Grumpy, moody, nasty 13 year old boy

[fromscratch]

Grrrr!
Needing to vent.
My 13 year old ds is one grumpy, moody, nasty little poop.
I'm loving all the alpha male crap! NOT!
All the talking over the top of everone,
the no your wrong, without the knowlagde to back himself up.
Must argumentitive behavour be the domain of the teenager?
Not to mention being followed and big ears listening in when dh and I are talking about adult stuff especially when dh has specificlly moved away from the general population to talk adult talk.
When I mean adult stuff I mean stuff relating to my medical condition and adult relations type stuff. Not things 13 year old should be privy to. Although he was big earing today into a conversation when DH realised and said rather loudly something in regards to "if I mow the lawn will there be sexual favours?" DS scampered rather quickly at that and when dh went down to the lounge and came back up to the bedroom he said ds wouldn't look him in the eye and was red. I know I shouldn't have but I chuckled. If you knew my dh you'd know he was all talk in that department.
And the contempt he has for everyone righ t now is overwhelming.
And I catch him hitting his 6 year old sister again can I pummel him back. thats not a question rather a statement of frustration.
Nothig is working with him. There is no currency that I can find at the moment. Not even hs beloved sports. sigh! Am frustrated. Other than draw and quarter him I'm at a loss.

[AnyDream]

My DD is 13 and we get a bit of attitude from time to time. One strategy I find very helpful is to make her stand there and repeat whatever it was she just said that was rude/stroppy/whatever in a way that is polite and respectful. That includes body language. If necessary she repeats it several times until she's got hold of herself. I also help model other ways to say what she wants to, or help her identify what it is she really means to say (often the rudeness is frustration about a related issue but not the thing they're having the huffy over). This works because it shows you're actually listening but also asserts your right to be respected at the same time.

I've also threatened to discontinue chocolate/coffee/sugary treats if grumpy behaviour doesn't improve. We also confiscate things out of her room (electronic gadgets work well here) and if the behaviour continues so do the confiscations. Perhaps try confiscating sporting equipment (it's one thing to be grounded, it's another to have to turn up at training without your gear, kwim?). And always check the simple things first - is he going to bed on time, or does he need more sleep? Is he really having problems elsewhere and the bravado is just a decoy (eg for the fact that he's struggling at school)?

[AnyDream]

ETA - the hitting - absolutely not acceptable. That would be punishable with a 15 minute time-out in the naughty spot in my house, because that's 4 year old behaviour and he is old enough to control himself in that regard. Followed by a full and sincere apology to his sister. And if he kept doing it then the time outs would get longer, and the consequences a lot more severe.

[BeautifulMadness]

you have put the fear of god into me lol

im now dreading when my boys r that age


i coach 13 yr old girls at netball...and i tell ya some of the stuff i hear from their parents.....alot of the parents seem to ban them from their sport or going out....

but if he acts like a child id be treating him like one

[fromscratch]

scaring you was not my intention.
As a general rule, he's a lovely, thoughtful delightful person. Actully he is very thoughtful, if he's thirsty and go's to get himself a drink he'll offer and make a drink for anyone who asks, Atm he is doing more than his fair share of housework while I'm sick he vacs, sweeps, loads and unloads the dishwasher (when asked but does grumble about the dishwasher) He puts on a load of washing on most days and hangs it out to dry without being asked. Since I've been sick he makes me breakfast everymorning (with a grumble but I do wake in the middle of his favourite show) For a 13 year old he is quite mature.
It's just that on occation his hormones seam to take hold of him and next thing he's gone and this creature stands before me.

[KimB]

Steve Biddulph has a wonderful book called "Raising Boys" I have a copy and it has helped me out so much. My oldest DS is 12 and omg he has some terrible days with moods. This book has explained some of it. Give it a read and see if it can help for you hun. I have been through this with a DD that started at 13 grrrrrr and it hasn't stopped yet