Am I being selfish??

[ClareBear28]

Help!! I would like to get some opinions/perspectives on my predicament...

Our son is now 26 months old, and my husband and I have decided that we would like to have another baby. We are building a new 2 bedroom house at the moment on my in-law's property adjacent to their house on 80 acres. My best friend has been implying that we shouldn't be having another baby as we won't have the room and that it's not fair to make children share a bedroom.... She has got me doubting whether we should be having another child.. problem is that I can't see us being able to afford to buy a bigger house any time soon, and I turned 32 this year with a family history of menopause in the mid thirties so I don't want to wait only to find that the decision is out of my hands IYKWIM?

I understand that as the children get older, sharing would be a problem, but I'm thinking by that stage we may be able to afford something bigger.. Am I being selfish? Is wrong to have 2 children sharing a bedroom in a 2 bedroom house? Please be honest with me, because I am starting to think that maybe I am wearing blinkers and not looking at reality Maybe we shouldn't have another child?

I should also add that the framework is already up for the new place so unfortunately we can't add a bedroom and the 2 bedrooms that we are building are not small by any means (approx 4m x 4.5/5m).

[Nai]

My kids share a bedroom and they love it! Not selfish at all.

[human bean]

No it is not wrong, children share bedrooms the world over, I wouldn't let that stop you having another child. Pffft to your friends opinion, that's all it is, don't let it bother you!

[NaeNae]

No offense but your friend has NFI

I know a few kids who have decided they would rather share a bedroom than sleep in their own rooms. And that size room for 2 kidlets won't be a problem gosh thats nearly as big as our master bedroom and could easily have separate spaces.

I think it will only become a problem as the eldest starts entering teenage years but by then you may want to add an extension on or something.

No you're not being selfish at all

[krysalyss]

They should absolutely have their own bedroom, not to mention a bathroom each and preferably their own swimming pool

There is nothing wrong with sharing a bedroom, and I find it hard to believe out of everything you could feel guilt over, your friend is trying to make you feel guilt over that. Where you may find you have some issues with is when the baby is young and waking at night, but you could easily have them in your room while they are in a cot and move them into a shared room later. HTH.

[OceanPrincess]

They should absolutely have their own bedroom, not to mention a bathroom each and preferably their own swimming pool

There is nothing wrong with sharing a bedroom, and I find it hard to believe out of everything you could feel guilt over, your friend is trying to make you feel guilt over that. Where you may find you have some issues with is when the baby is young and waking at night, but you could easily have them in your room while they are in a cot and move them into a shared room later. HTH.

And well said!

There is never a perfect time to have a baby - or should I say, the time YOU and your DH choose to have a baby is the perfect time. If you wait until you move to a bigger house, which may not even happen by the sounds of it, then you run the risk of not having a second at all.

You do what is right for you. And they will be fine sharing!

[Boo Boo]

jeepers in some countries there's 10 kids in a room that size.

[nickle730]

Your friend has her priorities all screwed up! Separate bedrooms are way down the list of importance when raising kids.

[onthefly]

For goodness sake, that's a silly reason not to have a child.

[BeautifulMadness]

My two boys will be sharing a room soon, and we live in a 3 bedrm house lol

u can never have enough room it seems

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

My sister would have happily shared a room with me until she was in her mid teens.

I, on the other hand, nagged for my own room from age about 6 and got it a little later (we had an unused "guest" room). DH hated sharing too, even with his brother at bording school (where they share rooms).

Guess what - it depends on the children and the space available! I had cousins who happily shared bedrooms until they moved out. They just changed which two shared and which one got her own room every few years. I've known cousins of different genders share for years happily too.

[Lenny]

I'm with kysalyss - they need their own bathroom too.
And where are you guys going to sleep? I assume the other bedroom is for the live-in nanny??

Pfft. Clearly not many of us agree with your friend!! Tell her that if you are lucky enough to bring another baby into this world, you plan on putting up a decent-sized tent in the back yard for it.

[Floweryfields]

I don't think that's selfish - sharing a room would be fine - but when they are older it would be an issue if you have a girl/boy combo you will certainly face privacy concerns later on.
What's the reasoning behind only building a 2 bedroom home? Is it possible to go up to a 3 bed?

[Astrid]

Oh and don't forget you need a parent's retreat. I have been told that I "must" have a retreat where we can go to after the children have gone to bed. Apparently the normal lounge room is not adequate for parent retreating. If the children have gone to bbed what are we retreating from

[feeb]

We have a 3 bedroom house but our boys will be sharing as soon as DS2 leaves our bed!!!

Not selfish at all.

I shared with 1 of my brothers until I was 10. When I moved myself out to another room.

[skybie]

I personally couldn't do it, but if you think it will work well why not do it?

[wysiwyg]

We live in two bed flat, I have two children, we are planning to live here for at least five years, they are not sharing at the moment because DS only six weeks but I hope from six months they will be. Eventually they will need their own as are a boy and girl, but I shared with my sister until went to uni, and I have turned out ok . My two I believe will benefit from our location and we can't afford bigger in this area so we will stay put until we can. If you go back a generation or so sharing was common and the idea of having own room is really quite new.

[Amaunet]

I am having baby #2 at the moment and even though we have a 3 bedroom house, my two boys will be sharing a room once bubs is out of the bassinet in our room. I want one more but my DH is worried about what will happen when the kids are in their teens. I wnt to boarding school so shared space with between 1 and 4 other girls until I was 17. My two brothers shared until the eldest moved out at 19 ( he bought a house) I guess my idea is bedrooms are for sleeping and getting dressed/storing clothes and you don't need much space for that