HELP! 3mth old day napper Velcro baby won't go into a sling
Hi
I really need help with trying to work out how I can get some basic things done around the house with my 3 month old DD. She is a Velcro baby during the day. I have tried wearing her in a ring sling, an ergo baby, a hug a bub and a soft form carrier from a friend. She tolerates for a few minutes regardless of whether she is in the cradle or upright holds then she starts screaming. I have tried BF while being worn but that doesn't work very well & the screaming escalates. She only wants to be on my lap dozing and feeding all day if she can. I have also tried her in a rocker and a swing both of which she might tolerate for maybe 5 or 10 minutes absolute max. She won't sleep in either of them, only in my lap. I have tried taking her for a walk in the pram thinking the vibration would help soothe her to sleep but again she will tolerate only a few minutes then the screaming starts. Today I ended up carrying her and pushing the pram home from our 20 minute walk.
I am finding all of this very difficult to cope with as the household jobs pile up around my ears & bills & other papers pile up on the kitchen table. I feel so disorganized and out of control that it stresses me. I have no family around and have to wait for DH to come before I can get anything done. Sometimes even getting some food is a challenge! Yesterday I was in tears because DD cried so much as I tried to get things done. On top of that my mum had a stroke 2 months ago and I am now looking after all of her affairs & it's overwhelming how much there is to do.
Any ideas that others have that might help would be appreciated.
I feel your pain. Huge hugs to you. Its so bloody hard when they just won't let go.
My DD2 was very much like how you have described your LO. Occasionally (and sorry, but only occasionally), I would give her a feed while propped up on pillows on my bed. She would then doze off on my shoulder or chest and if I was very, very careful I could slowly slide down and eventually roll her off me onto the mattress. The bliss never lasted more than 30 minutes at the absolute most, but it at least gave me the chance to have a very quick shower, make a sandwich, or god forbid just be limpet-free for a small window of time. If your LO prefers being across your lap can you maybe put a blanket, flat nappy or something across your lap with her on top so you can try and drag her off all in one when she's asleep?
Big to you. New babies are exhausting enough without the added nightmare of one who you can't put down.
Hi hun,
I'm sorry to hear of your troubles with your DD being a velcro bub, it must be pretty hard I'm also very sorry to hear about your mum, I hope she gets better soon. No wonder you feel like you're losing the plot with whats been happening! I'm not sure of what to suggest except finding a different way to carry her close to you during the day so that you have your hands free to do things. My DS didn't like any slings/carriers except mummie's arms too. My SIL ended up carrying her DS in the baby bjorn carrier most of the day as he wouldn't settle any other way. Perhaps you can try a different sling/carrier? What 'sort of' worked for my DS (I'm a bit ashamed to admit ) was a vibrating bouncer I got from Kmart for $30 and I used to plop him in front of the TV for 1/2 hour or so so I could do things.....sometimes he'd fall asleep (rarely unfortunately) often he'd just be happy watching TV. He loved the vibrations. When he was 5 months old, I used to feed him his purees and first solid foods as he was still not sitting up by himself. I hope something works soon for you.
B xox
I have tried feeding her in bed and rolling over & putting her down but that only works at night. During the day I feed her on a pillow so I can try to sneak away when she's asleep. I might get 10 min or a bit longer if I'm really lucky but she usually wakes up screaming coz she's not on me
Bugger! They're little monsters aren't they. Just as well we love them so much. I know its so much easier said than done, but try and just forget the other stuff around you that you know you should do, but just can't. I know what you mean though cos when I'm not on top of things I very quickly feel like I'm going under and losing control. If you can, do big cookups one day of the weekend while your DH looks after your LO. You'll get sick of spag bol and casseroles, but at least they're something you can cook in bulk and then freeze so one meal a day for you is effectively already done.
Sorry lovely but I don't have any more advice. Hang in there. My DD2 is now a gorgeous independent little miss a lot of the time and the hellish times seem to fade in my memory.
My dd is exactly the same, she didn't tolerate a baby carrier at that age either. Bad news is I am still struggling with naps with her at 8 months old. Good news is she loves being in the carrier now and will quite happily sit on my back whilst I get things done. She will even fall asleep on my back. She didn't really settle in the carrier until about 4 or 5 months when she could have her legs spread comfortably, she hated being froggy. At 8 months she also likes to explore the world around her and so isn't on me all day long. So it does get better. Hang in there. I struggled those first few months with her, especially as I had 2 small boys to look after as well.
Thanks for all of your replies (some of which I missed first time replying to Lulu - that's how long it takes me to do things these days!)
I am going to try to keep persevering with the ring sling as I find it the quickest & easiest to put on and off. The others are way too complex with a screaming baby. The thing I have noticed with the carriers tho is that she doesn't like to sit - maybe it is the position of her legs? She always kicks her legs about tying to stand up, which is her favorite up position outside f a carrier.
Try sitting her in the sling with her feet sticking out. I can't really explain that, but basically so her bum is on the bottom edge of the sling and her feet are dangling, but the bulk of the sling is firmly supporting her back. Pull it nice and tight and she won't fall out.
Try resting her on one of your shirts (unwashed) while you feed her to sleep so she has your smell with her when you sneak away, and put a nice big photo of your face in front of her so when her eyes flutter open she'll see you and go back to sleep.
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