3 yr old reasoning abilities

[kelebek]

My DS was 3 in March and has always been verbal since he was 2. He talks to anyone about anything. He has a gerat sense of humour and I can see that he put's things together but whenever we ask him 'why' as in 'why did he do something, why won't he do something, why is he whinging, why is he crying' he often says cause but no real explanation.

I don't like to prompt but find that I am often suggesting trying to help the situation How do I help him to explain himself? I often know instinctually what is wrong but sometimes my partner is the one to be asking him and I think that is not helping

Any ideas/suggestions?
TIA

[~clover~]

I don't know, but sometimes I get a bit more... 'cause my wanted too'

I think it gets better with age, when they get a bit better at putting their feelings into words. Thats my experience with the girls anyway.

[Lenny]

My boy is the same age. He does exactly the same thing. I am trying more and more to keep getting it out of him. Repeating it back "you are crying 'cos". Sometimes i get nowhere (yesterday i was trying to ellicit information from him and half way through he said "Now i'm going to sing twinkle twinkle". Oh, so the conversation is over then? ).
If he's crying i often ask him if it's a 'hurt' or a 'sad' cry. Then i ask what will make the hurt or the sad better (He usually suggests a kiss, a cuddle, a bandaid etc). If it's whinging I question if he knows what he wants, and if he thinks that using that voice will get him what he wants, and then what kind of voice would work better.
It's hit and miss. I think he is learning to think things through a lot better now. The crying/whinging still happens, but it lasts less time.

As for the other half, I can't help with that. My DH is not really patient enough or interested in hearing DS1 out. Hopefully, once i can help DS1 work at explaining and communicating, then it will just happen with DH.

[bon]

It's a developmental thing. Kids that age are still developing logical thinking and reasoning skills, and don't have the ability (or the words) to really explain things such as feelings or their own behaviour. It will come

[onthefly]

DS is also a great communicator, but still has issues explaining himself at times. It's a sloooow process I think. Just keep giving him language, he'll eveutally start using those tools himself (i hope!). I prompt with suggestions - DS is pretty good about denying or agreeing - yes I'm disappointed, or no, I'm not angry. Though he's as likely to deny just for the sake of being contradictory, i find that he'll later use that language to explain himself so it kinda gets through... sort of...

[kelebek]

thankyou all. It's nice to know I am on the right track mostly and will definitely be trying and be patient with me.

What is getting me the most at the moment is the whinging and changing his mind!! arghh

[kelebek]

thankyou all. It's nice to know that it is a phase and that I am mostly on the right track. Will try and be a bit more patient with him and help him with his language more.

What is getting me the most at the moment is the whinging and changing his mind!! arghh

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

I never answered DS's "why"s with "because" - I always gave a full explanation. At age 3.5, he could come up with his own reasoning. He makes up stories to explain things to hmself happily. I never let him use just "because" either - had to be a full explanation! I'd been doing it for long enough.

[Pandora]

It's a developmental thing. Kids that age are still developing logical thinking and reasoning skills, and don't have the ability (or the words) to really explain things such as feelings or their own behaviour. It will come

+1 to that.

I remember DS being 3ish (he was in 3yo kinder) and my having no idea what was wrong with him when he felt sick because he couldn't tell me.
He managed to say his tummy hurt once and I said what does it feel like? "Chocolate".

It will come with time.

[BlackCat]

You may find if you lead by example some of the feeling stuff will come too. Im an emotional person so if I am happy, sad, stressed, angry etc and ds can see and has taken note of my change in behaviour I explain to him that "Mummy is feeling sad because..." or "Mummy is frustrated because of...". I never relised the effect such could have until one day I asked him what the matter was and he said that he felt sad because of something or other...

[Ozziehoffy]

I have an A4 piece of paper which has a LOT of different faces on it, showing different emotions. That is something that they can start to use they say from around 2 years old to help them express the emotions. They understand the faces more than the "label" for the emotion. I can scan it and email it to you if you like PM though, cos I forget to check back in and also not on every day so I totally forget where I replied haha

[Mathilda]

I'm afraid you are asking too much from your little one you will get it only when he is ready. Don't get frustrated he has quite progressed for his age and you should be happy with that.