What would you do??

[beansbeans!]

We have two cats, a brother and sister. We've had them for 10yrs, they'll be 11 at easter time. And we've had them since they were 5wks old.

When I got pregnant with DD1 the boy became my protector (even more so than pre-pregnancy) He would sleep at my feet, follow me round, sit with me on the lounge. He would sit on my tummy and purr whenever DD1 moved or kicked. After she was born and we brought her home, he took up guard on her. He would sleep at the foot of her bouncer, or at the foot of wherever she was. When she became mobile he would sit and protect her, catch her attention if she was heading somewhere she shouldnt be going, etc.

He was the same when I was pregnant with DD2 and once she was born. He is the same this time round with this pregnancy as well.

But the girl has been different. She went weird with the first pregnancy, and never paid attention to DD1 once born. Actually she has only started to pay attention to the girls in the last year or less, because she realises now she can get pats off them.
The girl cat started peeing on anything of mine, my clothes, my shoes, anything that smelt of me. Each time after the girls were born she would stop the peeing, but would act strange.
This time round I have had enough. She is peeing on anything that the girls and I own, clothing and what not. She has even pee'd on my side of the bed, all over doonas in the middle of winter. She isnt friendly to me at all anymore. She has started sleeping in the girls beds, but not at the end of the bed, up next to or on their heads. Its gotten to the point where the girls are waking up several times in an hour or so due to the cat. Its to the point where we lock the cats in the laundry every night so that we know she wont do anything silly.
Right now, since moving both cats are in the shed, because I cannot face having the girl in here.

The options that we are facing are,
to separate them. Keep the boy, and take the girl to the rspca
Get her put down.
Even though we are pretty sure her future doesnt look pretty with her age and been a cat.
to give her away, although I dont like how likely that will be.
Keep them both, keep living life the way it has been and just keep everything out of her reach (which I find to be scary with sprouts arrival coming up)
Keep them both but keep them in the shed (which breaks my heart, because thats no life in my mind)
Or DH's suggestion (he would do what they do on farms... He's a farmboy at heart, growing up on farms etc).. I have saida flat out no to this, explaining that I would never be able to look at him the same again. Even though I know that it would be done right. (Im sure this suggestion will get some opinions, so just to say I have said no, and I am open to any and all other suggestions)

Im just at my wits end with it all. Im tired of having an animal in my house that I cannot trust.

TIA

[Bengal]

Oh I have a beloved cat who is 15 and I would be so sad if this happens to us. It's such a shame she is acting out

Please take them out of the shed, could you build a cat run outside and keep lady cat in there ?

Or find her a home ? Put a notice up at your local supermarket, an elderly person may be looking for company ?

[peanutter]

we went through this not long ago (but just with the one cat).

the last straw was when puss peed all over my handbag, killing my mobile phone and saturating other items ... she was getting jealous of DS, and was not coping with him becoming increasingly mobile, and she was peeing in inappropriate places and on inappropriate things ...

so we re-homed her - we'd put up with it for months (DS was around 1yo) and enough was enough - we didn't want to send her to the RSPCA because she was 11 and almost certainly would have been put down as it would be unlikely that she would get adopted, so we asked around until we found someone who would take her.

actually, we ended up having to find two homes - at the first home, she chased one of the cats living there away! so we found someone else with no pets who was interested in having one

thankfully, it has worked out well for everyone, and she seems happier in her child-free zone

[Babyluv]

This happened with my girl cat when I moved in with dh. She was rehomed and now is a very happy cat!

[beansbeans!]

Thanks ladies,
I might put some ad's up around and ask around.

Bengal, They are in the shed at the moment because when we move the boy gets stressed out with the new environment, boxes and everything out of place. So we remove them from the home whilst we pack up and then unpack at the new house. When he gets stressed he ends up at the vets with a nasty bill, so the shed is a safer option. So they have been in the shed whilst we moved houses in the last week. I have everything about ready to have them back inside with us. Just Im now stressing about what to do with her.

