Did I not word this correctly?

[OceanPrincess]

I'm having a Tupperware party tonight at my house. My sister is a rep, she's trying to "reignite" her career, so I said I'd help out.

I invited 18 people, just checked the text message. Got 5 responses. 5. That is all.

Then I saw two of the people during the week and they responded. So that makes 7 in total. 7 from 18. I requested an RSVP. But did I not word it right? Here is what I said:

"Hope to see you then, let me know if you can make it. There will be bubbly... Cheers, OP"

Is that too ambiguous? Would you respond to that only if you were ABLE to come? As in, ignore it if you can't come?

Because seriously, 7 out of 18 is pretty crummy for a response rate.

[~TT40~]

so many people have posted threads about people not RSVPing, and I know for our wedding we had a hard time having to chase people around and hassel them to rsvp for us, and that was a strict by this date with addresses, phonenumbers, emails etc.. so no excuse not to.

seems to be the thing these days, not bothering to rsvp and its really rude and disrepectful!!! I'd hassel them, call them or msg them and ask, say you need numbers (some parties do cause you cook or something in them dont you?)

But yea, I think if you are invited to somewhere, no matter what it is, you say whether you are going or not and give the host as much notice as you can.

[~ Zarava Flutterby ~]

If it were me i would generally let you know either yay or nay... but quite a few people just don't RSVP these days.. i agree it's quite rude.

[maybebabymay]

i can see why people would only have replied if they were attending, by the wording of it. BUT it's common courtesy to say, 'sorry can't make it, have hair appointment'...or whatever. and it takes 2 seconds to reply via txt.

[Marley&Me]

Everybody is just Sooooo busy! Soooo busy that a text is too hard to squeeze in. People are totally like this all the time. Before our wedding we had to chase up 20 or so people to confirm! How bloody slack is that?! And it kind of makes you feel like crud.

It's gotten to the point where I just don't bother organising any get-togethers any more.

[MummyNaomi]

I've been guilty of not replying to things like this - and not because I am being rude but because when I've gotten a text I've not known at the time whether I can (or want to come) and then forgotten about the text in my inbox and forgotten to go back to it, or I've been toddler wrangling or at the shops or out and just can physically respond and forget later. Other times, frankly I have been too busy, balancing work/a child/husband/family/home commitments and trying to find time for myself I often forget things. Don't judge someone so harshly just because they forgot to reply to an sms However if someone rang me and asked me personally, generally you'd get an immediate response from me, as then you have my full attention

I guess its a sign of how we do things now - sending what will seem to some (an impersonal invite) via text or facebook is easy to be overlooked by the recipient when they mean to reply to it later, but never get to it.

For Weddings/Parties the done thing is to send an actual invite in the mail, a bit harder to forget to respond too (I normally stick them to the fridge so they are in my face), however a text invite is easily lost in an inbox full of other texts IYKWIM? I do agree that its quite rude not to respond by the RSVP date when you have a written invite to something.

[~ Mylitta ~]

I agree with Naomi. I can't begin to tell you how often I hear the sms tone on my phone go off while busy with the kids and then totally forget to even check the message, let alone actually respond to it, lol. Then I'll get a couple of sms's from DH or the DSS's and ****** the first message is out of sight in my inbox and I totally forget :/

I like to think I'm not a "rude" person, but I'll admit that recently I forgot to RSVP to two different events (sadly for the same person! Her kitchen tea and her hen's night!). Although, in my defense, I didn't know I'd been invited until after the RSVP date as hubby forgot to mention that he'd picked up "mail" for me that was left at his parents house and the invites sat on his desk unbeknownst to me for a bout a month. Oops.

[OceanPrincess]

MN, Mylitta, good point. I should not be so quick to judge! Life does sometimes get in the way... I should know that.

Guess I'm just feeling a bit unloved! My poor sister, there's only going to be four of us there...

[diva det]

life's busy hun- i think you would expect only to hear from people that are coming
I always forget to reply if i am not coming. usually because boof has my phone lol
btw i cant come, but i told you that the other day lol
mwah

[The[cookie]Doctor]

I read this before on my phone and was just coming back to say the same thing as Mylitta!

I guess it would help if i had a calendar or diary that I used well, then I could give an answer at the time.

I wonder if people are becoming more cavalier about their responses as well, saying yes to make sure they are catered for etc but changing their mind at the last minute? I have had this happen to me a few times and it drives me mad.

[Maruschke]

If I read that I would only have replied if I could make it. Sorry.

[~ Mylitta ~]

MN, Mylitta, good point. I should not be so quick to judge! Life does sometimes get in the way... I should know that.

Guess I'm just feeling a bit unloved! My poor sister, there's only going to be four of us there...

