Bedtime Woes - PLEASE Help!

[UntoldAngel]

DS is 18.5months old and for the most part has been breastfed to sleep at night. This hasn't been an issue and has been good bonding time. However, now that DD is born and DH is back at work, his nightshift makes bedtime a nightmare for me.

Basically, I have 3-4hours of settling both children, because just as DS starts to drop off to sleep, DD starts crying. Settle her down, and DS is worked up. You get the picture. During this time I don't get to eat, drink, pee, scratch my butt or keep my sanity

So I need some ideas on how to get DS to go to sleep in his cot, without having him scream down the house. I have been getting him to fall asleep in his cot most nights, but it can take over an hour some nights with me or DH laying beside the cot holding his hand. This is only 'practical' when DH is home to help with DD, I can't lay there for an hour when it's just me with the two of them.

I am seriously at my wits end with this, so any suggestions would be greatly appreciated

TIA x

[onthefly]

can you feed DD while sitting by DS...? Or will she settle in a sling while you stay with him...?

[peanutter]

I was going to suggest the same thing: can you possibly bf bub in DS's room?

so you're there, quietly, until he falls asleep?

or would music or a night light help him settle?

[Snacks]

Aw, I SO feel your pain!
We had similar issues when P was a baby. Y'know there were many nights when I just did what you are doing - juggled the two of them for what felt like an eternity.
I found I couldn't bring P into N's room because that would just make her jealous and even more upset (I imagine if your DS is still bfeeding then bf DD in front of him will not help terribly much, although I guess it's worth a try to see if your presence there even if she's there too is enough).
I used to try and time P's last nap of the day to commence right before N's bedtime although there were only a couple of occasions where this really worked. These days P is ok at being left in bed with a book and the hall light on. She often entertains herself with it (usually by banging it around rather than actually looking at it, lol!) and this entertains her enough til she is tired enough to fall asleep. But she's a good year older than your DS... (because at 5yo Nat often still requires my presence with her as she falls asleep).
Hugs - hope you work out a groove soon.

[starangelk]

What about feeding dd first while P is Playing, putting Dd down to sleep/nap and then settling P for the night?

[BlackRose]

What about shortening P's day time nap so that he really wants to go to sleep at bed time? L is still having a 2-3 hour day nap but if it's less than that he is so ready for bed he doesn't make a fuss when it's time to put him to sleep.

Must be a nightmare hun.

[wysiwyg]

I would try feeding DD while reading to DS and see how it goes, or maybe DD will just be happy being there with you. When I do bedtime on my own (slightly larger age gap 26 months), first I try settle DS while DD plays or watches TV, if that fails I take him into DD room and they lay in bed and have a story (DD loves this and asks for DS to go in with her every night) if he is whining I feed him while storytelling. If both are being painful as last resort I lay down between them in my bed and in about 20 mins are asleep and transfer them ( only had to do once or twice in 5 months).