On second thought... I'm actually quite offended!

[StrawberryFields]

This is just me having a bit of a vent, but doing it in here with a hope of avoiding the breastfeeding brigade!

So the child health nurse came for a visit Tuesday to weigh the girls and make sure they're thriving (which they are, they've doubled their birthweight nearly! ).

I'd gotten an email from Karicare that morning explaining that because of the WHO guidelines they need more than the girls birth certificates for me to be able to get the bulk formula discount because they are under 6 months old, and that if I couldn't get one from our doctor, one from a midwife or CHN would be acceptable too.

Our doctor is away for a few weeks, so I thought brilliant, I'll ask the CHN today, and I'll be able to order some more tomorrow.

Apparently QLD Health are 'baby friendly' and so she can't write a note condoning me formula feeding my babies without permission from her boss, and even then it has to be extenuating circumstances.

Why the **** is it any of their business how I decide to feed my children, choice or no choice, and what are they saying, that I'm not baby friendly? That I'm not looking after the best interest of my daughters because I don't breast feed? Are you kidding me?! They're being fed, they're thriving, they're perfectly healthy, and everybody who we deal with in the health profession, (and the baby photographer) comments on how amazingly content and well behaved they are, so what is so wrong about what I'm doing that QLD Health wont just write me a simple note saying that they're being fed Karicare?

It wasn't until that afternoon that I realised how incredibly offended and angry I really was about it, and now I just can't let it go! I did the best thing for my babies, myself, and my family and I just feel like I'm being discriminated against and punished for it.

The nurse herself apologised and explained that is just policy, so I don't blame her, I'm just so angry at the system and how unsupportive it all is. A new mother is a new mother, and we all deserve equal support, no matter how we feed our babies.

Just makes me even more glad I chose to have the girls in a private hospital where they didn't judge us, and supported us every step of the way.

/end rant.

[berrme]

That is ridiculous! So it is OK to buy it at the supermarket and pay huge amounts but not to buy it in bulk? Why should you even need a birth certificate to buy formula in bulk? I have BF all 3 of my bubs, but if I had decided to FF for whatever reason I would not expect to be made to feel like a second class mother by the health system. You have every right to be insulted and frustrated.
I hope that you can get the letter from a dr quickly and put this out of your mind. :hugs:

[Just Me]

I think it is incredibly offensive too. I understand the logic behind limiting options for people to encourage BFing but BFing that is forced is not going to be a positive experience anyway. I really don't think it is right to force anyone to make choices they are not happy with. You have your reasons and I don't believe that you should have to justify yourself in order to receive the bulk discount - either they offer it or they don't.

I don't understand either why the nurse doesn't have the authority to give you what you need. She is the one having contact with you, why don't Qld Health trust their employees to be able to provide that support for patients? It's not like she is writing a prescription for drugs, she is discussing how you will feed your babies, and I am sure that she is more than qualified to discuss that with you (probably moreso than her boss). I would be frustrated if I was the nurse in this situation as well.

Can you go to a different GP? There are lots that will write you what you need as long as you go in and say clearly what you want. Most GPs that I have seen here don't have a clue about babycare so they probably won't even ask you many questions, if any at all. At least the nurse would have been qualified and known what she was actually talking about ... sorry, slight vent of my own there.

[StrawberryFields]

Well the bulk thing is only for multiple parents, so by having multiples I qualify regardless, its just that the WHO makes the company need these things - which in itself is wrong if you ask me.

JM - I used to go to Dr Rouviere at Kirwan Family Practice, but she's gone! I go to the doctor so rarely that she's left town! I can't get in to Dr. Forster until the end of next week which is when our pede will be back anyway. Looks like I'll have to wait!

Berrme - Thats exactly what it feels like, being called a second class mother. I don't think I've ever felt so insulted in my life

I'm thinking of writing a letter to the minister about it because the more I think about it the more insulted and abandoned I feel, and it happened in my own home, in front of my parents, and my husband. I'm very rarely lost for words but in that moment I was speechless.

