Please tell me it gets better my beautiful dh has taken ds out for a couple of hours so that I can have a sleep but here I am on bb as I'm having massive anxiety separation issues. ds is fine of course as he spends loads of time with dh and favours him to me..... dh has taken him out only a couple of times but it's been within 10-15 mins drive of home and this time he's heading about 40 mins away to visit a friend of ours who also have a ds about 6 months older ours. I know it's a bit silly but I'm sure there are so many bb mums who have experienced this. we pretty much do attachment/gentle parenting, we co-sleep, I breastfeed and I am with ds all the time or at least we are in the same house even if he's being looked after by dh. dh is also around all day every day pretty much and he tells me how hard it is for him to go off to work 2 days out of 8, my gosh I don't know how he does it... I don't know how anyone goes away from their baby 5 days a week. Each to their own but for us, the way we are choosing to experience being parents and our relationships with ds it's really hard I must sound like a nut case!?! I know dh will take care of him and there won't be a drama, I am just being a sook......
Last edited by Cherished; August 25th, 2011 at 01:12 PM.
: :( what a dufus, I can't change the typo in the thread title..... oh well, I have blurry eyes
I hear you hun and it does get easier. When they get home you'll see baby is fine and next time wont be so bad. Hugs. Take advantage of this time to do something for your self- have a bath, do a facial, or even catch up on dvds you were meaning to watch
Oh Cherished its so gosh darn hard. I have separation anxiety and when I was sick in bed and I didnt want to let DD near me so she didnt get sick too and we were in the same house for godness sake! Its just so awful . It certainly doesnt sound weird to me and Im a lot further down the track then you. Just like you, I hope it does get better. At least you know DS is with DH and that he is doing almost everything you would be doing you poor chook!
Big squishy cuddles from me to you sweetheart. Now let me think what you'd say to me....hmmmm. Right.
Take that nap, and fall asleep thinking of your beautiful little man. Then when both your boys get home you'll feel even more blessed and happy than ever (if its possible for you!)
I really think this will just take time for you and DH to adjust too, having small breaks from DS, and whats wrong with that happening slowly and in comfortable timing for everyone involved? Nothing. Now, no more tears hun, have your well earned sleep <3
I'll be checking back later to see how you're going
Love and lentils!
xx
Aww thanks so much girls I cried a bit then went lay down exhausted. Had a 2 hour sleep and woke up to a sms from dh telling me that everything was great and he was going to drive around a bit longer as ds was asleep. Turns out they had a fantastic time and ds didn't miss me as all...... didn't say mum at all...... didn't even look around for me Yeah I want him to function with out me but couldn't he have missed me just a little bit..... then when he got home I only got a mildly warm reception. *sigh* oh well my little baby is a little boy now and I guess he's just fine with daddy. I think daddy will get to take him out every week while mummy has a sleep! Thanks for the support everyone... I'm going to get a well earned foot rub from dh now!
Your DH is very good medicine. Top attitude babe too with the little fella, he did and will always miss you. But yay for a happy independent little man!
hun. I started leaving DS for the first time when he was about your DS's age and it was heart wrenching.
FWIW, I think he's a little young to be able to verbalise or even demonstrate that he missed you ITMS? 1 year olds are so easily distracted, he might not have noticed you weren't around given he had such a great time (or at least been able to think about it for any length of time like an older child can) and there isn't a great sense of time at that age either. Even recently, my two year old described his dad's 3 week absence from his life as Daddy being gone ALL DAY! Give your DS 6 months and he'll be able to hold thoughts of you in his head for much longer and he'll notice more and be more verbal about it too lol!!
Awww Cherished, sorry I missed your thread!
Everyone has given you such great advice - I can see why you like sunny so much, you two are a great match! Little steps, slowly and surely and you'll be fine. And if you think about it logically, you don't really want him to spend the whole time he's away from you miserable and missing you, do you?
I agree with Kaz too. DS gets really upset if DH leaves, and DH feels just horrible doing it to him, but literally 30 seconds later he'll look across the room and see something that catches his eye and it's like a switch. Flick, totally fine! His way of saying he's missed us is to present us with a 'gift' - usually whatever toy is nearest - then drop it and wander off. Apparently the almost ignoring thing is typical behaviour at this age.
Try some positive self-talk, distraction/diversion therapy (chocolate and a bath work really well for me) and don't forget how sweet it will be to see DS again after a short absence. I can't believe how excited I get seeing DS again after being away at work every Monday. It's absolutely the best thing about going to work, getting to see him again! And, as you know, I LOVE my work!
Registered User
Separation Anxiety
my beautiful dh has taken ds out for a couple of hours so that I can have a sleep but here I am on bb as I'm having massive anxiety separation issues. ds is fine of course as he spends loads of time with dh and favours him to me..... dh has taken him out only a couple of times but it's been within 10-15 mins drive of home and this time he's heading about 40 mins away to visit a friend of ours who also have a ds about 6 months older ours. I know it's a bit silly but I'm sure there are so many bb mums who have experienced this. we pretty much do attachment/gentle parenting, we co-sleep, I breastfeed and I am with ds all the time or at least we are in the same house even if he's being looked after by dh. dh is also around all day every day pretty much and he tells me how hard it is for him to go off to work 2 days out of 8, my gosh I don't know how he does it... I don't know how anyone goes away from their baby 5 days a week. Each to their own but for us, the way we are choosing to experience being parents and our relationships with ds it's really hard
its so gosh darn hard. I have separation anxiety and when I was sick in bed and I didnt want to let DD near me so she didnt get sick too and we were in the same house for godness sake! Its just so awful
. It certainly doesnt sound weird to me and Im a lot further down the track then you. Just like you, I hope it does get better. At least you know DS is with DH and that he is doing almost everything you would be doing
you poor chook!
I cried a bit then went lay down exhausted. Had a 2 hour sleep and woke up to a sms from dh telling me that everything was great and he was going to drive around a bit longer as ds was asleep. Turns out they had a fantastic time and ds didn't miss me as all...... didn't say mum at all...... didn't even look around for me
Give your DS 6 months and he'll be able to hold thoughts of you in his head for much longer and he'll notice more and be more verbal about it too lol!!
Little steps, slowly and surely and you'll be fine. And if you think about it logically, you don't really want him to spend the whole time he's away from you miserable and missing you, do you?
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