Yet another Biting thread

[leckert]

Okay basic story is ...

DS is a biter BUT only at childcare. (If he does bite at home it's only when he's tired).

They have tried to keep him away from the other kids that he seems to have issues with. He has just moved up from the baby room to the toddler room and it seems to be more serious now than it was. He used to bite a reasonable amount in the baby room but not as hard. We were hoping he'd grow out of it fairly quickly.

He has managed to bite and leave a mark on another child's bottom THROUGH the nappy . He's also had to be dragged off another child by the back of his shirt and had to have a carer unhinge his jaw so they could take him off another child on Friday (in front of another parent). It's gotten so bad that they're suggesting that if he was at another centre he may have been asked to leave. Thankfully my CC isn't likely to do that (they were set up to help children with special needs as the owners had a special needs child that they couldn't get satisfactory care for). But it hasn't been an easy conversation to have at CC on Friday after a week from hell with his sleeping (and high schoolers being painful). The carer that spoke to me was at pains to tell me I wasn't a bad parent. I know I'm not, but it's not easy to hear that your child won't stop biting. (We did have a good last week but that was because DS was still getting over a family holiday interstate so he was sleeping 2+ hours in the day)

They've tried separating him from the other kids (time out sort of thing) in the group activities. He's been known to go back to the same child as soon as he'd been taken off them for a second or third attempt. I'm not sure that it's not related to teething, I think we're trying to get our 2yr molars but I'm not sure about this. We're going to send him to CC with teething gel and get that applied every 4hrs from Monday.

Does anyone have any suggestions about deterring the behaviour?

I'm looking at trying to cut down the night feed time (apparently I'm a human dummy at the moment at night 1 or more hours of feeding at a time ) I'm hoping this might encourage more sleep from him at home so he's less tired at CC and that way it should reduce the biting. (This is a whole nother thread that I've posted in the BFing forum)

CC also suggested there might be something like the stop-biting-your-nails paint that I could get to put on his mouth after he bites - not sure what it's called or where I'd find this. Basically working as a deterrant on the taste after biting (but knowing my DS he'll actually like the stuff). So I think I'd like to try this.

I'd prefer to have natural remedies or gentle methods if possible but I'm ready to try anything really.

I think some of the biting is normal 2 yr old behaviour, some is frustration, some is tiredness and I've no idea if some is teething related.

I'd like to be reducing the biting from 4 or more to maybe one fairly rapidly.

It's hard to get DS to sleep more if he doesn't want to even if he clearly needs more sleep - he's been down to one day sleep for ages and it's typically only for a hour or so at a time. Bedtime is anywhere between 7 & 8:30pm, we generally start bedtime around 7 and some nights he's out quickly, other nights it takes longer. Typically he's asleep by 8. (If we try to go to sleep earlier and we managed to do so, he wakes earlier - like 4/5am instead of 6/7am - and this kind of defeats the purpose of going to bed early).

[Miss.B]

Oh hun, that's a tricky one. I'm still trying to picture him biting that child through the nappy......what a bite! lol.

Ok, my suggestion is waaaaaaay out there, but have you tried biting him back a bit to see how it hurts?

[leckert]

yeah I was a bit after hearing about that bite


problem is he doesn't bite me - except for the occasional nip while feeding. I know the idea is there but I don't think CC would do it iykwim... But I'll consider it for next time he bites at home (we usually manage to pull him off us before he actually bites and say no biting). He has been bitten back by another child after biting that child (and that didn't really work for long)

[Miss.B]

oh yeah, I forgot he only bites at CC. Bugger! Hope you can find a solution soon hun

[loulabelle]

Dd is just coming out if a biting phase, thankfully it was my ds and occationally me that she mainly did it too (that I know of anyway, cc hadn't spoken to me about it).

I dont have any magic tricks unfortunately, except for lokking for her triggers and trying to avoid them. The main thing she hatred was people in her space, you could tell when she was getting a little overwhelmed so I would remove get from the situation. That's a bit hard for you though. The usual things like being tired, unwell, bored also made it worse.

Thankfully she has just seemed to grow our of it, that's come as shes gotten more words and its able to communicate a little more. She still does occationally, but I let her know its not ok and ill also show her the marks she had left and let her know how much it hurt.

I'm sure as sure youre lo will grow out of it in time. Try noth to beat yourself up about it too much. Its the same as hitting or tantrums, they just dont know how to control their emotions just yet. Xxx

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[Nai]

I found that the biters at CC (my kids were the ones being bitten) tended to be the younger ones in the room so this may be exacerbating his issues. They also tended to be the ones who were getting frustrated at being younger and not being at the same level as the other kids in being able to communicate and get what they wanted/needed so they were lashing out. Is he talking much or able to demonstrate what he wants with signing? I would ask CC if they have any strategies with helping the kids with their communication if that is the case.

Sorry, not sure if that was much help at all but I hope it is something he grows out of soon. And as the parent of 2 bitees I can assure you that I didn't blame the parent or feel any ill towards the biter, nor do the girls - and that all children who have bitten my kids have grown out of it!

[leckert]

Nai, thanks for that reassurance about being a parent of the bitee.
I know one of his main triggers is being tired but the boy won't sleep as much as he needs . He is one of the youngest in the toddler room but he was mainly instigating the biting when he was in the baby room too. He goes a bit quieter when around people for the first time during the day and then warms up with the talking (not shy).
We haven't signed at all at home, don't know if they do at CC either. Might look into it. (The CC is fairly multicultural - a resonable number of nationalities represented across the 3 rooms - baby, toddler and kindy)

tried googling last night for more strategies - all they (lots of pages that I looked at) said was watch the child and remove from the trigger (not easy when your not able to be there to watch and his main trigger is tiredness). I didn't seem to find much else (except that I shouldn't be biting him back)