[Charlotte91]

Oh, SF.
That's friggin sucks!! How horrible!! I FF DD as well (due to her being prem and sick and supply issues, I started her on formula at 8 weeks), and I got told of by the CHN.

Yes, I know they all say "breast is best". But some of us just can't or choose not to.

Massive massive honey. I'll abuse them for ya!!

[[M]umma[M]ia]

OMG how stuffed up is the system?!? Im sorry you are dealing with this hun, its not what you need right now. I would be furious aswell

[sahbear]

Sorry you are dealing with this, it completely sux.

On a brighter note, so happy to read how well your girls are going! I was thinking about you the other day, hoping things were going great for you all!

[~Kaz~]

Write that letter hun. a) you will feel better and b) it might lead to a change in policy so the next mum doesn't go through the same thing. cc the CHN in too.

I'm sorry the system treated you that way.

[emc2]

Yes I feel very much the same about Qld Health, I was put through a lot due to them being a little bit too pro breastfeeding.

I was comp feeding and the comments from about half the staff - from the RBWH to the Community Midwife Service to Child Health, many have been quite discriminatory but not only that, many comments were just plain WRONG - given my circumstances.

So similar but not the same experience here.

[Maruschke]

Wow! That policy sucks!

big hugs

[~Ash~]

That is just ridiculous!

Is she going to email you one through once she talks to her boss or something?

You shouldn't need it in writing - it would probably be enough for it to come from a qld health email address.

That is so bad - you totally have a right to be offended!!

[Lolpigs]

What on earth does "baby friendly" mean? How insulting! Formula or BM, you gotta feed your baby.

I would be very unhappy as well and would be looking to make major complaints.

[Party-of-five]

I would be angry too.

[Gigi]

Strawberry, i agree it's ridiculous you should be put thru the loop.

But unfortunately, whether you use formula or breastmilk, BOTH options get judged harshly by medical staff, complete strangers, friends, acquaintances etc.

i had a emergency c in a "breastfeeding friendly" hospital, but the posters in the hospital saying that, was the sum total of the bf-ing support i got. So, go figure. I quickly realised, it was the LAST place, i would be getting bf-ing support.

I was astonished, to find out that it seems EVERYONE thinks it just fine, to pronounce their judgements, (on how you feed your bub), when it's none of their business, and they don't know the story anyhoo and it's not their child/ren.

I believe mothers think long and hard about how they end up feeding their child, and the last thing they need is judgement on that decision. Support yes, judgement no. The decision is SO individual, so many variable things to take into consideration.

I have come to the conclusion that big organisations spend lots of money (and policy) SAYING they promote bf-ing, but when it comes down to the actual REAL LIFE support, when it matters, nada, zip. (thank goodness for the ABA to fill the gaps, for those who know of them, have milk, can bf, bubs are able to suckle etc).

I hope you get your bit of paper you need soon. One thing goes south (your usual GP goes away), and it all goes awry.

Having a baby, and all the accompanying judging i got, (on my decisions for the welfare of my bub) has made me develop a thicker skin, and realise (over the last five years) that i DO have to fight for her, i AM her advocate. But it was such a shock, to have all those confrontations in the first year, i was unprepared for it, hormonal and sleep deprived - not the best time to have the strength to advocate.

best of luck Strawberry, no-one will ever know your babies like you do.

[Floweryfields]

What on earth does "baby friendly" mean? How insulting! Formula or BM, you gotta feed your baby.

I would be very unhappy as well and would be looking to make major complaints.

Yes I think it would be very baby unfriendly not to feed them anything at all!

[Tinks]

That's ridiculous.

[starangelk]

Ditto what Tinks said. I'm sorry SF.....I think you are doing a great job.

[beansbeans!]

I cant believe the loops you are being made to go through.
Although I have to question the CHN's comments. My gut feeling is that she isnt telling you the truth. Just something about that sounds fishy.

I would be making a phone call to her boss to ensure that what she has said is the truth, and then asking them to email you what you need to get the bulk buy. And you should definately write a letter of complaint about the situation.


(And can I just say that I am definately pro-breastfeeding, but moreso about pro-choice. Your girls are thriving by the sounds of it, and thats all that matters in the end)