We had talked about a cat run, but they are indoor cats, always have been. The outside world really freaks them out. When they escape these days they out the door then just sit and stare at everything before returning inside!!

Peanutter, maybe its a female thing? Jealousy maybe??

Might ring round the vets on monday and see if they know of anyone who might like to take her as well

[HotI]

A mate got a spray thing (like the room deodorisers) that sprays some hormone that is meant to calm cats down. It replicates the hormone that cats release when they are pregnant. Might be worth trying.

[peanutter]

no idea, but it was sad - she's lived with us since she was only a few weeks old ...

but nothing we'd tried was helping, and we were worried that she was going start getting more aggro at DS, and maybe end up doing something ...

I haven't heard of the spray - that might be worth trying?

otherwise, re-homing might be the way to go.

[Marley&Me]

Don't forget to put ads up at your local vet. At least then you will get someone who you know will look after her

[beansbeans!]

A mate got a spray thing (like the room deodorisers) that sprays some hormone that is meant to calm cats down. It replicates the hormone that cats release when they are pregnant. Might be worth trying.

Thanks HotI, we've done the spray thing in the past to try, but they dont seem to work on our animals! Instead of deterring them, the cats want more of the smell and think we are encouraging the behaviour! " the dog is the same unfortunately!

Thanks Tasha, I'll make up some ads to put round the vets too. I messaged DH at work and asked him to start asking round to see if anyone will take her. Theres a fair few animal lovers at his work, so hopefully someone will take him up on the offer!

[HotI]

not sure if this is same spray my mate used but google 'feliway' and you see kinda the thing she found worked.


ETA- sorry, didn't see your last post when i posted. ignore this then.

[beansbeans!]

Thanks HotI I just googled that spray. I'll show Dh when he gets home to see if its any different to the stuff we've tried. Its a bit too much for this pregnant brain at the moment

[~ Mylitta ~]

I think the first thing you should do is take her for a consultation with your vet. You've had her a long time and obviously love her, so rather than go straight to the "rehoming" option, you should look at other options.

Firstly, they'll rule out anything medical that may be affecting her. It may be a coincidence that it all began when you were pregnant (probably not, but it's best to have it ruled out).

The most common "fix" for behavioural problems like this is a diffuser called "Feliway". It's very similar to the perfume diffusers that you can plug into a wall outlet and it releases fragrance in your home. Feliway has a synthetic version of the pheromone that cats produce on their faces and rub around their territory to mark it as "safe and secure". I've had many many clients that have used it and had amazing results. One of my work colleagues from the vet clinic actually had major urination problems with both her male and female cats, and the Feliway changed them into happier, more content cats that no longer peed on everything.

One thing I'd be concerned about with rehoming is the possible affect it may have on your male cat too. They've never been apart in their lives and separating them now might change the behaviour of the male cat that you keep.

Best of luck and I hope things work out so that you can keep your beloved little friend.


EDIT: Lol, HotI, you beat me with the name of the product Fingers crossed that Feliway could be the answer here!

[beansbeans!]

Thanks Mylitta!

We have thought about what it would do to the boy, but we're thinking it might be worth the risk. Shes getting worse over time and nothing seems to work. But as I said I am open to suggestions. I just have to remember to show Dh the spray when he gets home!

[Livinthedream]

TBH, unless you can guarantee that the home she will go to will be tolerant of her issues (assuming she continues the behavior) I would be considering euthanasia.
Not many people would be very tolerant of a cat who wee's on everything and it may be that her new owners would make her a permanent out side cat, or worse, just dump her .
Its a really tough call, but if you do decide to rehome her, please do it yourselves and make it very clear to the new owners, that if the behaviour continues and they are not prepared to tolerate it, that she will be returned to your care and you have her put to sleep.
I believe there is such a things as a fate worse than death where animals are concerned.
What a horrible situation for you. good luck. xx

[LionsandBears]

I dont have experience with cats but know when we had a dog that got jealous of a new family member and was acting out, the vet put her on hormone treatment which sorted her out.

I'd talk to your vet first before making a decision.