I must admit though, that in your shoes I would have been a little sad as well I tend to take some things way too personally.

[Cherished]

The RSVP thing is getting really rude in society! I always think that the people you are inviting are supposed to be your 'friends' so why are they being so rude not getting back to you? I'm in 2 minds about it, either say "RSVP by X date or you won't be catered for" (or something similar like we need to know numbers) Or if anyone doesn't reply just not invite them anything ever again lol

[peanutter]

Hmmm, I disagree with some of the earlier posts.

In my opinion, while I think it's understandable that sometimes invitations do genuinely get forgotten etc, I still think it's rude for people not to RSVP. Not that they're an evil person or anything ... But I think it's understandable, but rude.

This isn't referring to cases where you haven't seen the invitation - only times when you have seen it, and not replied (whether you've forgotten or whatever).

I don't think that people (like the other ladies who have posted) sit around thinking, "I'm too inportant to reply to your message" or "I'm not going to respond yet because a better offer might come up" but I do think that it's pretty simple to get the invitation, see if you're available, decide if you want to go, and then reply.

Or if it's the case that you're not sure yet whether you're going to be available, then put the invitation in your diary - write the RSVP date into your diary or phone reminder to make sure you reply, and then do it when the RSVP date rolls around (or if it's a flexible rsvp, set the reminder it for that night when you're able to bump calendars with your DH, or the weekend, or whatever).

Everyone is busy. But I think we make time to do what is important - and for me, being polite, respecting my friends' feelings and responding to invitations is important.

To answer your initial question, I think the wording is a little ambiguous in the way you have already flagged - it's able to be read as thogh you only need a reply if they're coming - but it's sufficiently ambiguous that I think I would have responded either way, as a courtesy.

But as some others have said here - it really does seem to be a growing trend, and it's awful when you see and hear about people having to chase up whether guests are going to be coming to events like weddings etc!! I find it astonishing. And children's birthday parties, where 20 odd kids have been invited, and 4 replies have been received ... I just think it's really poor behaviour and unfair on the birthday boy/girl

or the tupperware hostess

[~ Mylitta ~]

But I think we make time to do what is important - and for me, being polite, respecting my friends' feelings and responding to invitations is important.

I think that brings up a good point too. I think it also depends on how "close" you are to these people. I often receive facebook invites to events and parties, but it's very common for me to completely ignore them and delete them without even opening. I used to be involved in the rnb music scene and so still have a number of contacts from that, but many of them are barely acquaintances, let alone friends. I guess I'm saying that if I received what I thought might just be a "bulk sent" invite to something, then I'd be likely to ignore it.

Having said that, inviting 20 people to a tupperware party doesn't sound like you just sent out invites to every random person in your phone, so I would have liked more repsonses...

[surprised]

I think part of the problem is the many ways we now receive invites, and the fact that we seem to get invites left right and centre. People seem to have different "standards" for rsvping depending on the nature of the invite.

Eg:
Posted/written invite: I would definitely RSVP and make sure I did it on time or early
Facebook invite: Probably not unless I wanted to go. I get invites to things for people who I barely know or have anything to do with - I wish they would filter their invite lists.
Text invite: I would not deliberately NOT rsvp, but I wouldn't stress too much if I forgot, especially if it was a group text.
Email invite: as per text

These aren't my hard and fast rules, but just trying to show how I approach different invites. Some may consider not rsvping to a FB invite rude, but I think it's rude to send them in the first place if it's the kind of event where you really need rsvps. Does that make sense?

[Maruschke]

I think part of the problem is the many ways we now receive invites, and the fact that we seem to get invites left right and centre. People seem to have different "standards" for rsvping depending on the nature of the invite.

Eg:
Posted/written invite: I would definitely RSVP and make sure I did it on time or early
Facebook invite: Probably not unless I wanted to go. I get invites to things for people who I barely know or have anything to do with - I wish they would filter their invite lists.
Text invite: I would not deliberately NOT rsvp, but I wouldn't stress too much if I forgot, especially if it was a group text.
Email invite: as per text

These aren't my hard and fast rules, but just trying to show how I approach different invites. Some may consider not rsvping to a FB invite rude, but I think it's rude to send them in the first place if it's the kind of event where you really need rsvps. Does that make sense?

I agree... a text makes it sound kinda informal. The language was light and they were invited to reply IF they wanted to come. I agree that not RSVP'ing was rude but I understand in this case why it doesn't happen. Also, I get pretty peeved when my friends invite me to these kind of parties, I hate them...

[[M]umma[M]ia]

It drives me mad when people dont RSVP. Just because its not important to them, doesnt mean its not important to you.