thread: My son is very silent

  1. #1
    Registered User

    Nov 2011
    NSW
    91

    My son is very silent

    My DS is 16 months old. Developmentally (according to Babycenter's milestone chart) he is on track and with most things ahead, except ONE thing: his speech. Or lack of.

    I'm losing sleep over this and I don't know what to do anymore.

    He has said over 10 words, maybe more but the problem is he will say them a few times and then ever again. Floor example he finally said mamma around 10 months, did so for 2 weeks and then just stopped. The same with all his other words: daddy, doggy, duckie, ball, go, car, hallo, book, up etc. He will say the word and then never again.

    My GP suggested waiting until 18 months to have him assessed by s Speech Patologist. I couldn't wait so long and had him assessed at 14 months. She said that his receptive language is that of a 18-24 month old but his expressive language is a bit behind. She will contact me when he is 18 months to see if he's made any progress.

    But that makes the worry worse!

    I'm absolutely petrified that there is something wrong with him and I don't know what else I can do to make him talk. I read to him, play with hom on the floor, my DH does the same. I've even placed him in childcare 2 days a week with the hope that the contact with other children might encourage him to talk. But nothing. I'm sure I'm the only mum who's 16 month old can't even call mr 'mommy'.

    What do I do? I'm running out of ideas and I'm do worried about my boy.

  2. #2
    Registered User

    Oct 2007
    Middle Victoria
    8,924

    My DD is 20 months old, and also chooses when she will speak and when she won't. There are a few words that she had said once or twice but not again. Yesterday i was out with my Mum, and my Mum was walking away from us when my DD called out "Nanny, nanny" clear as- she has never said Nanny before (even though we say it lots) and then laughed afterwards. It was like she was saying 'i can say words but i choose to do it on my own time'.

    At the 18 month assessment, they hope that bub has 5 words. At 2 years, i think it is 50 words.

    Your LO sounds like he is doing ok, and you are doing all the right things. I wouldn't stress too much.

  3. #3
    2014 BellyBelly RAK Recipient.

    Dec 2008
    Melbourne, VIC
    4,637

    Hi hun, I'm sorry you're so worried about your DS. I think that if you took him to a developmental paed now, I'm sure he/she would tell you to get him seen by a speech pathologist which you've seen anyway. One suggestion is to get a second opinion from a different speech pathologist. My DS has been saying the same words over and over since he was very little (mama, dada, gaga, tete, car, ta) and at 20 months he has no new words. I had him assessed at the 18 month mark by a MCHN, and she said to get him seen by a developmental paed as he is behind in language/communication. I also went to his normal paed, and he wants him assessed closer to 24 months as he said children can do a massive leap all of a sudden, so assessing them too early can be inaccurate. It's so hard not to stress about your LO, but if you are still really worried, go and get him checked out again if you can't wait till he's 18 months. GL hun, I hope it all goes well.

  4. #4
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Jul 2008
    Eastern Surburbs, Melbourne
    1,841

    My grandson was over three before he really started talking and at five is quite advanced. We have been amazed what he took in ans he still has days when he is not talkative. He had a bit of speech therapy and is not going to school next year but that's not a problem as another year at kinder will not be bad for him.
    Keep reading and talking to him as he will be taking in everything you say.
    I love ringing him and having a conversation with him which is getting clearer all the time. When you ring your Mum put the phone on speaker and get her to say hello and ask how he is.
    I have heard many stories about kids not talking to go on to be chatterboxes. Some kids just don't want to talk unless they want to.

  5. #5
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Jan 2006
    11,633

    I'm sorry this is worrying you so much, but he actually sounds pretty normal to me. I don't think it's that unusual to use words once then not again for a long time. It may just be a 'choice', rather than an inability.
    At 18 months my son had maybe 5 actual words and few sounds that he used. By 2 he was talking in 5-6 word sentences.
    do you have concerns about his comprehension or hearing at all? Any other reason why you're worrying about this? There certainly is no harm in getting him checked out if you want to. I hope you can get some reassurance.

  6. #6
    Registered User

    Sep 2005
    In the middle of nowhere
    9,362

    My little guy was another silent assassin. After having a DD that never ever stops talking I was worried. He had maybe 5-10 words until 2. Mum didn't come until nearly 2. Over a few months he exploded. Now at nearly 3 he talks as much as DD ever did.
    We had a great signing system that we used so I knew he understood and I tried my best to understand him so he didn't become frustrated and not talk for longer. I knew he could hear well.

    I was really worried too FWIW, but asking other mamas here their experiences helped.

  7. #7
    Registered User

    Dec 2006
    Melbourne
    3,737

    My ds doesn't talk much, compared to the girls he is much quieter. But he still says the odd word here and there. He is 16 months too, he whacks, laughs and yells to get across what he wants, not worried about it yet as dd2 took a while to get going too she was about 22momths before she really got talking.

