thread: Birthday invitations

  1. #1
    Registered User

    May 2007
    3,220

    Birthday invitations

    How would you feel if at Kindy (or school) pick up one of the mums was giving out invitations for their child's party to lots of mums, but your child was not invited?

    Do you think that it is appropriate to give out invites in front of people that are clearly not invited?

    My son was invited, but there were a few kids that were not.

    Personally I don't think it is the best form to give out invites in front of other kids or parents. There are pockets for each child, and I think it would be better to put the invites in there.

  2. #2

    Mar 2004
    Sparta
    12,662

    I don't have a problem with it.
    You can't invite everyone to every party and personally I can't be bothered sneaking around trying to hand out invitations secretly when the children are going to know about the party from the playground talk anyway.
    Children don't always check their lockers and parents don't always have the time so it makes more sense to hand it out in person. I just gave DS1 his own invitations to hand out this year.

  3. #3
    Registered User

    Mar 2007
    6,900

    I think it's fine. That's the way life it, you don't get invited to everything. And I think the sneaking around seems worse to me iykwim? But I haven't had to deal with it yet, maybe I'll feel differently??

  4. #4
    Registered User

    Jan 2009
    Melbourne
    205

    I don't have a problem with it either. It's a fact of life that people don't always get invited to things. I would understand that the parent can't invite everyone or that the child didn't want my child there for whatever reason. I would just explain that to my child IF they even noticed. I would take it as an opportunity to try to build my child into someone who deals with disappointments in their life appropriately.
    It has happened to my eldest, and i simply explained that the parent couldn't invite everyone, and said, that he hadn't invited everyone to his party either. He accepted that and moved on.

  5. #5

    Jul 2009
    Out North, Vic
    8,538

    Personally i think if the kids can't see there is not so much of an issue but if it were me i would be giving them to the teacher and asking they be put in their pockets or bags.
    As a parent i can undestand that kids can't always be invited to things but as a child at that age it's hard to understand why someone else got an invitation and you didn't.
    But thats just me personally, i'm sure it will happen next year with DD's kinder... eeeeek.

    Each to their own though, i dón't think there is a right or wrong, unless they are specifically making a point or telling people that XYZ is NOT invited IYKWIM.

  6. #6
    Registered User

    May 2007
    3,220

    But putting it in the pocket is not sneaking. I am not saying make it sneaky, I just dont think you need to advertise that most kids are invited bar a few.

  7. #7
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Feb 2006
    melbourne
    11,462

    i recently handed out DD1's invites at kinder. i asked the teacher what do they prefer and she said in the pigeon holes...so i did....Another mum of a child that wasnt invited had an indirect go at me the next morning about not getting and invite . No wonder kids dotn have resiliance if the mum is the one with the issue.
    She even boasted about it to another mum who inturn told me.
    Kids need to learn that they cant go to everyones party and i think its up to parents to help their kids understand that...but having said that i dont think handing they our right in fron of kids is neccessarily right either

  8. #8
    Registered User

    Jun 2009
    913

    I think discretion is the issue. You can hand things out discreetly, or you can make a big show and fuss about it all. I think there are some settings where giving out invites is inappropriate (I've been to parties where someone was giving out invites for their own party), but when it comes to school parties it is really tricky. I think kids and their parents need to be handed (or posted) something rather than just putting it in their pocket because there are probably a few who don't check very thoroughly!

    I dunno - I'm not sure there is a good way to give out invites at school. Maybe posting to home? But then you don't always know the address, and it can get exxy. At some point the kids who aren't invited will find out about it, and as others have said you can't always be invited to everything.

    But if it was me seeing lots of other children being invited, I'd feel pretty crap

  9. #9
    Registered User

    Jan 2006
    8,369

    If it is 25 children out of 27 going, bad form to hand out right in front of everyone.

    20/27... maybe a little sneakiness, but probably best not to (jic someone thinks they're invited and their child forgot to bring the invite home).

    15/27 - that's a fair amount not going, in front of other people should be fine.

    Why not get to the playground early and give to the mothers before the little ones come out? Sounds like a fair compromise to me. And you can't invite everyone to everything, I'm sure people will appreciate that.

  10. #10
    Registered User

    Oct 2006
    Sydney
    4,081

    We do pockets at our preschool. I like it that way, personally.