a whole raft of responses...

Have you discussed it with him? I have found I need to be really explicit with DH when he is home with the kids as he thinks it is enough that the kids are looked after, anything else is just a bonus... Which I don't agree with at all.

Good luck hun, having just returned to work I'm struggling to keep on top of things too...

[RhiChiChi]

No, you are not asking too much. When my DH was at home and I was working, he cleaned, washed clothes, folded and put them away and dinner was done. The only thing he didn't do was the ironing and paying the bills. IMO your partner needs to step up IMO

[fionas]

No-one wants to come home to a pigsty and have to sort it all out. Can you let him know what worked for you? It's really hard when you first start being responsible for all this stuff and it's hard to tell whether he's just being totally slack or whether he just hasn't found his groove yet.

Maybe work out what are your priorities. Mine would be a decent meal. I know if I leave DP responsible for dinner, he ends up in a complete funk. He's a great cook but HOPELESS planner. So I'm slowly but surely having to teach him to keep it simple while the girls are little. Meat and two veg is far better than aiming for some fancy French meal that won't be on the table till 8pm. Maybe sit down with him and plan some meals so he doesn't have to think, just cook.

Loading the dishwasher - I think you just have to put your foot down on that one. It's as easy to load them in there as it is to pile them in the sink.

Washing - hmmm, can you get a laundry organiser trolley thingy so that at least the clean washing sits in that until it gets put away?

[appletree]

Thanks guys, I came home and the house is looking far better and there was even some sausages cooked, I was very impressed! Maybe we were both just having an off day, I know there were plenty of days when ds was a baby where I just could not cope with getting the house looking reasonable before df got home, and I guess in some ways it's probably harder with a v cheeky toddler who needs 100% supervision and an older sister who eggs him on! Thanks for letting me vent

Fionas, I've never heard of a washing organizer trolley but it sounds exactly like what we need! I might go into the storage shop on the weekend and ask about them! Thx!