18 months - sleep regression and/or separation anx?

[kelsbels]

We've had lots of small things going on for the last month or 2, with the main one being DD has started going to mil's one day a week while I'm at work. Normally she goes to my mums, but she's had a knee replacement and has been out of action.

Since she's been going to mil's she's really become clingy, and now her sleep has turned to absolute ****e for seemingly no reason, simply that she wants to be with me. Even hubby can't settle her which is really unusual. She's not a naturally clingy child and normally bubbles with confidence but she's gotten shy, screams when I leave her on work days (at mums she waves goodbye and happily goes to them). Mil is definitely far from the perfect carer but could this one change really completely have changed my child or is this something that comes with this age? It's driving me insane, not to mention I am worried about whether I have caused long term problems by leaving her with mil. Makes me so sad to see her clearly losing confidence and needing me all the time.

Any advice? I feel like the worst mother in the world right now :'(

[starangelk]

Can you talk to your Mil to find out what's going on? I know that would be difficult. My only other advice would be to really cement a routine for bed and really stress to mil that it be followed to the letter. That way your dd will feel safe knowing what to expect regardless of who is putting her down etc. I
So sorry this is happening. It's so hard

[kelsbels]

She'll just think I'm attacking her Mil is very full on, leads DD around from toy to toy, doesn't leave her to do her own thing and she just feeds her alllllll day. The day after she is there is like hell for us, DD is very difficult and velcro and generally just grumpy. I just think there is no bond there with mil.

I dunno, I feel sad about it.

[kelsbels]

Thank you though! And yeah she goes down well at night but is waking and wanting me to cuddle her or sleep with her, which we've never had with her before.

[Arcadia]

It could be a phase, but it sounds like your mil is having an impact. Can you ask her how she goes down for her day nap? If she is leaving her to cry it might explain some of the clingyness....?

[SammyRo]

I posted a very similar post in the last week or so! DS, who has been a fantastic sleeper, and super happy baby, has turned into a clingy, sooky baby, and needs rocking to sleep. He then wakes once a night and takes at least an hour to be cuddled back to sleep. For us, it does coincide with an increase in days at childcare (2 to 3), but it could also be a sleep regression or separation anxiety phase. DS is about the same age as your DD. Here's hoping its just a phase for both of them lol!