thread: Third time mummies

  1. #1
    Registered User

    Aug 2011
    Adelaide
    238

    Third time mummies

    I'm nit looking forward to taking home a baby to dd2, I've only just stopped weaning her 5mths ago and we have a real bond! With DD1 it was fine, she has and always WILL connect better with dh and they 'get each other' dd2 cuddles me for the last part of the night, lots of 'I love you mumma' during the day and cuddles, she doesn't have separation anxiety or anything I just worry what's going to happen if I need to leave her with a friend during the night before bubs, we've just moved interstate and my mum won't be arriving until I tell her I'm in labour and she's on the nxt plane... It's a really tough time for me, I dnt want her to be jealous I'm finding I'm not exactly excited about dd3 because I'm stressed my bond won't be the same with dd2....




    ---------
    Leah and Dan
    Lucy 5
    Minnie 2
    Pippi due 29 sept

    YOU are what YOU eat!

  2. #2
    Registered User

    Nov 2004
    Australia
    1,247

    Oh it's a tough transition for your little one! My middle son is a real mummies boy and is already stressing about mummy going to hospital. You will find things will fall into place. Just try and include her in baby activities as much as possible as it will make her feel wanted.

  3. #3
    Registered User

    Dec 2007
    Sunny Qld
    14,682



    It won't be the same, but that doesn't mean it will suck either. All relationships change when a new baby comes and joins the family, but that doesn't mean they change in a bad way, its just different.

    I'm sure you will have a fantastic relationship with your DD2 - after all - you get to see her develop from being the "baby" to being the "big sister". Its an amazing thing to watch.

    xxx

  4. #4
    Registered User
    Add Butterfly Dawn on Facebook

    Aug 2008
    Climbing Mt foldmore
    2,894

    There will be jealous moments, from both your kids.
    I talk to mine about how they are feeling but I dont try "fix" their feelings, I tell them Im sorry they feel jealous and ask them if more cuddles would help. I try involving them as much as I can and making sure I still do the things I that I know are to each kid and heaps of cuddles.
    We also involved them alot pre-birth, got them talking to my tummy saying good night etc.
    Im sure it wont be as bad as what you fear

  5. #5
    Registered User

    Sep 2005
    In the middle of nowhere
    9,362

    OG, I could almost write your post to the letter, except for me, my DD was the same as your DD2.
    You'll be surprised. My DD had never been away from me when I had DS. She rolled right along with it. SHe took on that big sister roll like a pro. Just as I expect my DS to. He's very much mummy's boy. In fact my DH lives on an Aboriginal community a couple of hundred kms away so the kids are with me 99% of the time. We've moved interstate recently too.
    What I saw in DD I'm certain I'll see in DS.
    Your relationship will change. That's a given, as are a few teething problems, but she will deal with it in her own way. Allow her to feel what she feels, and allow yourself to feel what you feel.
    I made sure I took some time out with just DD too occasionally.

  6. #6
    Registered User

    Aug 2011
    Adelaide
    238

    Thanks girls.... Everytime I think about it I get emotional, I don't want things to change... I wasn't like this at all with dd1....

    Kim- how hard is being interstate?!? Specially the 'you' time....


    ---------
    Leah and Dan
    Lucy 5
    Minnie 2
    Pippi due 29 sept

    YOU are what YOU eat!

  7. #7
    Registered User

    Sep 2005
    In the middle of nowhere
    9,362

    babe. It's HARD. I'm actually in Alice. I'm coming to Adelaide in Early Oct by myself for some special timeout (thanks DH). Would suggest a coffee, but you might be ...uh busy

  8. #8
    Registered User

    Feb 2006
    Mornington Peninsula, Vic
    1,624

    It will all fall into place hun...I can't tell you specifically how....but it will ....Both DD and DS1 are mummies kids, because DH works overseas, 6 weeks there and 2 weeks back home...with DD - well she was pretty jealous when DS1 arrived and it was difficult...DS1 is also a mummie's boy and I was worried that it would affect him badly but no he has turned into a fantastic big brother, lots of cuddles and kisses and protectiveness for DS2. DD is now DS2's little mummy - helping me with big girls things which is just gorgeous. It truly is magic watching your little ones all interact with each other and slot into their little 'roles' in the family. I know you are stressing about it, but it will work, everyone will find their niche, it will take maybe a few months but it will be just great. Good luck. x

  9. #9
    Registered User

    Aug 2011
    Adelaide
    238

    babe. It's HARD. I'm actually in Alice. I'm coming to Adelaide in Early Oct by myself for some special timeout (thanks DH). Would suggest a coffee, but you might be ...uh busy
    Haha well I am ALWAYS certainly up for a coffee. Although I dnt drink it!! Will u be in Adelaide for long?

    I think my biggest reason for anxiety is the fact 'things' did change between me and dd1, although I had 'bonding' issues with her anyway and still have troubles now I love my relationship with dd2, I'm so scared about leaving her with friends over night when I go into labor so hoping I go in the day time as she loves my friend I've known here for a long time.. Ergh... I hope things just fall into place and I suspect as you girls have said they will but ergh it's hard to imagine...


    ---------
    Leah and Dan
    Lucy 5
    Minnie 2
    Pippi due 29 sept

    YOU are what YOU eat!