  8. #8
    Registered User
    Add ElleJay on Facebook Follow ElleJay On Twitter

    Jun 2007
    Western Australia
    6,587

    My boy has just turned two and doesn't really talk much either. When we took him to the CHN, she said he should have a lot of words in his vocab but he says words then won't say them again. He's being referred to a speech pathologist but won't be going for quite a while cause there's a huge line - he's picking up words on his own ATM though.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk - even though I should be cleaning

  9. #9
    Registered User

    Jun 2007
    Dandenong Ranges, Melbourne.
    5,673

    have you had his hearing tested? just a thought..

  10. #10
    Registered User

    Nov 2011
    NSW
    91

    Thanks for all your replies.

    I guess I'm so worried about this for quite a few reasons: my brother was a late talker and needed OT & was in a Special Needs school until high school, I suffer from anxiety (so every thing is a bigger problem than what it really is), I work in Special Needs, so I see issues on a daily basis AND I'm a very paranoid first time mum with NO experience of children before I had my LO, so everything is different and weird to me and wondering if what my LO does is normal compared to other children his age.

    His hearing is fine, although he's had quite a few ear infections this year. All my GP tells me is his ear is a bit red and will sometimes prescribe antibiotics. I sometimes wonder if it's more than that, maybe he needs grommets or something? His hearing was assessed at 15 months and the audiologist couldn't find any fluid build-up or anything.

    He understands everything we say & ask him, will follow instructions and he has s great memory. I only have to name an object once and he will remember. He points, waves, claps and will, when in the mood use 1-2 signs.

    He babbles/uses jargon, but not much. He's really, really quiet.

    I wish I can just enjoy him and the time we have together, but I'm always just so worried.

    Might get a second opinion from a Speech Pathologist... Can't hurt right?

  11. #11
    Registered User

    Oct 2007
    Middle Victoria
    8,924

    It can take awhile to get an appointment to a speechie, so if you are concerned it certainly can't hurt to put his name down now. If you find he doesn't need the appointment, you can always cancel later, or go and just be reassured that everthing is fine. Someone also told me that for parents who are with their kids alot, and quite responsive to their needs (before the child asks for things), speech can take a bit longer because the child doesn't 'need' to talk. It kinda makes sense to me.

  12. #12
    Registered User

    Jun 2009
    913

    You know what hun? He sounds like a really normal, happy little guy. Relax and enjoy him - you never get this precious time back. (Easier said than done, I know). xoxo

  13. #13
    Registered User
    Add helle on Facebook

    Sep 2008
    Bunbury, Western Australia
    3,963

    He sounds fine to me.
    I don't think my ds started to really "talk" until About 20 months, prior to that he probably had like, 4 words - he is 22 months now and I can't shut him up. he just had this massive word vomit one day and that was that. He will get there and when he does you'll wish he'd just be quiet for five minutes!

  14. #14
    Registered User

    Dec 2005
    In Bankworld with Barbara
    14,222

    He is more than likely absolutely normal and fine and just a little slow to get going. BUT as others have said, the list for a speechie is long and with you working in special needs you probably know that all too well, so it wouldn't hurt to at least get him on the waiting list for a speechie now, but if he doesn't need it by the time you get in to see them, you just cancel. Also considering your family history, it certainly wont hurt to have an assessment done and at least have that confirmation from them that he's fine.

  15. #15
    Registered User

    Jun 2007
    Where Chaos is fun and plentiful!!!!
    1,883

    It would be easier if these little people came with instruction manuals sometimes!!!

    My DD is 18 months and she is by no means "talking" she does babble in some strange incoherant language that no one but her knows, but as for real words... not so many. She does say mumumumum occassionally, but whether she is actually saying it to me I am not sure.. when she wants my attention she usually says "ddddaaaaatttttttt"

    I think its ok to wait, though I do understand that your concerned and that you would rather seek help earleir than later if there is a problem. But I think that really I would try not to worry until he is closer to 2 and see how he is going then.

  16. #16
    Registered User

    Nov 2008
    Melbourne
    2,008

    You know what hun? He sounds like a really normal, happy little guy. Relax and enjoy him - you never get this precious time back. (Easier said than done, I know). xoxo
    This is what I think too!

    My DS wasn't a big talker until his vocab exploded around the time he turned two. To me it doesn't sound like you have much to worry about. And, it is important to remember that typically boys are slower to talk than girls. I remember my MCHN telling me that boys do things (walk, run etc) and girls talk (kinda like us grown ups). If you feel better making an appt then do, but also be aware that it may just feed your anxiety if you are getting told this is and that isn't normal. I'm no expert, but based on what you've said it's too early to start worrying. If you're not seeing any improvement by the time he's two, and then again by the time he's 2.5 then maybe there's a problem.

  17. #17
    Registered User

    Jan 2009
    A Pirate Ship
    3,627

    Hi there and welcome to BB. my ds is 15 months in a couple of days and doesn't say anywhere near the amount of words that your ds has come out with. He started saying mum at about 5 months and still doesn't say dad clearly. He says car and months ago came out with hello daddy but we haven't heard that again. I haven't been worried at all. Every child will develop at their own pace