DS16 went to a party last night which was supervised but off course I didn't know anything about there being alcohol. I recieved a phone call at 11.30 p.m from the boys mother saying DS is really drunk and one of the boys had called an ambulance. I arrive at the house and DS is lying on the ground where he had been for 1hr, barely concious and the ambulance was 90min away. I thought if we could get him into the car I could get him home to bed. Each time the boys tried to get him up he got so angry and aggresive, at one stage I just burst into tears seeing my boy like that. Once I could get some answers from these boys they told me he had drank a litre bottle of vodka. Then I panicked and just wanted to get him to the hospital. It took another hour to get DS into the car and to the hospital. He was breath tested at 0.01 and started to sober up so I took him home. He is very sorry for himself and remoresful, I'm praying he has learnt from this lesson. I totally understand how hard it would be to supervise a party, I just don't understand how he got as drunk as he did.
What a horrible way to learn a lesson . Is he hungover today?
When I was in that stage, my mum would always contact the other parent to ask about alcohol, supervision, who else was invited ect, before allowing me to attend. That way the supervising parent knew I was only allowed x amount of drinks ect (which were supplied by my parents). Kids are sneaky tho, and will do as they please half the time. Not looking forward to thatstageof my parenting!
Oh my goodness! He is very lucky he didn't get very ill. As someone who got absolutely blind drunk the first time i encountered alcohol we don't know that we have to take it slowly so we drink it all very quickly and so when the affect takes over we get very sick. I was sick for a week afterwards. I would be having some stern words with the boys mother and asking how in the world your son firstly got to a bottle of vodka secondly why he was able to drink it all to himself and why she didn't think to call and ask whether it was ok for him to have a drink. She doesn't sound very responsible at all.
this may also be me being very protective and feeling sensitive to this issue but my brother is going to have a mental illness for the rest of his life because of alcohol abuse and drug abuse. A teenagers brain isn't ready for the copious amout of alcohol some teenagers have. I really hope that this is a good enough lesson for your son and he doesn't do it again. And i hope it makes him drink in moderation in future.
Big hugs to you and your DS Dianne. I think that if he is likely to be quite wary of drinking so much (or even at all) for quite some time and I guess that's the positive part of this experience that you can both take. It would be interesting to hear what he has learned from the experience - how he has defined it, as opposed to how we would as adults. And I also wonder how his friends will react on Monday at school. Drinking may be cool but it's usually not cool to get that plastered until blokes are older but that's only my assumption. I hope they don't treat him like a hero as that may erode his remorse.
FWIW, I wouldn't take up any issue at all with the other parent. I know technically your DS was under their supervision but he is 16 and I think it would have a greater impact if your discussion with him put the responsibility for his behaviour firmly in his court. Going to the other parent, only encourages him to shift some of the blame to the other parent as well ITMS. He was capable of making the decision to drink that much, got hold of that much and (I daresay) kept his consumption hidden from the parents so it's hardly their fault IMHO. This might be a good opportunity to do some education around the effects of alcohol related brain damage - with all due respect (and ) to LMS's experience with her brother, alcohol is more likely to affect things like memory and executive functioning/planning etc (so thinking skills) rather than cause mental illness per se. The two (drugs and alcohol) often go together but it's usually the drugs that cause mental illness symptoms while alcohol is often used to self manage symptoms ITMS. I'm getting off track but didn't want you to think that alcohol would cause a mental health problem.
ETA: I haven't read up to the minute research on alcohol lately but from what I understand they have found that binge drinking can do as much damage as regular, more moderate intake to the brain and it only takes a couple of years of heavy alcohol consumption to affec the brain in kids/adolescence whereas it can take a lot longer in an adult.
I understand totally how hard it would have been for the parents and I truly don't blame them, I am taking him over there today to appologise for his actions. He doesn't see what he did as being "cool" or anything he is very embarassed and sorry for what he did.
Kaz the hardest part of dealing with all this is that we have spoken in great depth with him about alcohol and the dangers and he knows first hand as we have alcohol issues in the family.
I am so sorry that you have had to go through this experience. If it helps, I did the exact same thing at his age. Only did it once. Never again. Now I don't drink at all.
My job is working with people with an ABI from AOD. I think that might be what LMS is referring to.
Oh Dianne Teenagers are hell aren't they. DD1 was drinking at 13 (we found out later) but at least your son is very sorry and I doubt if he will be so eager to have another one (at least not soon lol) He is a sensible boy so just talk to him and hopefully he really means it when he says "sorry"
I couldn't be more proud of DS16 right now. Last night he went to a party, he told me there will be alcohol but he wouldn't drink and for me not to worry. He had some strategies in place in case he felt pressured. I had another talk with him, not to accept drinks that others give him and if he does drink to please drink in moderation ect. I waited up until he got home at 11.00 p.m and he arrived sober .
Dianne - that is good to hear. I always did get the impression that your DS had a good head on his shoulders. I'm not saying that he won't experiment again but at least when he told you about his plans for attending this party he kept his word - he was honest with you and respected himself. I bet you slept well last night.
I did sleep very well, thank you ladies. I told him how proud I am and he laughed and said "I told you not to worry", he told me he did drink but only had one. It's a good feeling too that he was honest with us and kept his word.
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DS16 first experience with alcohol
. Is he hungover today?
to you.
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