No Father to Walk to down the Aisle

**Beautiful Disaster** · October 13th, 2011, 03:18 PM

So I got married in Janurary and didnt think too much about this at the time but after wathing the Kim Kardashian wedding today it hit home that I feel like I missed out on the 'dream' part of at least my wedding.

So my father or sperm donor as a more accurate title has never been a part of my life. I did manage to get in touch with him when I was 18. Since then I have spoken to him a handful of times and had told him about being preg getting married and the birth of his grandson.

When I got married I didnt think much about having my mum walk me down the isle but today it is really playing on my mind.

So my question?

If you dont have a father or father figure that walked you down the isle, Who did and how you do feel about it when you think back on it?
How do I get past these feelings that I didnt get the wedding I always dreamed off.

Am I alone feeling like this?
TIA

**skybie** · October 13th, 2011, 03:24 PM

Ive never met my real dad, my step dad is.my dad and raised me from when I was a yr old but my mums partner of ten yrs is also a major part of my life and I dont want to upset either of them so my brother will be walking me down the isle

cuse the full stops!

**Mum2twoBoys** · October 13th, 2011, 03:25 PM

My father is alive, but he molested me as a child. So I had my dh walk me down the aisle and all the bridesmaids walked down the aisles with the groomsmen. I have no bad thoughts about it. I tend to think about the parts of my wedding that I enjoyed, including the part where I was looking out into the crowd of family and friends who were there to support me (embarassingly this brought tears to my eyes). But my story is totally different. Dont get me wrong my father was at my wedding as I have forgiven him but I didnt think he deserved the right to walk me down the aisle.

**Beautiful Disaster** · October 13th, 2011, 03:27 PM

Ive never met my real dad, my step dad is.my dad and raised me from when I was a yr old but my mums partner of ten yrs is also a major part of my life and I dont want to upset either of them so my brother will be walking me down the isle

cuse the full stops!

This is why I wished I had a brother lol

**skybie** · October 13th, 2011, 03:30 PM

if i had a choice it would be my grandpa, but i dare say that by the time DF makes an honest woman out of me, he wont be around

**tracyh** · October 13th, 2011, 03:41 PM

My dad passed 4 years before my wedding and I walked down by my self before walking down the aisle I was quite upset took a few minutes by myself and got a feeling that he was with me ( might sound stupid to some) but I did feel as though he was there with me in spirit. My only regret about my wedding was my dress we couldn't afford a white dress as my husband to be was laid off work 2 months prior to us getting married and we were also 8 months pg but I married my soul mate and dad was there in spirit.

**LaDolceVita** · October 13th, 2011, 03:42 PM

Both my parents had passed away by the time I was 16 so I didn't have my mother or my father to walk me down the aisle. My Grandfather did though and I'm so grateful for that! I had beautiful people who loved me and were proud of me at my Wedding and I'm honoured to be able to have had that

Just like everything in life I think 'good & bad' is mostly our perspective on things, try to focus on the positives of your wedding hun, try not to waste your time worrying about the things you don't like when there's nothing you can do to change them? At the end of the day you married your dream man and had your dream baby to create your dream family! Maybe it was your dream wedding afterall

x

**Sopdet** · October 13th, 2011, 04:38 PM

I know how you feel Kylz

My biological father is no longer in my life, I will be having the man who helped raise me after my father went, walk me down the isle, we are blood related but it isn't the same, I wish my dad could walk me down the isle

When the time comes to plan the wedding, I will have to make a decision how I get down the isle (maybe I could wait with the celebrant/priest & get my DH-to-be to walk down the isle?)

**Phteven** · October 13th, 2011, 04:41 PM

I got a lift to the venue with DH but no one walked me down the aisle.
I'm the kind of woman who can walk 10 meters or so without assistance

**snikkers1** · October 13th, 2011, 04:44 PM

My Father died when I was 16 and it was so hard when it came to getting married to think of anyone else walking me down the aisle as it wouldn't be the same so DH and I talked about it and we decided that I would walk in and then DH wuold walk down the aisle and get down on one knee in front of me and then walk arm in arm back up the aisle together, he said it would be like my Dad being with me going in and him coming and getting down on one knee would be like asking my dad if he could take my hand and then I would move forward with him from there, It was perfect I wouldn't have thought of a better way still brings tears to my eyes and on teh day it was right.... I felt like my dad was right with me going in to the church.

