I just don't know what to do :(

[Teeki]

Sorry for the ramble that's coming, I just need to get this out.

I'm exhausted. I used to have 'the perfect baby'. She fed well, was always happy, had two 2 1/2 - 3 hour naps during the day and slept through roughly every second night - otherwise she'd wake once for a feed for about 30 minutes and go straight back to sleep. Then she started being fussy during the day. Wouldn't feed properly, rarely napped. I put it down to a wonder week, but it's the longest wonder week in history. Night sleeping wasn't too bad - bath at 6/6:30, feed to sleep around 7:30, but she'd wake every two hours.

I just figured it's one of those things that passes right? Except it's gotten worse. During the day if she shows hungry signs (including sucking on my chest) I'll offer the breast. She won't take it. She'll latch on for a bit, then start pulling around and scratching. So I wrap her to calm her down (that used to work), but she just gets frustrated that she can't fling her arms around. She does maybe five sucks before pulling off and fussing. That continues until she's just screaming at me. It's not let down - it doesn't matter if there's milk there or not, she screams. She'll only feed properly when she's gotten completely exhausted and starving and just gives in. Right now it's after 10 and she hasn't fed properly since an hour long session at 4am. She did maybe five minutes of fussing at 8, and won't even try again.

Then there's sleeping. She'll sleep while she's feeding. That's about it. Yesterday and one day last week she napped for 2 hours straight, and that's the longest she's done in I don't know how long. She's usually lucky to get 30 minutes of sleep during the day in total. She'll cry herself to sleep in the car if we have to go somewhere, but then wakes as soon as I get her out and won't go back to sleep.

Nights are the worst. The routine is the same. But the last two nights she's had a good feed and started to fall asleep like normal. Usually she'd be out for the night from then on. But now when she's finished she comes off and cries. No warning, no reason, just comes off and cries. Sometimes she'll take the other side, sometimes not. On Friday night this happened at 6:30, and we spent 3 hours just walking around with her screaming, until she finally exhausted herself, had a feed for 10 minutes and fell asleep. Then she woke up an hour later. Then another hour later. I eventually brought her in to bed, but she still just cried when she finished feeding. I was shattered yesterday, praying last night would be better.

But last night the same thing happened. Finished a feed at 6:30 and came off crying. Wouldn't take the other side. Eventually she got herself on the left (her favourite for some reason) but as she'd already emptied it she just got frustrated. If I offered the right you'd think I was murdering her. She calmed down around 8:30 and finally fed to sleep at 9. By some miracle, she slept for three hours. She was calm and sleepy so I brought her to bed and fed her lying down. She stayed there for an hour before thrashing around, scratching and crying. Walking around with her didn't work, she'd just bury her face in my chest and scream. Eventually DH took her out to the lounge for two hours.

He brought her back in asleep - 40 minutes later she woke crying. I fed her for another hour. She slept for an hour. This just goes on. She's probably getting a maximum of 8 hours sleep in 24 hours. She takes an hour to feed at night and cries when she's finished. What the hell is going on??

We were supposed to go see my Dad for his birthday today. But there's no way we're driving two hours away with a screaming baby, only to have her cry some more when we get there (especially at my Mum who is kinds scary around babies) and then have a battle to get her to sleep and come home.

So I'm sitting here in tears because I'm just at the end of my rope, I don't know what to do with her. Nothing works - co-sleeping, sling, pram, car. It's just one of us walks around with her until she's completely exhausted and finally sleeps while she feeds. I can't believe she can go from doing everything so well, to doing nothing but crying and fussing DH just managed to get her to sleep in the pram, but now they're back and she's awake again. I feel like it's me - she screams less when DH is holding her, so he pretty much walks around with her until she'll finally feed again. I could never get her to sleep in the pram, she just cries at me until I take her out. Then cries at me some more.

I'm just feeling so useless right now

[skybie]

oh hunny, big big big hugs, its so hard at times with littlies.
When i used to be at the end of my tether with DD2 id hand her over to DF who would always manage to get her to sleep for me, i think they sense that mum is wound up. often i'd have to remind myself to breathe when she fussed at the breast of would just scream and scream, a few deep breaths in and out and count to ten.
She sounds very similar to my DD2, i used to put her in the sling and walk her up and down the hallway for hours trying to get her to go to sleep of a night time, usually we'd get to bed about midnight.

IAre u able to take her to a gp to check for reflux and things like that? might be worth a shot.

Massive hugs hunny, you might not believe me, but it will pass eventually, i know how frustrating and unenjoyable it is, but it does get better. Can u take her to bed with you of a night and leave ur milk makers out so she can find them herself while you're sleeping?

More hugs, you're doing a fantastic job, dont ever forget that xxxx

[Kazzo]

Bigs hugs, sounds like me and DD2 but it started for us at 5.5months. I ended up going to a osteopath and got her checked, she did some work on her belly, left shoulder and head. Made a big difference. The other thing I tried was letting DD2 sleep on her side or belly. The first time I put her to sleep on her belly was a night and she slept for 9 hours and did not wake up once. Now she always goes down on her belly. Have yu tried laying her down to sleep on her belly?

It is hard when you just don't know what happen to change your baby from a dream baby to something completely opposite. I hope this never ending wonder week finishes up real soon for you.

Wanted to add, my DD1 was diagnosed with silent relux at around 3 months, have you noticed any times she is almost vomiting? Maybe get her checked out by your GP too.

