Have you sought 'professional' help with parenting?

[Lenny]

Interested to hear if you (or 'someone you know') has actually sought professional parenting support or help. By this i mean inviting someone into your home OR going to appointments with someone to help with your parenting. This could be in a general sense, or for a specific issue.

If I was my boss I would send me on a training course or something, because i seem to be struggling with my current position.

I've read books, I've trawled the net, but i've yet to actually feel like i've found some idea or philosophy that works with me and helps me to get the results i am after.

I have briefly spoken to DH about it, but he thinks any kind of counselling or 'advice seeking' is showing weakness and 'airing dirty laundry'. It would be very hard for me to go to a parenting course or similar as i have no-one i can reliably leave the kids with.

Have you sought a professional's help? Was it good? Did it help?

[littlelara]

I haven't, but I do get parenting emails from Michael Grose, and if I was really struggling I wouldn't hesitate to do a course or bring in support. What do you have to lose?
Like everything I think you take it all in and use your intuition to find what fits for you.

[Beach Mama]

I haven't done it but lots of people here recommend the Parent Effectiveness Training. Apparantly it is really great. I tend to get to the end of my rope (like I did recently in a thread) and then things seem to even themselves out.

What sort of things are you struggling with hun? Are there specific things or is it just that you feel you need help in general? Are your expectations too high for yourself or do you think you are failing your kids in some way? I recommend reading THIS blog in general and that post in particular.

[Just Me]

This is actually kind of embarrassing to admit but ...

when I was teaching, I was a behaviour management specialist and I was a liaison teacher at a special school for kids with severe behavioural difficulties and part of my role was to teach parenting. It's embarrassing because now I know how clueless I was and I cringe at some of the stuff I used to teach.

I mainly taught MYCP (Management of Young Children Program (MYCP)), though we did run through some of teh PPP stuff with parents as well as Glasser's reality therapy where it was relevant.

Most of the parents were struggling though and I was mostly focusing on things like teaching them how to give instructions to their kids and make sure they followed through with ensuring the child followed the instructions. I did some skilling for specific situations (PPP stuff).

I think the hardest thing about what I was teaching parents to do is that I don't really think that way about being a parent now that I am a parent myself.

So that is my embarrassing story ...

I guess the whole point of my story though is to say that not all parent 'experts' are actually experts at all. And from doing lots of reading, most of the theorists have just gotten ideas about parenting because they did something with their own kids and it worked.

I have read PET, like Tanstar mentioned above and I found it a really useful and practical resource. I find it easier to read though but I think if there was any kind of option for a parenting program like that in my area, I would probably go for it. Most of what is on offer here locally is "Growing Kids God's Way" (otherwise known as Childwise). There aren't a lot of options here unless they are done over the web but I think I would rather read a book in that case.

[BlackCat]

I have actually attended a course called "Parenting the Strong Willed child" because our child happens to be strong willed. Not necessarily a bad thing in a child, but I wanted guidance on what I should keep doing and what might be antagonising the situation. It was based on the book by the same name by Nicholas Long... We still use some of the techniques today and our DS is thriving more than ever and I get to keep some of my hair!

[Lenny]

Thanks for the replies. I did really want to hear people who have actually done it. It's kind of all well and good to say you would - but actually doing it is another thing altogether if that makes sense. Thanks Black Cat. I am going to have a look. My problem is not so much of strong-will, but i will still look.

I have PET book. Course is too hard to arrange where i live and my lack of child free time. PET works, I like it, but it is not making a dent in my actual issue.

I don't think i have high expectations, but it's good to bring that up.

Thanks for the story JM. I have wondered that. And we all know that there is no 'one' thing that works for all.

BBL

[Beach Mama]

Pretty sure Divvy and Kelly have done PET but sounds like you are looking for something else. xoxo

[OceanPrincess]

Hey Lenny

I attended a "Positive Practical Parenting" course through my local council. Cost like $20 or something, for four sessions of two hours each.

Basically we went through a bit of back story, where we all were in our parenting journey and I tell you I got such a kick out of realizing I wasn't alone in struggling with my kids!!

Anyway it was run by a behavioral specialist, a mum of three, and she was fantastic. Basically gave us a whole lot of tips and techniques and strategies to try. She was great - got me a bedtime strategy that worked and still works today.

I was struggling, I still struggle, but it helped.

[Amity]

I've done Parent Effectiveness Training. 27 hours over 9 weeks. It was fabulous. I'd recommend it to anyone.

I also did a five night residential sleep school at the O'Connell Family Centre in Canterbury. This was when DS2 was eleven months, and was waking overnight 20-25 times. And you do read right - that's about every 20 mins. I have no idea how I managed to work full time that year and still function.

I've also sent clients to do parenting courses at various places and have heard many people speak about various courses, all as part of my ongoing professional development. I have no doubt that the P.E.T. was the absolute best course for me with the issues I was having with my children.

All the best.

[onthefly]

What? You can't find all the answers on Belly Belly?
It's a bit impossible signing up for parenting courses when you've got young children I'm a muddle-through, fake-it-and-hope-the-kids-don't-realise kinda parent.
Can I ask Lenny, what sort of 'results' are you after?

[Lenny]

Thanks everyone. PET works well (when i do it properly!) with lots of areas of our day. Me and DS1 are getting better at it all the time. I looked into the course too, but i couldn't see how i could do it.

I have no more ideas and i need to get some improvement ASAP.

I think i need someone more skilled than me to help me.