**Cassius2** · October 13th, 2011, 04:46 PM

My dad (sperm donor...love the term and stealing it

) didnt walk me down any aisle either!

Instead i got my gorgeous Opa (grandpa) to walk me down. he has always been a father to me (even helped raised me throughout my childhood etc).

I love that he walked me down the aisle...he was there when my was in labour, he was there to drive us home from hospital. he watched me grow, he helped me celebrate all my special moments and milestones and....he loves me.

that's what it's all about really, sharing that special day with people that love you and want to share your happiness

**~me~** · October 13th, 2011, 04:58 PM

My Dad walked me down the aisle. I actually didn't want him too, he had an ABI and was pretty unbearable to be around, I did it to keep the peace. I wanted someone else who was more signifant in my life. I still had a memorable and beautiful day as it was all about the man waiting at end of the aisle for me.
If you have or had a good relationship with your Father, then that's great you can share your special day with him.
If not, choose someone who has impacted on your life in an important way and always will, man or woman or stand tall and go it alone. Just my opinion.

**Beautiful Disaster** · October 13th, 2011, 05:01 PM

See I had NO man help raise me mum did it all alone and I refuse yo talk to my woman beating grandfather let alone have him walk me down the isle.

Sorry to everyone who has lost parents ur strong people

**Phteven** · October 13th, 2011, 05:03 PM

Sounds like you had the perfect person to walk you down the aisle. A perfect wedding isn't about conforming to the cookie cutter ideal it's about celebrating your marriage in the way that suits you.

**dantri** · October 13th, 2011, 05:08 PM

I'm lucky to have a good relationship with my dad and that he is still around but thought I'd share my story. I'm also really close to mum. And I couldn't imagine not having mum there so they both walked me down the aisle. Both of them were so happy with the arrangement. If my parents weren't around I'd have had my brother. Failing that my FIL who is like a dad to me or my DH. And I just love the idea of having my son/daughter walk me down the aisle. If DH and I ever renew vows I'll get my kids to walk me down for sure!

Hugs to all you ladies. I have no doubt that your dads were all there with you and proud as punch with their little girls! Those who don't have good relationships with their fathers, there's nothing wrong with going solo, with your DHs or whoever you want. That goes wedding wide, its your day. Do it your way!

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

**The[cookie]Doctor** · October 13th, 2011, 05:25 PM

Kylz

It broke my heart not having a father to walk me down the aisle.
I would have gladly taken a step-dad but he left too.
I still think about it and it still stings.

BUT I did have my two younger brothers walk me down the aisle instead, at the time they were 13 & 17.
It was very special that they got to do that and I think they loved it too.

OT but what stings more is seeing my husband love and adore his kids (particularly now I have a daughter, and I saw my sperm-donor-father for the first time in 8 years not a week before she was born) and wondering why the hell I had to miss out on that?

**Cranky Kitten** · October 13th, 2011, 05:42 PM

I too was molested by my father, and am no longer in any form of contact with him (thankfully). I chose to have my wonderful daughter walk me down the aisle to meet my husband and her stepdad - we walked down together, then she placed my hand in his as we both gave her a quick kiss and cuddle before she went to go stand with my bridesmaid.

A lot of the people commented later on how sweet it was that she got to do that and for us it was a symbolic thing to say that we are now a family.

**Jennifer13** · October 13th, 2011, 05:42 PM

I'll be walking myself down the aisle (maybe with our DDs). After my upbringing, I think I'm the best equipped to escort myself! Much like my adolescence...

I'm looking forward to it, demonstrating that I'm my own woman.

My younger sister had my mother walk her down the aisle. This is the 21st century!

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