[Junglemum]

Kaytee. We have had similar times. Ours is due to reflux, and medication has made a massive difference. Worth getting her checked out if you think the screaming is a pain cry.

The only thing that works to calm miss P down, and that's never a guarantee either, is a bath. Sometimes on her own or sometimes with me, it's the only way i can stop her crying. Nothing else works, like you i try the carrier, the pram, a swing, every position you can imagine, all to no avail. Although we have much more success with her over my shoulder rather than lying down.

[Teeki]

Well she finally had a feed at 11. Looked like she might go to sleep too, her eyes were so red. But no, she came off, smiled at me and then started crying. I got her up to burp her and she vomited a little, and then a bit more about half an hour later. She has been vomiting a bit more lately and considering she really prefers to be upright I thought of reflux, but dismissed it because of her age. Would it be normal for it to start now? She hasn't shown symptoms of it before.

I can't take her to bed with me - that use to be a fix for everything - because lying down is just no good for her, she doesn't like it anymore. I've been pretty good at staying calm too, until last night. Before then I wasn't really stressed so she wouldn't have been picking up on that. She'd fuss straight away, before I even had a chance to get stressed.

I've also thought of teething - she's constantly putting her fists in her mouth, and will try to put toys in her mouth (except for teethers). She's very dribbly and gets red cheeks. That and the whole '4 month growth spurt & sleep regression'. But it's been going on for a while and she's not 4 months yet. If that happens too, what kind of sleep has she got to regress to??

She finally just fallen asleep. After crying in my arms she finally put her head on my chest and fell asleep. It just breaks my heart that she's crying like this and I can't fix it for her I've put her in her cot because my arms are killing me and she can't sleep in the sling, so I'm just hoping she stays there a while. I think the only reason she slept so long yesterday, and if she does sleep today, is because she's just so exhausted and the crying takes it out of her.

What is the earliest she can get her four-month vaccinations? She's four months on the 16th, and seeing as I have to go to the Dr for that anyway, I'd like to get her checked over. But don't want to get her vaccinations too early either.

Thanks so much for your replies. It's nice to just have somewhere to let it all out, to people who have been there before and know what we're going through.

[lise]

Big hugs to you, it's so tough isn't it. Your dd sounds just like DS, he was diagnosed with reflux at 5 weeks and started Losec soon after, made an ENORMOUS difference. He used to only sleep on me, and feeding was a nightmare. I found he liked the shower, and also bouncing on a fit ball (apparently the up and down motion mimics the movement they feel in utero?). We also took him to an osteo and I definitely think she helped too.

Not sure how early they can get the 4 month vaccinations but might be worth calling to ask.

Hope she settles soon and you can all get some rest xx

[delphmoon]

Firstly big big Its darn hard work luv and your not alone.

reading your post I too am thinking reflux or wind. I was going to suggest popping her on her side to sleep. That seemed to work with DD. Maybe also burp her while she is on her tummy- like lay her across your arm with her belly on your arm and burp her that way.

Im not saying this is the answer- but its worth a try.

Meanwhile....breath hun. Take long deep breaths....this to shall pass!!!

[Miss.B]

Oh hunni, I couldn't read without replying. First of all big hugs . One thing I have learned with my DS is that no day is the same, what has worked today might not work tomorrow. I just go with the flow these days. I can't really help you with the b/f as I ff from fairly early on, but my DS's 'routine' changed once he started teething. That was around 8 months. Before that though, he used to suffer from fairly bad wind, so I finally settled on Infacol which worked wonders. Just reading your post it sounds like it might be a combination of perhaps a growth spurt (I blamed everything on that! lol) and/or reflux and/or wind???? Could be worth looking into the reflux and wind thing...Big hugs again and GL, perhaps you could give your MCHN a call?

[onthefly]

Oh poor little thign.
could be a few things going on. I'd get her checked out for reflux and the like. Illness & teethign are other possibilities.
It's also likely an age thing too - everything they did before tends to go out the window at around 3-4 months.

[Hunter Mum]

Just wanted to send you some big hugs. I can sympathise with how you are feeling. It reminds me of DD very much. I would consider the possibility of reflux and quite possibly teeth moving. Have you thought of amber teething necklaces? I personally found it made a difference to DD. As for the reflux. We had to use losec, but also had a lot of success with osteopathy if you are open to alternate treatment.

You are doing an amazing job. Just deal with one thing at a time. Sending much love, patience and strength at this trying time.

[Teeki]

Thank you so much everyone. I'm feeling a lot better now - it's amazing what even a little bit of sleep can do for you lol.

DD started to get better that afternoon - she didn't fuss as much and actually fed from the right a few times - was nice to stop it feeling so much like a rock! And then that night, the big shock, she slept for 7 hours We pushed her bath/bed time routine back a bit, it felt like she wasn't ready to settle that early. So when bed time came she settled in for a good feed, fell asleep and stayed asleep for 7 hours. It was bliss lol.

Then yesterday, she had two one hour naps in the morning, and get this, a three hour nap in the afternoon!! She does still fuss a bit when she's tired and finds it a bit hard to go to sleep, but she's napping right now. We didn't change anything so I guess she was just going through something. She's stopped vomiting after every feed too, so I wonder if maybe she had a bit of a bug?

I don't know. But again, thank you all for your kind words and advice, it does mean a lot. I'm still kind of expecting her to go back to no naps and horrible sleeping, so if this sticks around it'll take some getting used to lol